Whew.  I just took my wall calendar down and started marking up the month of May and some days in June.  It looks like I will be a very busy monkey for the next two months.

I let my ego get in the way of my keyboard.

I recently received an e-mail asking me if I would consider taking a small part in a play that is being performed locally for a few runs and in LA, for one night.  My first response was, about time I got asked!  Then my next thought was, no, nope, no, thanks, but no thanks.  The next thought, a quiet, sneaky one that just crept in through a side door–who left that door open?  Said, “hmmm, well, maybe.  Depends on what the schedule looks like”.

And as it turns out, the rehearsals and the performances, two, possibly three, all happen to coincide with times I actually have available.  So, without much more thought, I shot back an e-mail and said yes.

What the fuck was I thinking?  Yes, the dates are free, but now I have a walloping amount of my Fridays and Saturdays spoken for in the months of May and June.  And, duh, I have to memorize lines.  In what time?

Fuck my mother.

Not literally, please.

Ugh.  The first rehearsal is this upcoming Friday and I have not memorized the lines.  I have printed off the script and I have high lighted my lines.  And like a dumb ass, I also said recently,  “sure, I can help out with that part too”.  At the time I was asked, last Sunday, I thought, what ever, I’m already committed, I can play another small part.  No biggie.

Duh, jack ass, more lines to memorize.


I have taken the time to read through the part a few times and I have seen the play performed twice, no, I think three times, so I’m familiar with how it runs, but I’ve never been in it.  And I certainly have not acted.  I am not an actor, although I have played one on tv.

Lying is different from acting, although I used to think the two were quite the same thing.  I have lied a lot.  Which I thought made me a great actor, but there is truly a difference.

I did take an acting class in college, one semester, and I performed a monologue by Sam Shepard and I was the wife in Death of a Sales Man.  I don’t remember anything about the Shepard piece except that one night, a bit drunk, I recited to a man for whom I had a wicked crush on, Nick with the dreamy brown eyes and the old Chevy truck his grandpa left to him when he passed.  It got the boy into my bed.  I don’t think this is going to be that kind of experience.

And I remember the way the lines looked in the Death of a Salesman piece.  Not, mind you, what the lines were, but how they were spaced.  I can actually see the photo copy of the script in my mind’s eye.  That and how cold my partner’s hands were when we were clasping hands in a pivotal scene.  I was so surprised I almost bungled my next line.  How could Alex be nervous?  He was awesome and I was nervous, damn it.

I have other memories of that class, but nothing that speaks to being an actor.  Mainly that a group of us would hang out at the Angelic and have beers.  I also recall that I hired one of my classmates, Tom, to be a bouncer at the bar later that semester.  I think I had a crush on him, tiny one, never went anywhere.  We did play strip poker one night after hours at the Angelic, my a lot of stuff happened off the clock, and he lost.

He was, ah, very tall.

Ahem, I digress.

I haven’t memorized anything for a while.  I believe my powers of memory are pretty good.  But I tell you it is damn hard to run lines with 18 month olds.  I figure work is the place I’m going to be memorizing lines.  During nap time, preferably. I tried earlier w/K. while she was awake, before S. got there.  But she was just pissed that I wasn’t giving her full on attention.  I got through one run through of my lines.  And only for the first character.  I haven’t even said out loud the second characters lines.  I did not get time during the girls nap time as I was busy doing chores.

Repeat, I am a dumb ass.

A dumb ass who’s not going to have any social life for the next two months.

See you in July.

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