You Sound Exhausted



That sounds about right.

Although, of course, now that I am at home and the door is open to the ocean air and the night is young, well, you know, I’ve got a second wind.


When I chatted with my friend earlier I had just pushed a heavy stroller to Juri Commons in the heat of the afternoon and was pretty beat just from that, let alone the week, which did in spots kick my ass.

Today was a great deal better for me though.

The mom and I conferred more and we are on the same page with what I do and am doing and they are super happy and I am happy and I also don’t have to be a crazy perfectionist and make things always just so.

I can let some things slide.

Not the boys safety or well-being, of course, but if I don’t fold the laundry until tomorrow, that’s going to be ok.

They are thrilled and I am thrilled.

Although I wasn’t much thrilled when I received my electronic notice about my direct deposit.

Holy shit.

They took a lot out for taxes.

Then again, I claimed zero, knowing that I wanted them to take the most out.  I always look at it as a forced savings account–claim zero dependents they take the biggest chunk, then there’s usually a little I get back at tax time.

It’s a chunk, but I am happy to be above-board, completely legit, not sneaking anything by anyone.  It feels right and I didn’t really feel or have any drama when I saw my paycheck.

On one hand I am making less than when I was working my three previous nanny gigs (they didn’t take out taxes), on the other, I am making more.

Plus I get a health insurance stipend and a lot of paid days off.

I have paid vacation galore.

I got the holiday calendar today for the days I will get paid off in the next year, holidays that the dad gets with his job, and they total, not the standard 5 I am used to, but.

Wait for it.


Fourteen paid holidays.

I was blown away.

For instance I get Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and the day after Christmas as paid days off–normally I have just gotten Christmas day off, or just Thanksgiving, I get the day after Thanksgiving off as well.


I am thrilled.

This is on top of the two weeks paid vacation I get as part of my package.

And when I was checking in with the mom today about the insurance she said we’re going to cut you a check for this month and for last month too.


I wasn’t even fully employed with them last month.

But they are going to give me a back month of health insurance.

Right the fuck on.

I feel super appreciated and I really like them.

It’s a good fit and I feel that I can grow with the family as they grow too.

I feel like I can have this job for a while, that it will be a great segue into graduate school; especially since I want to be working, but can’t work full-time when I am in school.

The little guy today had a great nap and I was able to get all the household stuff taken care of far ahead of schedule.

So I sat down after my lunch and I did my spending plan for October having tallied up my September expenditures, and I saw clearly that though the income is slightly less, it is enough.

And it’s stable.

I wasn’t sure week to week last year if I was going to have full-time work and often times I would have to pick up weekend shifts or part-time gigs here and there to cover my costs.

The income is stable.

I know exactly how much I can count on.

And with the health insurance stipend and the cash that I will get paid if I work over 40 hours, which I did this week, I am quite nicely taken care of.

My out going expenses are pretty small.

Student loans.

Scooter payment.

Which I only have two more months and it’s mine free and clear.

Although what I am going to do with it is still up in the air.  I want to sell it but nothing has coalesced yet.  I am certain once I have the financials all clear I will want to move forward rapidly to find another ride.

The bicycling is great, but when the days get shorter and colder and the nights long, I am not going to be wanting to be doing the commute.  Two weeks of bicycling and I can tell I am going to want a better commuting solution.

It will happen.

Just because I can’t see it right in front of me doesn’t meant that there isn’t a solution to my scooter dilemma.

This is not a problem either.

It’s just another opportunity to grow and have another experience.

Granted I would rather it be easier than it has been, but the solution will find me if I keep putting it out there.  I want a scooter I can ride and I know that it’s in my cards to find that.

And it’s the weekend.

Like that.

I made it.

I have little to do, a commitment tomorrow in Noe Valley, a speaking engagement in the Mission on Sunday, a tea date and check in with a lady tomorrow, grocery shopping, cooking, sleeping in.

Small, simple, honest things.

I’ll read.

I’ll meditate.

I will take the next action around graduate school–Saturday’s will be my go to-day to do work on graduate school admissions.

I will sit in the sun.

I will get a manicure and a pedicure and have someone wax my eyebrows and I will drink an iced coffee or three in my wanders.

I will take at least one day off from riding my bicycle so that my legs can rest.

I will relax and take it easy.

My life is pretty damn awesome.

Even when I am tired.

It’s rocking the hell out.

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One Response to “You Sound Exhausted”

  1. dapoppins Says:

    Sounds like a great job with good communication with the family. Stability is a big bonus! Yay you!

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