Naked

by

I am all about getting stripped down further.

Naked emotions.

Naked experiences.

Naked face.

Maybe not so much that last one.

I went to the doctor’s today.  Yay!  Having health insurance again is really nice.  I got caught up with my primary care physician, who I just adore.

I have never had a doctor that I adored before her.  Respected, yes, and a few I disrespected as well, but adore?

Nope, just Michelle.

I actually forgot to call her by her honorific–doctor–when I left the visit today.  I rave about her all the time.

I just realized I do know another doctor who I adore to bits, Tami, but she’s not my physician, she’s my darling friend.

Michelle took one look at my eyes and said, “allergic reaction.”

I was not about to argue with her, in fact, I was really glad to hear that it was just an allergic reaction to something in my environment.

I got the run down on how to care for my eyes, including an admonishment to not rub them, dude, that’s super hard.  And she totally knew I had been rubbing them.  She said she could tell from the way the skin looked.

Scary.

I must be rubbing them in my sleep.

She also told me no hot water on my face for a while.  No soap.  No lotion.

And…..

Ugh.

No makeup.

No make up?

Damn it man.

I am just getting into embracing my girly girly parts.  Did you not see the shoes I was rocking yesterday?

But then again, I don’t want to have weird puffy red eyes with peeling skin any longer either, ok, no make up.

No make up until it completely heals.  Then I get to re-introduce one thing at a time back into my repertoire.  It may not be the make up I wear, it probably is some sort of pollen, but until we know for sure, slowly adding things back one by one.

I also got a heavy-duty topical cream to put on my eyes.

Ironically, as soon as I put it on, my eyes looked about one million times better.  My complexion got dewy and when I was telling Tanya about my visit to the doctor, she even said, I was glowing.

I guess I can go without make up for a while.

I do feel a little plain Jane though.

I figure I will have to over compensate on the lip gloss to make up for the lack of being made up.

I also had a few other things checked out and every thing checked out.  I am so blessed to be healthy.  I really am.  I have no complaints about having to have a naked face for a little while.

Naked.

Just saying that word all the associations that come up with it.  Naked bodies, naked emotions, naked implying vulnerable.

What about naked strength?

Or naked intention?

I am working up to being naked to the world.  Transparent.  Alive. Myself.

Which does not mean nude.  I like me some clothes.

I was briefly disappointed to find out that I had gained a few pounds from the last visit to the doctor’s office back in October of last year.  Then I realized, who the hell cares?  I am supremely healthy, and my dress size has not changed in two years.

That is the important thing.  My weight my fluctuate a little here or there, its supposed to, if my dress size started to waffle all over the place, I would be more concerned.  But it has not.  I got a pair of size ten jeans yesterday, along with those fabulous shoes, when I was shopping with Joan.

I had to replace the ones I split on the back of the motorcycle.

I had actually showed up to the doctors visit thinking I may have lost more weight than the last time I was there.  Then I got to see that I still think of myself as some sort of representation of my weight.

But the naked truth is this, I am much more than a pants size or a number on a scale.  And I am damn sexy, make up or no make up.

What makes me sexy?

I am happy.

I am serene.

I can actually be still today.  In fact, I got still twice today.  I had thought I would not have the “time” to sit today and I actually did twice!

I also went grocery shopping, went to the doctor’s office, rode my bike across town, did laundry, wrote, sold off some more books (winnowing down the collection slowly but surely), and I cleaned my place up.

I made my lunch up and I went out on the back porch and I said to myself, the laundry can wait, I had not folded it up yet, the day can wait, the running to the bank can wait (forgot that, I also went to the bank and pulled out rent–the nicest thing–my landlady’s smile when I handed her the envelope of cash.  I obviously made her day!), the cleaning can just wait.

I sat outside on the back deck with a magazine and my lunch and a cup of tea.  I ate my repast, thumbed through the magazine, and then settled my head against the top of the wood railing and closed my eyes.

I sat in the sun.

This is beginning to be a regular thing on my Mondays off–lunch on the deck, and a session sitting in the sun.  The day, warm and still, the ricochet of children’s laughter from the park around the corner, the sound of an airplane flying high over head.

The next thing you know, it’s twenty minutes later.  And I am revitalized.

I ended up cleaning my house and tossing some unneeded items out and sorting through my things.  I re-arranged a few things, made my bed, and put away my laundry.

Heck, I even managed to sit in the cafe for a few minutes with a cup of tea today too.

Not too bad a day.

Nakedly good.

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