I’m Either Brilliant


Or I’m an idiot.

Either way I am busy laughing at myself.

I cleared some time with my employers today to go down to San Diego and visit my grandmother and I have been in contact with my uncle to co-ordinate times and I had a plan.

Oh yes I did.

Have a plan, that is.

But guess what?

I shot my plan in the ass.

Inadvertantly, but I did.

I just booked a great ticket, at an amazing price, really, like two hundred dollars less than I was seeing last night, oh my god, buy that ticket, buy it now before it disappears.


Dear heart.

There’s a really good reason why the ticket is two hundred dollars less.

Oh no.


Fuck me.

I booked for the wrong month.

I mean really, no big deal, March, May, they both start with the same two letters.


I am in such a great place spiritually, I’m not mad at all, I’m hella amused is what I am.

Funny thing.

My original idea was to go in May, not sure why, but that seemed a good time for me to go.  Then I talked with my uncle and he’s planning on going down this month and I thought, well, it’ll be a little full, but I can do it.

And then I took a day off today with my employers so that I could go down at a decent time and not show up on my grandmother’s doorstep at midnight.

The best thing?

Or one more thing to laugh about.

I booked an extra day.

March 28th is on a Friday.

May 28th is on a Thursday.

Guess who’ll be in San Diego and extra day.

Apparently God wants me to go down for a little longer than I was planning.

Which is cool.

I have only been to San Diego one other time and that was about 10 1/2 years ago and I didn’t get out much.

I don’t really remember much about that trip aside from the fact that I was miserable.

You’ll note the time, 10 1/2 years ago.

I was not in a good place.

I was just months away from getting sober and I was entering into that long dark night of the soul that was to be my bottom.

One could say I was not at my best that trip.

I did not drink or use that trip.

Not a drop.

Not a line.


But I had up until the last-minute before I had to get on the airplane to leave for San Diego and I white knuckled it through the weekend and immediately went out with a bang when I got back to San Francisco.

I remember smoking a lot of cigarettes.



How awful it must have been for my family.

I was checked out, stuck in my head, lost, feeling rotten, not able to show up and be my true self, my best self.

I will this time.

I get to amend my behaviour and show up as my best self and as the grand-daughter my grandmother deserves to see.

I am looking forward to the trip.

And a bit relieved that it happened the way it just did.

It’s totally silly and I am a bit chagrined, it’ll be an interesting conversation to have with my boss tomorrow when I switch up my time off request.


So much for trying to figure out my vacation time and when I was going to ask off for the school retreat and who knows about that either, I haven’t heard back from the school.

Despite being told at the interview that we would know by this time.

I haven’t received notification, despite haunting the in-box on my e-mail account.

I even checked my status online this afternoon and it just shows that my application has been received and is in the process of being reviewed.

That tells me nothing.

The interviewer made it pretty clear that the students getting into the cohort would be alerted to their acceptance into the program before it was listed on the website.


Who the hell knows what my vacation time is going to look like.

I don’t.

I don’t know anything.

Except that I have set intentions to travel this year–San Diego, Hawaii (I’ve never been), and yes, Burning Man.

I know I want to go to Burning Man, I always do, and in the spirit of such reached out to my first playa family, a little bird told me that they may be considering going out.

Consider it!

I want to go too.

It would be such fun, a family reunion.

I have to say the last two days have been nutty, between the IRS identification confirmation I had to do yesterday and just now booking a flight for the wrong month, but really, I feel, the right one, I am upside down.

Seems like my plans have plans that don’t include me over thinking them.

Which is good.

I over think everything.

I’m glad too for having booked, accidentally, an extra day to be in San Diego.

I’ll see if there are in any fellows I can meet up with, I’ll maybe see some sights, I’ll have more time to spend with my grandmother and my cousins and my aunt and my uncle and do it up.

Fortuitous accident.

And the ticket really was two hundred dollars less, I mean, that’s a nice little savings for me.

I appreciate God looking out.



Now I know what I will be doing that weekend instead, getting my hair done.

I have been trying to figure that out with my busy weekend schedule, when can I get my ass to my hair dresser, who has been promising me a birthday haircut for months, literally, my birthday was in December.

I’m going to call the salon tomorrow, I have a free Saturday this month after all.




That’s me.

But at least I’ll have fabulous hair.

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