I Dreamt I Was At Burning Man*

by

And I had to leave early and I was sad.

Jesus, I thought when I woke up, what month is it?

Oh yeah.

January.

You know you have it bad when you start dreaming about the event this far out. I blame the early sale of tickets that just happened, the group sales for pre-registered camps that is happening and the fact that I have had just enough time since the last burn to forget anything difficult or challenging that happened.

There was plenty of both this past year.

It’s not an unlikely scenario, the dream.

Go to Burning Man and have to leave early this year.

If I get into graduate school there’s a very good chance that would happen.

Of course, I can’t remember when the fall semester starts and I also don’t and won’t know if I’m in until March.

Until then I have plenty of other things to focus on.

Like I want to go to Atlanta in July as well.

I would really like to see my best friend in Wisconsin too, without a severe ankle injury holding me back from participating in the visit either.

And I want to make a trip down to Chula Vista to visit my grandmother.

What with everything that has happened with my dad it feels like its time to reconnect with my grandmother.

We stay in touch via Face Book, but there’s something better about face to face than over the Internet and I would like to catch up with her and also just give her a hug.

It’s been too long.

So that’s four travel destinations between here and now and the fall.

Plus what ever the dates are for the family I work with to be in Sonoma.

One thing at a time, I suppose.

Burning Man looms the largest in my mind since it is such a time and money commitment. Plus, there is the thought, do I go this year and not work?

I am not currently employed by any Burning Man family, so there may not be any Mary Fucking Poppins on the playa this year, although I do know plenty of the community that have little munchkins that go out.

“What if you, I know, radical idea, don’t work this year,” a dear friend said.

What would that look like if I actually did Burning Man instead of “Working Man.”?

It’s a really good question.

I’m not sure what I would do if I didn’t have some sort of job out there. For me being of service at Burning Man is a huge part of the allure and the community.

I don’t just go to play.

I never have.

Not even my first year on playa.

That was the year the man was burned early and I ended up pulling a bunch of Café volunteer barista shifts so that one of the Man Base crew could go and help rebuild the man before burn night.

It was an exhilarating experience and it turns out that I am a good barista.

Which really should be of no surprise since I like coffee so much.

Then the question arises.

Where would I work/volunteer?

If I didn’t work or volunteer where would I stay?

I adore my peeps at Media Mecca and that’s always the first place I think about camping or working when I think about camping our working at the event.

I did not like being at the 9 o’clock keyhole the last couple of years, it just felt too far away from where I wanted to be and the people I wanted to see.

Yeah, the perks were great, who doesn’t want to spend Burning Man in an Airstream Bambi? But it was like being in a gilded cage. I prefer a trailer to a tent, but if I should only have the opportunity to tent it I will. Even though I have no tent any longer or air mattress or camping shower. All those things I loaned out or gave away to folks when I started staying in a trailer for the event when I was working out there as a nanny.

I get way ahead of myself.

But the dream made me think a lot about it today and what my options are and when and if I should buy a ticket or should I look to the folks I know in the community and find out if I can do some volunteer work for them.

I should just reach out and ask instead of walking around in circles in my head.

There are a lot of dates on the table, in my head, and I haven’t really looked over any of them to see what overlap, if any there is.

Ultimately, the thing to do is take action.

Not sit here in my head and wonder about it.

I need to register for the conference in July if I’m going to go to Atlanta.

That’s the first thing.

The next thing to do is to check in with my grandmother and see if there’s a good weekend to come down for a quick visit.

That is something I could do tonight.

If I can manage to get online, the Internet is currently down and I am in my Word application writing my blog.

Something I dislike, but have gotten used to since the Internet connection out here is so often wonky. I always hope that by the time I finish writing my piece the connection will have resumed.

Some times that actually does happen.

Most times, I am stuck sitting on a blog until later in the night when it, the Internet, magically reappears.

Otherwise I would have a little clarity around those dates.

I could look up when the graduate program starts.

I am sure it’s listed somewhere.

I could look and see if the date overlaps with Burning Man.

That would be some helpful information to have.

I mean if I’m going to be dreaming about going I might as well have the specific dates down on my calendar.

There are loads of actions I can take.

I don’t have to figure it out tonight though.

The best I have for the rest of the evening is a snack and a cup of tea and an episode of Broad Church.

Nothing else pressing.

Just a nice mellow evening of self-care and reflection on all the wonderful places I get to go to this year and all the new adventures I have in store.

It’s going to be one hell of a year.

I am feeling it.

 

*This blog originally written on 1/27/15.  My internet was down, apologies for the late post.*

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