Well, I Did It


I crashed the scooter.

That didn’t take too long.


I didn’t harm it, too badly, it will need some body work, the front fender needs to be popped out a little bit.  I pulled it out with my hand, but it needs a touch of attention and some re-shaping.

I got more hurt than the scooter.

And it hurts, but it’s not deadly.

I crashed it starting it.

It’s sort of like breaking your leg falling up stairs.

After my friend came over the other day and showed me how to prime the scooter, I was ready for it.

Ready to ride it out and get up and over those hills to Noe and 19th for work today.

Considering all the crashing that could have gone on today, I am tremendously grateful that I am not worse injured or the scooter totaled, or the car I drove over the Golden Gate Bridge to The Discovery Museum in Fort Baker over on the Sausalito side, and back, was not hit.

I had a near heart attack when a car careened through an intersection I was crossing through and nearly hit me.

It weaved off and I felt every hair on my body stand straight up.

Not sure what was the issue, I was fully in the clear, green light all the way, I don’t even care to dwell on it.

I will be dwelling on my scooter crash.


I didn’t even want to admit to it, but I find that I cannot hide things here, I have tried to edit my posts to make me seem more amazing and you know, that just never works.

I fucked up.

It was not on purpose, I flooded the scooter in the Whole Foods Parking lot in the Upper Haight.

I was heading back from a speaking engagement at Our Lady of SafeWay and was happy to be out and about, primed to swing by the Whole Foods on the way home, grab some apples, a few bananas, some almond milk.

I parked.

I was golden.

I got over excited by the priming lesson my friend had given me and gave it too much gas.

At least this was what I was to come to find out.

I called said friend.

No answer.

I tried starting again, not realizing that I was compounding the problem by rolling the throttle again, thus effectively, flooding it some more.

I got  a hold of Barnaby, who is a Vespa aficionado and owns a couple he stores down in San Jose at his mom’s place.

He told me I had most likely flooded it and walked me step by step what to do.

I had also called another friend, who turns out was in Seattle setting up for a dj gig.

“Carmen, I have one thought for you,” he told me two weeks ago while he and I were standing at the curb with Barnaby admiring it, “may you lay it down soon, gently, softly, and with little or no harm to you or the scooter.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Oh you scoff, but everybody lays down their scooter or motorcycle at least once, get it out-of-the-way sooner rather than later,” he finished.  “She’s a beauty, may you ride her a long, long, long time.”

I am so special and terminally unique, I was not going to believe him, I won’t lay it down, that’s not going to happen to me, nope, I don’t need to have that experience.

Thank you very much.

Apparently, I am no different from anyone else.

She got laid down tonight and I got drug.


Here’s the embarrassing bit, but again, I know better than to be too chagrined, I didn’t get badly hurt, I got the scooter started, I laid it down and got that nasty bit of business out-of-the-way.

My ego might be more bruised than my leg.


I am going to have an awful bruise on my left thigh.

It’s like, dented.

After following Barnaby’s instructions and doing some praying  to the powers that be, I went to start it.

And it almost started!

I was so excited.

I was also rushed, which I can see in this tiny bit of hindsight probably helped aid in my little wreck, the security guard was closing up the parking lot at Whole Foods and had wanted me to move earlier, I explained what was happening, and he was cool, but doing his job.

He startled me while I was praying and I got on to getting it on.

I kicked it again and the engine caught and I gave the throttle some gas.

Which was the wrong thing to do.

I don’t know how, I really don’t, but it had slipped into first, that is the clutch was in first, not in neutral.

When I gave it gas, it responded.

It leapt forward with me dragging behind it.


Then, it stopped, abruptly.

Two reasons.


I hit a light pole.

Oh, dear sweet Jesus.

It’s true.

I hit the fucking light pole.

I hopped the curb, rode rough shod through some bushes and bonked on the light pole.

I was still holding onto the scooter, I rolled off the throttle, held the front brake and I don’t know how or why or where, but I heard clearly, “use the kill switch.”

I looked up, pushed the kill switch, and the scooter stopped running.

I tried to roll it back, but it was stuck in the wood chips around the bush.

I laughed, perhaps a bit maniacally, and pulled it back through the wood chips and onto the pavement.

Well, it’s not flooded now.

But the front fender was bent in.

And what ever I rammed my leg on, scooter or curb or bush or who knows, dug into my thigh bad.

I took three ibuprofen upon entering my domicile (while I silently debated keeping this whole story to myself, ego, ego, ego) and pulled down my leggings to look at the dented part of my left thigh.

I bruised the muscle bad.

I am not riding my scooter tomorrow–I want to make sure that I take care of the dent and just have it checked out to make sure that I didn’t do it worse damage (it rode home fine, fyi, but still)–and I don’t know if I will be riding my bicycle.

I am limping when I am walking.

But I am walking.


Let me assure you, it could have been worse, accidents happen, I learned, albeit in a harder way than I wanted to, to slow down and let things run their natural course.

Because when I force things, well, they can get out of my hands quickly.

Here’s to the Universe making it real clear.

I will be slowing down the rest of the weekend.

Thanks for the prompting.

And for not having me lay my scooter down in traffic.

I mean, if I am going to lay it down, what better way, really, then in a bunch of wood chips and a bush.

This will make a very funny story soon.

I can feel the humility working its magic as I type.

Or maybe it’s just the ibuprofen.

Come on!

It is pretty funny.

I ran into a light post at Whole Foods.

Damn it man.

And with just a tiny hint of perspective, let me give myself some props.

I got back on it.

I wheeled it out of the parking lot, started it up, and got back on the proverbial horse.

I will give myself some props for that.

Yes I will.

Sore, dented, bruised props.

But props nonetheless.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: