You’re So, So Glittery!


“And happy!”

I smiled at him as he thanked me and said good night.

I don’t even know what the hell I said, but it was nice to have the feedback.

I got more than a little feedback today and I even got cat called.

Or cheetah called.

I’m not sure which, but it was most definitely in response to the pants I’m wearing which are leopard print and it amused me to no end to turn around and give the two guys behind me a little ribbing.

“Are you cat calling my pants?”

I laughed out loud and kept on walking.

They were indeed and probably me at the same time and I was ok with it.

Which was refreshing for me to notice as it was a distinct change in attitude from this morning.

I had woke up on the wrong side of the bed and was having conversations, out loud, mind you, with people not in the same room with me, and realized straightway that I needed to reboot my day, and it had not even started yet.

I actually told my head to shut up.

Also out loud.

“Shut the fuck up!”

Breathe.

And go back to reading today’s daily reflection.

Baha.

I knew though, that I really should do some writing, I didn’t want to carry crap with me all day long, besides, it’s a terrific way to die.

I mean, literally, if I am riding my bike to work with a head full of junk I am not paying attention to what is happening around me and I will get side swiped, or go down on some MUNI tracks.

Which almost happened yesterday when I went to work and the fog was so dense that I slipped on the tracks at Church Street and 17th.

That might be one of the worst feelings a bicyclist, at least in this city, can experience, that sliding out of the wheel from underneath you.

I caught myself.

I really don’t know how.

I should have gone down.

But my body tightened and pulled the bike up with me.

I wrenched myself up hard enough that my messenger bag swung off my back and around my stomach so that it was facing forward and awkwardly tucked under my arm.

I breathed in deeply, adjusted the bag and rode on.

That’s what I had to do this morning.

I could feel myself falling into a pit and I had to right myself immediately.

I sat down after I had some sustenance in my body and I wrote it all down, by the time I was a quarter of the way through the inventory I was getting insight, than perspective, then sweet, sexy, thank God relief.

I tucked my notebook back in my bag, I keep a small one in my messenger bag for jotting down notes and writing inventories when I need to out in the world, it’s also handy as I usually call and share it with someone, so to have written it knowing I would get to work a few minutes early, make a phone call, and cleanly unburden myself before stepping foot over the threshold at work.

Fresh slate.

Clean slate.

Time for a second cup of coffee, then onto my morning pages.

Writing, this daily practice, is so very good to me.

I realized this morning too, that I did not want to drop $60 on the BRAF Artumnal and I did not feel like asking any of my former employers for a discounted or gift ticket.

I just didn’t.

I would rather be fiscal within the parameters of my spending plan and go with the fund-raiser for Opulent Temple.

So that is my choice for dance venue a week from this Saturday, the 22nd, I will be shaking it with some friends at the Armory.  Vau de Vire will be there, Kink.com and lots of sexy dancing people.

Just what this lady needs.

$20 is still a bit for an event, but I have it in my entertainment category to spend some money on going out.  Had I known that G. love and Special Sauce were playing tonight at The Chapel I might have gone to see him, but it was too late for that decision, and I will be really happy to go dance at the Armory.

I also think I should do something the following weekend which is Thanksgiving.

I’m going to have a four-day weekend and want to get out and do some stuff.

I’ll most likely spend the day itself up in the Castro with Honey and cohorts, then off to a movie, most likely at the Castro Theater, with the gang of them.

It’s a long weekend and I could get out a do a few other things too, and dancing might as well be on that list.

And dating.

I am this close to Tinder.

Just to keep putting myself out there.

Just to keep practicing and trying things.

It doesn’t have to work, I am just being open.

Even if it is being open to the complete idiocy of another social media application in my life, I am willing to try different things to get different results.

I can’t just sit in my cheetah pants at home all the time.

Really, it would be a waste of good pants.

I am also going to be starting another inventory around sex and relationship stuff on Saturday and this too should bring some clarity and direction; it usually does.

God I am grateful to have these things in my life, community, fellowship, inventory, perspective from others, I really could not do it on my own.

When they say it takes a village, they were fucking right.

Thank God I have one.

I am so glad that I got to restart my day, that I allowed myself to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at my feet and use them.

I had a fabulous day as a result.

And got to glitter for someone.

That’s a happy day indeed.

 

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