It’ll Be A Blue Christmas

by

With our without you.

I put up my tree today!

Rode over to Sloat Garden Center and got a small blue fir and I decided I would go with blue lights, channel me some Elvis.

Blue Hawaii.

Blue Christmas.

Beach holiday.

Despite it being really quite too cold out there for me to want to go surfing, I am still a beach bum with a beach cottage style Christmas thematic happening.

I remember when a friend said my house looked like it was a store.

I like things, well, just so.

I know this stems from some childhood trauma crap, but you know what?  I’ll fucking take it.  I like my space tidy and pretty and sweet-smelling and if it looks like a store, that’s not a bad thing, it means my little space has some personality.

My tree certainly does.

It makes me stupid happy.

Or so I related to a friend via text earlier.

I had left to run an errand for my housemate whose little girl has been awful sick, and when I got back and opened the door to my studio I just about broke my face grinning.

Just that was worth the fifty bucks I dropped on the evergreen.

I am really glad I got this for myself.

I needed to do so.

I am really glad I am doing a lot of things, these days for myself.

Also on the list of why my day was fabulous, yoga.

That’s right.

I may not have gone surfing today, I will, don’t you worry, but I did get up early and go to yoga.

I had a lovely invitation to go ecstatic dancing in Berkeley with two of my favorite ladies, but when I was invited to go to the yoga studio that is two blocks away from my house, I did.

Rather than get on my bike and ride 40 minutes to a BART station to hop a train over to Berkeley.

I am sure that I would love to do some dancing, I really would, but the cold, versus the convenience of being right by the studio, well, I got my ass up and went when I got the text to get a move on from my housemate, who was and has been advocating that I get my butt to yoga since I moved in.

It was a challenging class.

I don’t know all the poses, that’s for sure, but I was honest about it being basically my first time.  I did mention that about six years ago I did a week of Bikram, but that’s it.

It was not a beginners class, but I stayed in the mix and I was so grateful to be moving and stretching, the studio got bright morning sunlight and I warmed up quick, breaking into an easy sweat, but not hot, just pleasantly toasty, about twenty minutes in.

I got some amazing stretching in and I discovered that my hips were extraordinarily tight.  I have always had tight hips, but I had no idea.

“Bike riding, I am actually working on a yoga class specifically for bicyclists,” the yoga instructor told me when we were chatting after class.

She expressed some surprise at my ability in the class, hell, I think I expressed some surprise myself, not that I was on par with any of the other folks in the class, but I got through it without dying and when I could not do a pose, the forearm head stand, not happening at this time (apparently it takes a lot of time to master anyhow, years was what I heard from the instructor), I just dropped into Child’s Pose.

By the end of it when the class was lying on the floor and we were all deep breathing, the sun warming the wood floor, the mat under my body distinct to my touch, so present and in my body, I just opened completely up.

Yup.

Tears.

But good tears.

Cathartic.

Soft, heavy, slow, rolling down my face as I envisioned the gold in the water at my feet, the treasure of the present, the waters still around me, the instructor was talking about how we have so much and we get in our own way and the ripples disturb the view and the clarity of the still water.

When we sit still and let the mind calm and be present in the body, the ripples settle and when we look down we can see the treasure like gold just at our feet.

I could see it.

I could feel it.

I could comprehend how blessed my life is.

I envisioned myself rising out of my body and getting up and giving my housemate a hug and saying thank you for getting me out of bed and into the studio.

I am beyond lucky to have friends that advocate for me.

Here, go surfing with me.

Hey, lady, come to yoga with me.

Yes please.

The classes are small and the studio is petite, but that is perfect for me and as I spoke with the teacher and another instructor after class I see how easily it will be to fall right into a yoga practice.

Heck, it’s just two blocks away.

Even once a week will help, I can see that.

My next class is free on the studio, beginners get a free class after their first, so I will go try another style this week and see what I like and then I will probably buy myself a ten pack and get myself to the studio once a week to start.

Ease into it.

I just looked up from my keyboard and smiled.

My tree is sparkling in the light, the blue bulbs make me grin like an idiot.

I got two colors of blue, tiny bright indigo lights and the bigger ceramic bulbs that look like they are aquamarine.

My tree matches my bedspread matches my kitchen table, matches my plates and bowls and matches the bookcase.

Aquamarine up in here.

It is a Blue Christmas for sure.

However, it is certainly not a sad one.

So full of love today.

For my home, my life, my Christmas.

Happy holidays my friends.

Get out there and spread some cheer.

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