We Feel Really Lucky


To have you.

The mom told me tonight as I was getting ready to leave.

I stayed late to help put the boys to bed.

“I hope I’m not saying that too much,” she added, “we just really do feel lucky to have you.”

I don’t mind at all.

Thank you.

In fact, thank you very, very much.

“I feel very lucky to be here,” I replied and smiled, “I just adore the boys, they are awesome.”

And they are.

Yes.

They can be little bit of a  hand full and they are still getting used to me and I to them, but we are working it out and it doesn’t hurt that I am being so well taken care of.

“This is for you,” the mom said this morning as I came in and handed me a check with two months of health insurance compensation on it.

September and October covered and that is awesome as my student loans come out of forbearance this month.  I got the notice from my student loan servicing today when I got home from work.  I knew it was coming, I have it set up in my calendar and the company will just do an automatic withdrawal from my account on the due date of the loan payment.

This of course made me think of graduate school and the next steps that need to be taken.

Yesterday one of the things that I took care of doing was prepping my transcripts and filling in what I could on the electronic application for the school.

I could not get as far as I wanted as I realized that the application was actually not yet open for the fall term for 2015.  The site still is accepting applications for this spring session.  The fall session application will open on November 15th.

So I have another month really before the application is even applicable.

I like to have momentum going, however, and plan to continue doing little bits and pieces of the application as the weeks go by.

One of them, aside from ordering my transcripts, which I did get an electronic copy yesterday sent to me (I must have a hard copy sent to the department once the admissions for fall 2015 open), is to figure out who to ask for a letter of recommendation from.

They application states that it should be someone involved with my academic career.

Except.

Well.

I haven’t been in school in over 12 years.

I doubt any of my old professors or teaching assistants would remember me.

Well, maybe a few, I actually was friends with a few of my T.A.’s and I don’t doubt that they would remember, except it just seems to far removed to contact a T.A. friend who was a regular at the bar I worked at in college.

I was thinking today when I was doing my morning writing that perhaps I will ask the mom of the little girl that I used to take care of on Thursdays.

She, the mom, not the little girl (although I don’t doubt her intelligence is going to get her far) is a professor at the University of San Francisco.

“You’ll be great in grad school!” She told me the last time we talked, my last day with her little girl.

She might be a person to speak to for it.

I have a few other ideas, I’ll see if they make sense and ask those folks.

I just know that aside from the writing classes I took with Alan Kaufman, and those too were quite a well ago, over seven years ago now, almost eight, that I don’t have academic connections or experiences under my belt.

Now.

I think that I have a shit ton of life experience and I have certainly done my fair share of learning over the last few years and the writing every day for the last five years certainly shows a sign of stick to it ness that I don’t doubt will be a valuable asset to my application.

I do a lot of soul-searching in these pages and I have tried a lot of things.

I call this education on the basest level.

I actively seek experiences and try to have new things happening in my life, whether it is travel, or going to a museum in town that I have never been to, or going on an adventure that I think would be interesting–horseback riding, trampolining–I try to do things in my life that help me learn.

I don’t always succeed.

Sometimes I just want to come home and have a cup of tea and watch a video, but I do try to get out there into the world and when I think about all the things that I have done since I recieved my undergraduate degree, I could be awarded a PhD in life.

Well.

Maybe just a Masters.

Nonetheless, I think there are enough folks in my life that could vouche for me being a good student or an asset to an institution.

I feel like the one area that I want to be careful about is to not rely too heavily on my recovery experiences and the folks that I have worked with over the years.

I have often times told some one that I am not their therapist, nor their advisor, rather an ear, a person who shows up and is accountable and present for their experience.  Someone who will share their experience, not advise, and be there as a loving witness.

I could tell the admissions department I am really good at listening without judgement.

I have nine years of doing that.

More when I think about how long I was in restaurant management, half the time I was assuaging some sore ego or helping someone through a heartbreak or a parents death.

I did a lot of listening and no little counseling when I was a manager.

These are all things to think on as I move forward.

So too, the academic writing sample I need to provide for the application.

I cannot remember the last time I wrote a paper for a class.

It was back in the late spring of 2002 I would presume, since that is when I graduated.

I think I had one paper that I had to turn in and I did it right after I walked in the ceremony.

I dont’ have a clue what I will write about.

The application also requires a letter of intent and that is much easier, it gets to be a sort of personal essay about my life and my goals and my desires for the program and where it will take me.

That I can do.

Well.

I can do it all.

I don’t have to do it all tonight.

All I need to do for the rest of the night is put the kettle on.

It’s tea time.

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