REALLY uncomfortable

My shoulder is acting up with a vengeance.

It hurts mom.

Make it stop.


I went really easy today and that does not seem to matter.  I went to the beach.  I sat in the dunes.  I talked to my friend Joan on the phone and caught up while watching the surfers swim and slide along the waves, out past the break point and into the sun.

I over heard the chatter of the surfers coming out of the water, comparing differences in boards and rides, waves, and swells.

I did not understand everything that was said, but I am learning.

So much to learn.

Always the learning.

I mean I did not leave the neighborhood at all.

I did get on my bicycle and ride out to the Sloat Garden Center, I wanted to see what they had and just sort of explore and I was feeling a little restless on my last day of “staycation” feeling like I had to do something.

Apparently the had to do something was had to take it easy and gobble ibuprofen.


It flares up too when I am at my laptop so I am sitting on the chaise with pillows behind my shoulder and my laptop propped up on top of my copy of Clockers.

I sat outside a lot today.

Sitting, if you can tell, being a major component of today.

I sat and meditated in the back yard, the neighbors very large black cat sunning itself next to me, the heavy almost oily rustle of ravens flapping over my head and the soft roar of the ocean my accompaniment.

I sat on the tree at Trouble and met new folks in the neighborhood.

One gentleman and his three-year old daughter, who was playing with my housemates daughter in front of Trouble Coffee, and I struck up a conversation about living in the area, Ocean Beach feeling like its own small town beach community rather than a big urban city.

Turns out he is an avid surfer and we talked surfing and getting in the water and what I can work on while I am get my connections together to go out with people.

“Just go out when it’s mellow,” he said, “like it was early in the week last Sunday and Monday, baby swells.”

I knew exactly what he was talking about, I was in that mild water.

“Next weekend is supposed to be quite similar,” he added, “just get in your wet suit and body surf, get used to being in the water, you don’t need to go far out, just go waist-high or chest high and get the feel of the water, then grab a boogie board.”


This is what I want to hear.

He talked waves and swells and lost me a bit, but just watching his long arms and fingers transcribe the roll of a wave and when he turned his body as though he was falling into a trough I could suddenly see him in the water buoyant and long.

“Rubber floats,” he said, “you don’t have to worry about getting pushed down either, you’re just going to pop right back up, just keep yourself waist to chest high in the water and have fun.”


Later, sitting in the dunes, then reclining in them, I did decide I was going to at least walk the beach a little, it’s pretty obvious that I can’t get into the water right now, it’s a challenge maneuvering my bicycle right now let alone a surf board, but I can walk for fuck sakes.

Not fast and not with my bag strapped full, but gentle, slow, a meander along the shore.

Sand Dune

Sand Dune

Blue Water

Blue Skies

Boogie Board Lesson

Father and daughter

I watched a father instruct his daughter how to watch the tide come in and he stood and pointed to where the sand bar was and how the waves broke around it.

He admonished her to pay attention and then finally stood back and let the water lap at his feet while she frisked about in the waves.

It was sweet to watch and to catch the overhead snatches of conversation.

I don’t have the benefit of starting this practise at a young age, getting into the water, swimming in the ocean, surfing, heck, I haven’t gotten in with the boogie board yet either, but I do have the perspective of allowing myself to learn.

Even where I not learning I am still getting to be a part of this community in a way that I find deeply satisfying.

Welcoming and slow, serene, sun saturated.

I am counting myself lucky too that the winter has so far not really been winter.

“I don’t even tell my friends back home what the weather is like here,” my friend said earlier as I was marvelling at the fact it is December 1st and I was down at the beach in my flip-flops, with my pants rolled up, sun beaming on my face, breeze cool but not cold.

I saw a photograph of my aunts on her facecrack page and it was basically an exclamation about how the ice is hard enough to fish from.


The ice on the lake is frozen through enough by December 1 to hold up ice shanties.


And back to the beach.

Which I will be going to again and again, I hazard, I mean, its right there.

I can hear the ocean now, I have the door to the studio cracked open a bit.

As I am sitting here I am thinking that I am going to be investing in some sort of ergonomic set up for my work on my laptop.

And for my hand writing, those three pages have not been comfortable recently.

I suspect that another part of the problem is how I am sitting, I don’t think that the table I am at is a good height, it’s not a work desk and the chair is not a work chair, I am just working with what I have.  I need to do some investigating and perhaps get a different set up.

Pain is a good way to learn what works and doesn’t work for you.

“How you feeling about that?” She asked.

“A little hurt, but happy to know now, good information to have, you know, I can’t make anyone want to spend time with me, I am just glad I know and get to move forward.”

“Your life is so full too,” she said.

It is, sometimes uncomfortable, but always full.

Even with the six days off, even with a lot of down time, I still did attend to a lot of things and I got to the beach so often this week it did feel like I was on vacation.


Hi there.

You snuck right on in when I was busy thinking about my back.

Hello there.

Let’s be friends.

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