Zoom Zip, and I Wake Up

by

Zoom zip.

Waking up in someone elses bed is always a little disconcerting, especially with Stella staring you in the face.

“Hey lady, time to eat,” her great big eyes seemed to be saying.

I am house sitting for friends and they have a gorgeous girl orange tabby.

With really big eyes.

Spooky eyes, like she can see right through me.

Yesterday was an interesting day and I hopped out of bed ready for another different day, a day totally outside my routine, a day when I don’t know if I am coming or going or a little bit of both.

“You have to surrender to what’s happening,” she said to me on the phone as I walked hand in hand with my charge through Cole Valley.

Another anomaly to add to the day.

Being in Cole Valley, I never nanny in Cole Valley on Fridays, but since I had my birthday off this Wednesday I was asked to cover there, then hop on my bike, whiz-bang and hit it to the Castro, where I do normally nanny.

Funny thing?

I am house sitting at the border of the Mission/Castro neighborhood.

I rode out of the hood to Cole Valley and then turned around and rode right back.

Yeah, definitely a little discombobulated.

Sometimes, though, I think, when I get off-balance, it allows for serendipity to happen, chance to break out, luck falls like bright copper pennies, or a surprise Christmas tree done up with garland and bows, baubles and bulbs, on the corner of 19th and Noe, love falls into the between times, and magic happens.

That is the attitude I am taking today.

Not necessarily the attitude that I took last night when I couldn’t get online and things weren’t as I expected them to be at the house and I had to leave as soon as I dropped off my bag of overnight stuff and fed the cat.

I headed back out into the night, got myself some dinner and made a grocery list.

“We’ll have the fridge stocked for you!” He said with great enthusiasm.

Well, it was stocked, but not really with things that either a.) appealed or b.)things that I could eat.

Mostly that last one.

Though, praise the sweet baby jesus, they do have plenty of coffee beans, a good grinder, an excellent drip cone and REALLY big mugs.

They, too, must like their coffee.

In hindsight, I am very grateful for the turn of yesterdays events which led me to unexpectedly get up a half hour early and pack up my overnight bag, take a super hot shower, and have a good solid breakfast.  It made it that much easier to leave straight from my nanny gig in NOPA and go right to their place.

So, when I did have to turn around and head back out, it was just to Church and Market, not to Ocean Beach.

No insignificant thing.

I had dinner at Crepevine, headed up to Our Lady of Safeway, met my fellows, got my head on straight, then went to the new Whole Foods on Market and Dolores.

Another thing to be grateful for, the new WholePaycheck, which saved me the trip to Rainbow.

Although, I do think I will still make a sojourn over to Rainbow, it’s been sometime, but I don’t have to unless I want to.

Perhaps a little something special for Christmas dinner?

Can’t imagine what, food is comfort and nourishment for me, no longer indulgence.

I am usually just as happy, if not more so, to eat my regular meals and my regular diet then to celebrate the season with some extra helpings of rich food.  The comfort I get from not obsessing about what I am going to eat and how much or how little of said food, is of very high value to me.  I would much rather make the celebrating about the people in my life, rather than the food.

Besides I have baked enough holiday cookies for a lifetime, anyone who knew me from 1992-2002 can attest to that.

I made so many cookies that decade I could be covered for not only this life, but probably another six.

“Well,” she continued, as I crossed Frederick Street at Cole with my little charge this morning, “it sounds a lot like me, pack in as much as I can so I don’t have to feel.”

Ah.

See, I was thinking that I was fending off economic deprivation by saying yes to the house sitting.

But, I can see, that though there is some veracity in that, what is certainly more telling, is my response to that perspective.

Fuck.

Fuck me.

I don’t want to feel.

I don’t want to be lonely at Christmas, my family spread far and away, my friends doing their family things, the town emptying out, the quiet in the air, despite the prodigious hum of commerce in certain neighborhoods, the city is already far more quiet than is typical, so I didn’t think or reflect when asked, “would you housesit?”

I just said yes.

I know better.

I need to pause and let the information settle and get back to the person.

John Ater chuckled at me, “slow down! Breathe, there’s nothing wrong, you got your information, and now you know.”

“Besides, you’re getting paid to make mistakes, not everyone can say that, now can they?”

How true.

I received my compensation via Paypal this morning, managed to get online, and now, as I sit in the hills above the city thinking about the rest of my time at 18th and Dolores I think it’ll be just fine.

It will be outside the routine and I will be in the Mission for Christmas.

Which, really, when you think about it is pretty fabulous.

Christmas in San Francisco.

It has a nice ring to it.

 

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