What Was In That?


I hung out with my friend Calvin today and we both decided that lunch sledge hammered us into stupidity.

Either that or trying to figure out how the barista at Blue Bottle in the Mint Plaza knew my name and was so happy to see me that he introduced me to his co-worker than pulled him aside and said, “these two are on me.”

I mean Cal and I fried our brains trying to figure it out.

Maybe it was the lunch.

Maybe it was the wind.

Maybe it was the time of day, but by the time we left the coffee-house we were both light-headed and tired.

What was in that food?

I had the Brazilian version of Jambalaya and some greens.  It was tasty and I put some hot sauce on it and as I was telling Calvin, hunger is the best spice, but I did wonder as I felt dazed all day long if maybe they didn’t sneak some MSG into that shit or something.

It was actually a good talking point for me to go over as I leave for playa two weeks from tomorrow.

Two weeks!

How will I handle what I eat out there?

Well, I do have some experience and I discussed it tonight and laid out a plan and that felt really good.  In fact, I got accountable for things this evening and having that accountability to another person is right where I need to be.

I felt lighter and safer and better taken care of than I have in months.

Speaking of months.

Today marks three months since the return from Paris.


It feels like I am finally getting my bearings, of course, as I have been writing a lot about it, I feel like I have been getting reconnected with my friends and my community and having that is so important.

Having friends that know me and can support me and call me on my shit and just laugh with and hang out, how important people are to me.

I just cannot be an island.

I want to be.

But I cannot.

I have to engage and interact and, well, I got to hug it out sometimes.

Lots of hugs today.

I will be heading back to the city tomorrow to take care of a little more Burning Man prep work.  I went by the bike shop today before meeting Calvin for lunch and I got my saddle and made a time to have it put on my bike tomorrow.  I am excited to see what it looks like and happy that I am doing this for my experience.

Then after I deal with the bike a nanny gig up in the Castro and after I will go to Cole Valley and crash out at my Burning Man families house, come in through the garage and sneak into the guest bedroom.

Mom said it was cool and it will make helping them out a lot easier.

I did not want to work until 11pm take the BART back to the East Bay then get up at 6:30 a.m. and head back into the city to go nanny in Cole Valley.

I would not be a happy girl come Saturday.

So, just going to circumnavigate that and stay over night.

I’ll be packing an overnight bag tomorrow, then, and getting down to business.

What ever was in the food has worn off and I am wide awake now, and I feel connected, re-connected, taken care of and grateful.

I also know that I am really where I am supposed to be.

I called a friend tonight as I was waiting for the Dublin/Pleasanton BART train and we chatted to each other about the things we were going through and how we cope and I am amazed that I have people like this that I can call and check in with, that love me and I them.

My blog is a rambling little blog tonight.

I have about eighteen things going through my brain but none of them seem pertinent to the topic’s presented.


I got called “absolutely beautiful” while I was riding my bike past the Mission Police department from a gentleman out the rolled down window of a vintage yellow Ford pick up and I a want to go on Craigslist missed connections and see if he posted.

I had a friend on facecrack flirt with me and that made me think of perhaps dating him.

I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

I found a hat box at Mission Community Thrift that I am thrilled to have scored for $3.50 and I will pack it full of Burning Man gear.

I go to Burning Man in two weeks.

I know I have said that already, I guess that is the focus.


Make out.


Oh, dancing around the elephant in the room, will I or won’t I have sex at the event.

I don’t know.

But I do want some make out please.

I haven’t been kissed since the Giants won the last World Series (thank God it wasn’t the Cubs).

I can’t wait to see what my bike looks like tomorrow.

I want to watch the next episode of Orange is the New Black.

Get down with this series, it is fucking good.

I got a note from the Bastille, the magazine in Paris that published my short story, and they are sending me a copy.

I had an idea for another short story while riding the BART tonight, note to self, sketch that out before you forget it.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty, and witty and bright.

I was reminded of Susan Sarandon and now I want to watch White Castles.

I really want to go on a date.

I am almost at 1,000 words and my rambling little piece can go to bed.

Nobody on So You Think You Can Dance is as fabulous as they were last season, but they ain’t too bad.

I need to get a hair cut next week before Calvin leaves for a convention in Southern Cali.


That’s it folks.

My day, my thoughts, my weird.

All for you.

Good night.

Sleep tight.

Don’t let the bedbugs bite.

(they got those coverings now for your mattress, get you one)

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