Slow, Slow

by

Quick, quick.

Shh, slow down, love, you go too fast.

Quick, quick, duck down the Metro stairs and board the train, hustle off to class, you’ve missed two days, go, go, vite!

No, shh, slow, slow, slow.

Gently go forward.

I had to quiet the internal thought process a few times today.

The first was wrestling with getting out of bed and into my morning habit and routine.  The second was the weighing of the two choices, stay or go.

I decided go.

Nose is still congested, I am still sneezy, again so weird, I keep thinking I am having allergies, but I am not allergic to the weather, I am allergic to trees blooming in Spring (oh, sad thought!  Spring may bring me a true allergy season, I had not thought of that, Christ, that is Spring, it’s December, who the hell knows where I am going to be.  Fingers crossed here, I have an idea it may be lovely here in Spring), head still cloudy, I am still sick.

Not sick enough, however, to stay another day indoors.

Another day of laying in bed.

No.

Just could not do it.

I contemplated, then I got a phone call from a darling and I knew I had to get out, get to class and go meet her after for coffee at the Tabac and Cafe de L’Universitie.

Had to.

So, get out, get going, and get it the fuck on.

Wait.

Slow down.

I took my time this morning, I took my time this afternoon.

I did not horse whip myself to do all sorts of things.  I did not work on my book.  I admit it, that was the thing I let go.  My head is not clear enough to do it nor pay enough positive attention to the details–I am editing the grammar and sentence structure as well as the story–and a head cold is not a place to edit from.

Blogging?

I could do it sleepy, sick, cold weather or warm.

Why?

It is a conversation.  I am having a talk with a good friend.  I am telling of my day.

Look!

I went here:

Dusk in the garden

Dusk-Jardin des Tuileries

Is it not stunning?

After class, a very relaxed class for me, I was not trying too hard and I had not completed the homework.

I got along just fine, I normally do, I just let the class happen without much participation.

I found out for certain that my last day of class is Friday.

Unless Euros fall from the sky.

Time is fast approaching for this lady to find work.

I have one week left.

I have one week of cramming in all the Paris I can before I must cram in all the ways I can network and get out there, find work.

I have one week left.  I hope this cold has kicked it by then.  Of course, if it stays the course I could continue down this leisurely path of self-care.  I would take another walk like I did today and see more lovely things.

Oh like this:

The Kiss

The Kiss

I could handle seeing more things of that nature.  Of course, I spent a moment, wistfully taking in the view.

What a view.

View

View

Ahead of me, Rodin’s kiss, a towering Christmas tree lit with giant red globes of light and silver stars.

A droit, to my right, the great Ferris Wheel rotating in the dusk.

Ferris Wheel

Ferris Wheel

 

 

 

 

 

I wanted some one to take my hand and tuck it in his pocket, it is cold out there kids, and walk with me arm and arm along the Quai D’Orsay.

Perhaps to meander over Pont Alexandre and take in the view from there.

Grand Palais

Grand Palais

Across the way we would look out to the Grand Palais and le Petit Palais, which is not so petit.

Or maybe a stroll along the bridge, following the lamps being lit as the light falls away.

Lamp posts

Lamp posts

 

 

 

 

That’s just silliness though.

I can walk myself quite well, and I get to share my pictures here.

So, instead of being wistful, I got glad.

Grateful that I was out walking along the Seine at sunset.

Happy to be healthy enough to take in the sights, the outdoor sites and not the view from my bed, of which there is none–unless you count the stairs going up to Barnaby’s room.

Alive to look.

Look here!

Trident

Trident

Or here!

View

View

There is so much to see.

Besides, who wants to kiss me when I have a head cold?

Better to be alone at this moment.

There is a time for kissing.

There is always a time for kissing.

And won’t it be better when I can walk with the person, show them my sights, the things that make me happy?  Where I went when I was first discovering Paris.

Getting to be here and establish myself and my identity, my writing routine and what I do in between.

There is time and more time.

Nothing worth having happens over night.  There is work to be done, slow work, right now, no need to go quick, quiet work, no need to holler.  Simple work, no need to make it complicated.

I am not saying I want to have another head cold any time soon, but it does soften me up a bit, immobilizing me to the ever-present now and that is a good thing.

Although, I am so glad I did go out today and stretch the legs and get my blood flowing and my lungs taking in fresh air, I will endeavor to remember to not push myself too hard in these next few days.

I want to be completely healthy and full of life for next Tuesday.

I will be coming up on a small milestone, you could say.

Celebrating soon, in an arrondissement near you.

My 40th birthday in Paris.

The Kiss

Rodin’s The Kiss

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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