*Written last night, internet down, posting today.

I cannot tell you how many people I called cunt in my head tonight, today, this afternoon, as I rode my bicycle about town.

I suppose it had something to do with having to go to Traffic Court, or it could be that Mercury is rising.

Is that a band name?

I have no idea why I was in a snit, but snit I have been in.

Adding insult to injury, the goddamn Internet is down.

I want a reduction in my utility bill!

That’s where my brain goes first.  Then maybe it goes elsewhere, like, I should just move.  Nothing says dramatic over reaction than that.

I don’t want to move, I do want to get online and the shitty connection is always a little shitty, but I think the landlord has issues with it as well, it’s not like it’s just me.

My perspective is that it’s always about me, I am being thwarted, I shake my hand at the internet gods, get your act together, motherfuckers, I have stuff to do online, blogs to post,  facecrack to troll, videos to download, I have things to do, dontcha know.

Nothing about today seemed to go my way, though, truth be told, and I am a truthful person, nothing really went wrong, it was just a compilation of small annoyances, like that kid in middle school who never has a pencil or a piece of paper or the book for the class and always wants to borrow yours and you just keep handing out the stuff, until you pop the day he asks for a pencil.

That’s what today felt like.

Nothing is wrong, but everything is bugging me.

I know that means I am the asshole, but I could not seem to get out-of-the-way of the thoughts.

And that is just how it goes sometimes, you just have a day, dinner was not great, but I ate, I got a manicure, but they did a crap job, I went to Traffic Court and decided to plead no contest.

I just did not want to have to go to 850 Bryant again.

I was done with it.

I was done with it before I got there even though I was trying to have a good attitude and show up and be polite, which I was, I was nice, no body knew that my brain was eating me alive, I was polite as home-made apple pie with sharp cheddar cheese melted on top and vanilla ice cream on the side.

I mean, polite.

The time at the 850 started with a perspective altering moment and I guess I just keep coming back to that, no matter how off kilter I feel, I was not feeling as off kilter as the woman I ran into in the bathroom at ye olde Hall of Justice.

She was having a bad day.

That’s about all I could surmise, I did not stay to have a conversation about it.

I did think about telling a cop I saw in the hallway, then I was like, isn’t it bad enough, do I need to make her life worse?

It can’t be a good day when you’re naked in the bathroom on the first floor of 850 Bryant.

No need for me to compound it because you and your nakedness got in the way of me using the toilet.

“Jesus!” I exclaimed and back out, literally backwards, looking to flag over the cop sitting on a bench in the hallway.

Then I paused.

Who am I?

No body special, just another person in line at Traffic Court trying to reduce their fine.

I am not the cops and I don’t need to police anyone’s behavior.

After that, though I wanted to be upset about the situation, I really couldn’t be.

I mean, I got off easy is how I figure.

My life is nowhere near that bad.

And it hasn’t been in sometime.

When I got home tonight I just took out the reduced fine paperwork–$115 from $197—and filled out the check, stuck it in the envelope and sealed it.

I slapped a Christmas stamp on it, can you tell how often I use the postal system, and it’s ready to go out in the mail tomorrow.

I balanced my checkbook and it’s done.

No more work to be missed.

No more fines to be paid.

I even got out of there faster than I thought I would and tried to go over to the DMV to stake out a place in line and try to take the written test for the motorcycle license.

But when I saw the line snaking out into the parking lot, I said, “fuck that.”

And I got back on my bicycle and hit it to 7th and Irving.

I got a manicure.

I had my eyebrows waxed and tended to like the wild little garden they are.

I had a spot of tea.

I sat for an hour and got right with God.

I still wanted to smack people while I was riding my bike home, but I took it slow and navigated the Friday night crazy parking mess of Irving and got back without incident or further traffic tickets.

I contemplated running out to the market on my bike, and then realized that I was not in the best mood, not in the mental space to be on my steed any longer.

Sometimes it’s better to just make do with what’s in the fridge than venture out further, I parked the bike in the garage and called it a day.

I still don’t have any Internet, but I do have a blog written and I do have a teacup with some tea and a nice apple to be had, and I made it through the day.

Perhaps not as gracefully as I would have liked.

But at least I was clothed for it.

Small miracle, that.

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