I am no good at it. I need to be going 845 mph. Relax. How? I have recently been “forced” to get my relax on. I feel like I’ve been letting go by having my fingers pried off the car careening down the road. I have road rash, bleeding fingernails, and a black eye from that pothole on Polk and California, but I’m still hanging the fuck on.
Granted today has been better than yesterday. Yesterday I was crying in Burger Joint with my friend Arin over lunch. Crying because I have too much time on my hands. Who the fuck does that. I suppose I wouldn’t be so morose about it if I had some income coming in. Having free time without cash is uncomfortable to me.
There’s truly nothing wrong here. I gots groceries, rent be paid, my cats got litter, nobody’s calling my cell asking me to pay up. I just don’t have leisure money for all the leisure I got.
So I find myself doing dork ass things like grocking out on Face Book…crack for the techno masses. Or watching every episode of Weeds I can down load. I did buy a couple of books before the cashola ran out. And truth be told, there’s a fiver in my wallet. I can run with that tonight and get myself a nice latte down at Four Barrel before beginning my evening of more free time than any person needs.
I keep getting the enjoy it while it lasts sort of thing. People, I am like a shark I need to move and shake or I sink. Maybe that’s what I have to do. Just sink into my bed. Take naps at three in the afternoon. Drink tea and wave at the tourists going by on the trolley cars. I never realized how many tourists my neighborhood gets until I’ve had a few afternoons off to wander around the hood.
I rather enjoy the feeling of being lumped in with the tourists and like to pretend that I’m some one exotic from Europe escaping the late summer days of heat baking the cities. If I don’t talk, but just nod to people from behind my mirrored sunglasses, it works. Then I can stroll around Grace Cathedral and walk the labyrinth or muddle around Huntington Square park and read my new book on a bench.
Just another lazy tourist on vacation. I need to practice sleeping in too. The fear is that I will get too good at it and when the work does commence again I will be completely out of whack.
I have lost track of what day it is during the week. I literally have to think about what day it is, it doesn’t just roll off my tongue. And the date, forget that shit. I went four days thinking it was September 20th.
I am doing things don’t get me wrong, it’s just the time in between stuff that I have idle hands and we all know idle hands are the devils play. Maybe I should just masturbate some more.
Auntiebubba 