House Sitting Is NOT

by

A vacation.

In fact, I realized after last night, I really don’t like house sitting.

Oh, the house I am at is lovely and there is nothing wrong, I just did not and have not let myself see how much it is not the best fit for me.

I would rather be in my own place, in my own space and doing sustaining work.

Work that I got just another little more of a taste for today.

I went into the design firm and spoke with my boss, who so does not feel like a boss, which may be part of the reason I love it so much, I love my boss, she’s my friend.

But I also like how the learning is going and seeing myself trying to do new things, trying to learn new things and letting myself believe that new work stuff can be done.

We sat and talked about projects she has coming up and what I can do to be of help to said projects.

I am super excited to be any part of what is happening and despite being told that I don’t need to take out the trash and the recycling, when she left, I did just that.

There is something to be said for cleaning up the space that I will be working in.

The action of tidying it makes me feel good, I know that my friend will be happy to see it clean, and it is my sneaky way of getting into the space more.

When I was not certain what to do at the bike shop I would sweep the floor or re-organize the stock room, straighten the t-shirts, or dust.

The small actions of keeping the space neat not only grounded me into feeling that I was accomplishing something and keeping busy while being paid, it also allowed me to be making a sort of mental inventory of what was in the store.

I am doing the same when in office space.

I am seeing what she sees, I am organizing it in my own brain, I am putting myself in the middle of the space to see what there is to be seen.  I don’t know why this is helpful to me and I don’t need to know why, I just know that being around her and gleaning information from the design studio helps me somehow.

She will be out of the office for the next few weeks and I will be doing a lot of the work remotely.  Some of it, certainly, from here at the house sitting gig.

Some of it at the office.

I don’t need to go into the office to do the work, but I think it will be helpful for me to log some hours there, it will feel like going into a job and I believe that will make me more pro-active until I get used to the feel of working remotely.

I also like the area and I love the space.

I like being back in the same building as the bike shop and seeing the landscape from a different vantage.  I like being in the Mission and I like that I know my way around it.

I like that tomorrow I am going to meet up with another dear friend and go see her house and see the in-law she has.  See if it may be a better fit for me than the space I was offered in the Bay View.

I am leaning toward the beach offering more so than the Bay View offering.

Partially as I have never lived out by the beach.

I have lived in the Bay View.

It’s sunny.

It’s in San Francisco.

But it is still Bay View/Hunters Point.

Besides when your girl friend says, “there’s not a bath in the studio, but I am putting in a deck and a hot tub in the back yard that you can use,” well, that right there beckons like nobody’s business.

Cold foggy night?

Who cares.

Let’s hot tub!

The idea of being settled down is a nice one for me.  Really get myself planted and put and work on furthering what feels like a legitimate career for me.

I have a lot of work ahead of me, I don’t deny it, and I can stop the fantasizing around it.

I realize that, I heard it recently, ‘I want the reward without doing the work’.

I want to be in a career without having learned the ropes, here’s your opportunity.

I want to be fit and healthy without having to think about what I am eating.

Another problem with house sitting, “help yourself to the food.”

NO.

Not a good idea for me and yet, every time I go rifling through, neglecting to properly take care of myself and being ok with microwave popcorn for dinner instead of healthful food.

So today, to celebrate access to a car I made a run on Rainbow Grocery and spent nearly $100 on good wholesome (not all vegan) food.  I plundered the stone fruit–yellow nectarines, black plums, two different kinds of apples–organic Fuji’s and Pink Lady’s, Japanese sweet potatoes, organic raw carrots (great for snacking on with humus–man why did it take me so long to find humus, my tasty new friend), organic Roma tomatoes, Coconut and raw chocolate tea, Stump Town Holler Mountain coffee in the whole bean, Nancy”s low-fat cottage cheese, Judy’s extra-large brown organic eggs, Ezekiel sprouted grain English muffins, one yellow zucchini, one green zucchini, and bananas.

Excellent.

I am willing to keep house sitting here and there until I get into my own place.

But after that, I think I am going to pass on doing it.

Although, it really is nice to be trusted by your peers, your friends, your families.

I mean you should see all the keys on my key chain right now!

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