The Shower of Madness


While it was not the best shower I have ever had.

It was certainly not a bad shower.

On the scale of one to ten I give it a six.

It did the job.

But I have to say I was a little too frantic to really enjoy it.

In fact, I feel rather full adrenaline, even now.

The desire to unload, unpack, and de-playafy myself was in full on force when I got dropped off at the house tonight around 9:15 p.m.

In fact, if I pause, in this moment to reflect, the last hour and a half have been a whirl wind of activity.

Perhaps to not let myself have the decompression feelings that threatened to engulf me when I walked into my sweet little studio and nearly burst into tears.

I missed my space so bad and I had no idea.

I mean.

Really bad.

I was only gone 19 days, but it felt like an eternity and it even now, feels like a dream.

I mean, this morning I woke up early, 6:30 a.m. and watched the sunrise for the second time since I had been on playa.  Apropos, it was my last day and the first sunrise I caught was my first morning.

It’s hard to believe I am actually here and that I actually went.

I am clean.

My clothes are unpacked and I have already done one and a half loads of laundry.

I unpacked my four bins.

One of which is going to the trash pile as it broke in the exodus of the event.

Which, by the by, was the best and easiest exodus I have ever had.

It was like a dream of exiting goodness.

As I mentioned, I was up at 6:30 a.m.

I finished the little packing I hadn’t done yesterday, got dressed, made the bed, baby wipe bathed, lotion’ed, sunblock’ed, and twisted my very playa’d hair up into two big pouf buns.

I can barely stop touching my hair, it’s so soft and sweet and smells lovely and good–so unlike the scary dread like mess it was when I first got into the shower.

The shower that I will probably appreciate a lot more tomorrow when I take another.

Then another on Thursday.

Just because I can.

Just because I won’t have to ask to borrow a vehicle to drive three miles across town to use a co-ed shower stall with janky plastic curtains and tepid water and slimy floors.


More showering, yes.

Besides, I travel soon to New York and I don’t want to carry any dusty with me.

I am thrilled to bits that we got back today and I have the time to sort my things, wash my clothes, go tomorrow over to Cole Valley, pick up my paycheck for the event and go have a long, leisurely manicure and pedicure and a great big old iced coffee.

Then probably another shower.

Because I can.

I just took another gander around my home and it is so lovely to be here.

I also realized that this is the first time in two burns that I have a home to come home to.

Last year I came home to Graceland, which was my dear spot and a lucky landing pad for me to have, it was also my landing pad the previous burn, before I left for Paris.

So, for two years I have been in a kind of limbo after returning from the anxiousness of the desert life.

Not so this year.

This year I came home to a clean home, a made bed, a warm and sweet welcome from my housemate who said, “I’ll hug you tomorrow, now strip.”

I didn’t even walk into my house until I had taken off my boots and pulled off all my clothes.  I put my dusty bits in the wash machine and then I took my toiletries inside and got myself right under the hot water.

While, as I said, it was not the best shower, I felt a little maniacal scrubbing at myself and trying to loosen the playa dreadlocks in my hair, it was with great gratitude that I came home.  That I made it home.

That I did not break out there.

I was tempted last night to go out after I got back from a sunset bicycle ride, there was a great big party happening down the block, some folks had apparently not heard that Burning Man had ended, and it was going off.

But I kept myself in the little trailer and made myself stay put.

So glad I did.

I would have been a wreck driving today.

We left the playa in two rental vehicles that the Placement Team had used to help place the 1250 theme camps that were registered this year for the event.

One had to be returned to Reno and the other would be our ride back to San Francisco.

In fact, I still have  a little dustiness to deal with.

The rental goes back tomorrow and when I go to pick up my paycheck from the family, I am going to help the mom by following her to the rental place so she can drop off the mini van and then ride back to Cole Valley and head to the nail salon.

I am just going to repeat, nail salon, foot bath, another shower, wash, rinse, repeat, and then maybe a small trip to the grocery store to get nibbles for the next day or two until I fly out for my whirlwind tour of New York.

Then back to SF.


I have discovered I will have a couple of days off from work, unexpected and though I was a bit concerned about not having income coming in, I would rather have the down time to gather my wits, perhaps, I don’t know, get grounded, walk around my neighborhood, go down to the beach.

And ride my bicycle.

I’ll ease back into my San Francisco life.

And yes.

Have another shower.

Or fifteen.

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