Process, Process Damn it!


I am trying to just let everything that has happened today sink in and settle and be itself in its own sort of way, but damn it is tough.  I sort of want to jump up and down, scream at the top of my lungs, do a happy dance, and go hide under the covers all at the same time.

This morning I got up did my morning routine and rode my bike up and over the hill to Sutter at Van Ness to sign my lease for my new apartment.  I met my rental agent, the sweet and quite solicitous Zach, and signed my lease, and left a cash deposit to secure it while I do the moving from my studio into the one bedroom.  I get the keys on Wednesday.  Zach is actually going to come by my place and hand them off to me.  The floors are being refinished over the weekend and if I am discreet I can move in a few things before the 1st as long as it doesn’t interfere with the floors and the touch up paint that is being done.

I can so do that.  It’s been more than a temptation to go over right now, but I’ll at least have the decency to let them do what they need to do.  I have more than enough things to take care of in my studio to keep me occupied all weekend.

Work went well.  The girls were in terrific spirits, we got coffee, I got coffee (the sudden mental picture of S. on coffee gave me the shivers) and then ran around the quad at UCSF for a while.  The weather cooperated and the fog rolled away and we had a lovely sunny day.  I had awesome success at lunch feeding the girls, there was no grandma in-house, no distractions, no soap operas, no Elmo, both girl were focused on eating and it felt really good to have an uninterrupted lunch.

You know you’re a nanny when you’re high fiving yourself for getting your charges to eat spinach, apricots, veggie lasagna, plain yogurt, blue berries, and smashed sweet potatoes.  I was so happy.  Well rounded, lots of color, no processed food. Yay!

They napped.  I sat and crunched numbers.  I knew myself, and I knew I would be unsettled until I asked for a raise.  So, I totalled and added and subtracted and divided and came away with a clear-cut number that I would need to ask for a raise.  Not a manipulated number either, not one where I was padding the raise to milk more money out of my employers, but just a transparent, here’s the deal, here’s the increase in my rent, this is what I need to cover it.

I wrote my three pages long hand.  I planned out my weekend.  I updated my calendar.  Balanced the check book.  Ran my lines.  Which was really funny as I got a text from the director of the show while I was practising my monologue.  She’s all-knowing.  I have to be off book by next Friday’s rehearsal.  And although I’m close, I’m not there yet.

The girls got up, I did weekly laundry, dressed, changed them, fed bottles, sang, danced, did my usual Friday routine.  And did a lot of focusing on my breathing and telling myself that I could indeed ask for what I needed.  And I needed a raise.

I won’t get into the details and how awkward I felt explaining the unexpected plum of an apartment, but, suffice to say, I got the raise.

I got the raise!  Jesus.  This time last week I had no clue that I would be signing a lease on a one bedroom and getting a raise that would cover my increase in rent.  I might have been fantasizing about it, but I don’t even think it was on my radar.  I do recall having the thought as I was walking up to my house with Mr. Sexy last weekend, that it would be nice to have a bigger space so that when I had a date it wasn’t basically right on top of my bed since that is what takes up the most space in my studio.  It’s sort of hard to have a getting to know you date when your bed is less than three feet away from you and your date at any given time.  And looking up reflexively to the chains that hang over the front door entrance to my building–where the sign hangs: “apartment for rent”  when there is a spot available in the building.  But I did not actually think that it was going to happen.

Holy crow.

I left work sort of in a glazed daze of did that just really happen and went and deposited my paycheck into the atm.  Lovely little upgrade that–I really like not having to go to the bank I can just pop to the Bank of America atm and do it all there.  Then off to the Church St. Cafe.  Big hot cup of tea and a reading session with one of the girls.

Then over to do the deal with my friends.  And friends were coming out of the woodwork, ran into people I had not seen in weeks, months, and in one instance over a year.  Had a great time catching up with folks.

I also ran into Robert who broke the news to me that he’s featuring me on his new album, and crediting me in the song title.  It’s going to press, it’s going to be pressed to vinyl and cd and it’ll be available to fucking buy on line.  Good lord, how did this day happen.  And why did I wear eyeliner?

Then Mr. Sexy and I had a little assignation, ahem.  And I get to see him tomorrow, catch dinner and a movie and just chill.  I was a smidge disappointed that I would only catch him for a few hours this evening, but after he told me I had the greatest eyes in the world, I told that silly thought to get the fuck out of my head and enjoy the moment.

A kiss good night and a late night blog entry and the cherry on my sunday has been nibbled down to its sweet core.  What a day.

Wonder what’s going to happen tomorrow?

Tags: , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: