Let’s be friends.
Today was not a bad day to start the week.
It was sunny.
So grateful to ride my scooter to and from work, such a gift.
I heard someone complaining, “yeah, it’s sunny, but it’s freezing.”
Shut the fuck up bitch.
It’s NOT raining.
I will take sunny and cold over rain any damn day.
Grateful the drought is finally over, but I think we are amply replenished and the weather can just give it a rest for a minute.
I had a really nice leisurely morning with no homework.
I got it done this past weekend, the reading, so my normal go to reading time I spent on doing some extra personal writing and yes, I cleaned the house before I left for work, clean bathroom, clean kitchen, swept the floors.
It was super nice to come home to.
I came home to some nice roast chicken dinner too.
Very glad I had done the food prep this weekend, it was super easy to come home, peel a couple of carrots to nosh on and heat up my turmeric and garlic brown rice and a roast chicken breast and have a hot, homemade dinner.
I love self-care.
I’ve gotten better and better at it.
From going to the dentist and paying for it all up front.
To paying my rent and utilities early for March.
To going to yoga.
To having extra boxes of my favorite tea in the house.
To lighting up the candles when I get home.
It really helps me to be able to navigate the world with kindness and love when I have first taken care of myself.
And I needed that good self-care today.
Both my charges were home.
I had expected that they would be in school, ski week vacation is over and school is back in.
It was grandma’s last day before flying back home so both of the older kids stayed home to see her off.
We had a very sweet day.
Built a Lego model, colored, watched a Cat in The Hat video, and read a lot of books.
I also cooked lunch and dinner for them.
I love cooking.
It is such a nice thing that it is part of my job.
Tonight for dinner I made sautéed ground chicken with onions and garlic in a rosemary infused bechamel sauce and served it over penne pasta. I made a side of regular mac and cheese, albeit the fancy kind for the kids, as well as maple and soy glazed Julienne carrots and zucchini.
“Carmen! You are the best cooker ever!” My little lady charge told me, “it is so yummy!”
She likes to sit with me when I have my lunch and nibble whatever I’m having as well as her own meals.
It’s rather endearing.
“More of the corn,” she told me today with these big saucer blue eyes full of merriment and mischievousness.
I was eating a bowl of homemade chicken soup with brown rice and vegetables.
“I’ll have a carrot now,” she said next, pointing to the one in the bowl she wanted.
I just laughed and spooned it into her mouth.
When I got home tonight after work and doing the deal over at 7th and Irving, I had a very kind text message from the dad too, saying basically how grateful he was to come home from a hard day at work to a really nice dinner.
That too makes my day.
I don’t need to be validated, but damn, it is nice to get it, especially from new employers.
I really am quite happy to be with them and so grateful to be in an environment where I feel like I’m totally being of service and also that I am really appreciated for my skills and the job I do.
Usefulness makes for happiness.
I am happy.
I am happy too that I spent some time before work crunching my numbers and saw quite clearly that despite the unexpected out go of the money for the dental stuff, I will be quite fine this upcoming month.
My costs will be covered and I shouldn’t have any problems with making ends meet.
It helps that I have some cash in savings, so I don’t feel stressed out.
I put 3/4s of my tax return straight into savings.
So even though it feels like I don’t have any money, I in fact, do.
I just don’t want to touch it.
I have one savings account that is for travel and I have one that is the meager beginnings of a prudent reserve.
The month of March, five weeks.
So I’ll get a little extra there and although I’m not big on working extra hours past 40, I will one week in March as the dad will be on a business trip and I’m going to help out the family more that week.
I’m not quite sure what that looks like, but I said I would help and I am happy to do so.
A lot of that comes from feeling on top of my school work and my next action steps around my practicum placement and my internship.
I have a workshop that I will be attending the next weekend of school to acquire all the paperwork and take the next steps and then that following week I’ll be going to my supervisor with the paperwork and starting the next phase of the practicum.
There are lots of things happening.
But I don’t feel overwhelmed and I’m not trying to figure anything out.
I just keep showing up day-to-day.
Taking whatever next action is in front of me and letting go of the results.
Because the results are not mine anyway.
They never have been.
I can’t control the outcome of anything.
I can just take some simple actions and love myself for trying.
Pretty damn simple.