Get Me To the Internet!


Slightly frustrated here up in the hills, I cannot connect to the internet.

Come on Universe, don’t you know I need to download True Blood and the newest episode of Breaking Bad.

Really now.

Writing the blog no matter what, so this is just going to live on my computer until the internet comes back up.  If it does not, I’ll post when I get connection or I can take my lap top with me tomorrow into the Mission and hop over to a cafe.

Beth has the keys to my place, she’s moving into the Mission and I am letting her crash at my place until she can move into her new digs.  Funny how things all sort themselves out.

Not having the inter-webs really is the only issue on my day, then that’s not a bad day at all.

Nope.  Not at all.

Time to sit here in the kitchen listening to the Myna Birds and enjoying a little evening snack–ripe organic mango dusted with raw coco powder and pumpkin pie spice, a sprinkle of raw flax seeds and some plain, non-fat yogurt.

Yeah, I know, healthy sounds boring, but it is exquisite.  And a big mug of my favorite tea steaming off to the side.

I just finished taking care of the fish tank, vacuumed out 20 gallons of water, balanced the Ph, replaced the twenty gallons I took out, added some iron to the tank, fed the fishes, gave them a little algae wafer and patted myself on the back.

That is what the instructions said to do, so I did–pat myself on the back, that is.

The cats are fed.  The litter boxes cleaned out.  All my responsibilities to the homestead have been met.

I also cleaned a little, took out the trash and recycling and the compost and did three loads of laundry, striped the bedding, and made the bed.

Not too bad.

And I cooked.

Oh, gorgeousness, having a kitchen.  I miss the cooking, I do, I do.  I made a pot of brown rice and a chicken and shrimp stew with edamame, Big Boy Tomatoes from the Farmers Market, green beans, baby corn, spinach, coconut milk, garlic, sea salt and pepper.

It was lovely to have a hot, home cooked lunch today.  I miss having a kitchen.  I could get used to this real fast.

I will be taking full advantage of having  stove and an oven.  I see big pots of soup in my future.

Yeah, I know it’s July, that’s cold and fog season here in San Francisco, perfect soup and stew weather.  I foresee French red lentil soup will be next on the menu.  I have not made a pot of soup since I left Nob Hill in November.

I had a lot of time reflecting today.  Seeing how far I have come in the last five years.  Five years ago I was house sitting for a former supervisor who lived up in the old hospital on Buena Vista Terrace.  My life has changed so much.

I am still the essential Carmen, but I have been mightily tempered.

I am the better for it.

The best part of it is that I have slowed down.  Yes, I am still a speedy little thing, I still blast about town trying to cram as much as possible into my day, but I have slowed down a lot.

I am able to sit with myself a whole lot better than I have ever been able to do.  I sat today for fifteen minutes meditating.  I used to not even be able to contemplate a three-minute sit, let alone a fifteen minute.

Hell, on Thursday, I did a forty-five minute sit.

Granted there were some special circumstances involved that day, but I can do it.

I was not able to sit for even three minutes yesterday.  I did not quite get my timing down with my morning routine and being in a new space.  I noticed it at work.  I doubt any one else noticed it, but I could tell I was just a touch off my stride.

I just tried the internet again and no go.  I may be just kicking it with a book this evening.  Not a horrible thing, no.

I just picked up a novel next to the bed the night before last, (last night I had internet so I was busy catching up with the blog) about a female detective in Paris.

I have to say I was mostly compelled by the blurb on the back page about the author as I was about the novel itself.

I am not a huge mystery fan, a good one can be engrossing, but they are not typically my first pick.

The brief bio reads, “Cara Black is the author of eleven books in the Aimee Leduck series.  She frequently vistis Paris but lives in San Francisco with her husband and son.”

OH my.

I like the sound of that.

The author, Carmen Martines lives in Paris, but frequently visits San Francisco, where she resided for ten years prior to moving to the Montmartre area of Paris.

Imagine if you will.

I can see it.

It did not hurt that I was re-introduced to John Hall tonight.  Jeannie came up to me tonight and said, “hey, did you see who’s here?”  And she pointed across the room, “John Hall.”

Oh damn.

I knew he was coming to San Francisco, but I thought it was another week or two out.  The French are here in droves, every where I have been in the last few days I have heard French.  Paris is terrifically hot in the summer months and many Parisians escape to the sea-side or to the country, or to the states, especially San Francisco, where the summer is decidedly not summer.

See soup note above.

I met John six years ago through Silas Payne.  Si had introduced us and said, “he’s a good man to know when you move to Paris.”

I still cannot recall how it was that Si knew I wanted to move to Paris, at the time I was in the process of moving out to the Bayview, who the hell would have known it? But it was as though the Universe was looking out for me even before I was acknowledging that I really was going to do this move.

Then I ran into John three years ago May of 2009 when I was visiting Paris, an hour and a half after getting off the plane at Charles De Gaulle International.  I got off the train into the City Center and had some time do kill before heading to my hotel.

I did a little service for him.

“I remember you!  You’re from San Francisco, let’s hear your story.”

Well, ok, I just got off the plane, but yes, of course, I was taught you say yes when asked.  When in Rome, or Paris, as the case may be.

And there he was tonight, eyes twinkling under his white hair, in a bright Kelley green cardigan.  He waved to me from across the room and I could barely sit still I wanted to ask so many questions, even though when I did get to engage with him, I got shy and found it hard to express myself.

I was suddenly face to face with the reality of the situation.

This is really happening.

I went out to dinner with him and Jeannie, Carolyn, Julie, Denise, Kim, Buzz, and Annette.  We took over a big table at the restaurant and I just basked in the personalities of the group.

I also sat with my right hand in my pocket, rubbing a little gem John had given me, a special chip that I will be carrying with me until I get to Paris to give it back to where it came from.

I have a little bit of Paris right now in my pocket.

The fog swirls around Buena Vista and the chill air whispers to me of adventures to come.

I am nervous, excited, exalted and elevated.  I really am elevated, fuck, the bike ride up here is gnarly.

I am living this life to my fullest capabilities and the best is still to come.

Now, pardon me, while I try to get online.





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2 Responses to “Get Me To the Internet!”

  1. Shannon Says:

    Grrrr…. you let us know about the internet!! Next time. You should not sit there for two days. (We can also send you Alex’s computer password). Unless it was meditative. Alas, Alex told me that you all fixed the issue….

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