Brain Exploding

I just got sucked into the vortex of online scholarship applications.

I managed to apply for two.

Not bad out of the thousand it seems I am qualified for.

I did the easiest ones too.

I had to set up a profile and wade through some gunk, but I used the site that CIIS recommended when I went to the open house and sat through the informative talk with the financial aid advisor there.

I tried to access my online financial aid account on the schools website today and no dice, nothing’s been posted yet.

Then I recalled that I did have that scholarship webpage saved in my phone and one thing led to another and I’m not sure but I think I was on the site for an hour.

My brain is mush.

Sometimes being online actually seems to make me stupid.

I didn’t want to go online at all today.

I felt that I needed a break after the getting of the new computer, the trying to transfer information and the just general malaise that spending too much time on the inter webs can do to me.

The internet, social media, et al, sometimes I feel, fosters a sense of dislocation within my person.

I’m connected, but I’m not really connected.

Yes, I ‘liked’ you or your status or your photo, geez, I may have even gone so far as to post a comment on your pretty picture; but did I talk to you?

Nope.

Did talk to a whole lot of people today?

Nope.

I did some.

I wasn’t completely isolated.

I got up, did my morning deal and headed up to the Inner Sunset on my bicycle, a fast, quick, and relatively brisk ride–the temperatures dropped today and the wind was kicky.

I sat for my hour, shared my share, did my thing, said some how are you’s, accepted and gave a hug, then went to meet my person at Tart to Tart.

Where I got to do some reading and some checking in and see that I am still a crazy lady, even with solution under my belt, sometimes the crazy just comes by and whacks me on my ass.

I was given some instructions and some suggestions and believe you me, I took them.

Then I did a little eating out and a little shopping.

My eating out was uninspired, let me tell you, and after all the foo foo haha in my head and my little world over my diet and nutrients and what I am getting and not getting enough of, if I spend the money to eat out it better be better than this was.

I went to the Crepevine and I have to say the increase in price and the decrease in portion was not cool, or that instead of salad (I don’t eat the potatoes or the toast there) I requested with my scramble, I got some sad wilted looking lettuce leaves with no dressing on them.  I was almost tempted to hand back the plate, second time in recent history with them that my food has been so lack luster.

But hunger got the best of me and I ate.

But made a large note to self, in the future go around the corner to Park Chow or Pacific Catch, spend a tiny bit more and enjoy your food.

That has been the major uptake for me in all this dietary stuff.

I really do want to enjoy every bit I put in my mouth, especially since I am restricted by my health needs to certain foods and avoidance of others.

With that in mind I did my afternoon grocery shopping.

But not before I did my afternoon book shopping.

Ah.

Thank you so much Green Apple Books for opening a store in the Inner Sunset.

That was my one beef with the neighborhood when I moved out to the Sunset, no good bookstores.

I am not sure how much time I spent browsing through the racks, but it was good and I got a new book, Funny Girl, by Nick Hornby (About a Boy) and when I did get back from the grocery shopping I sat down and read a good fair bit of it.

I was going to do more shopping, clothes, thrifting, shoes, but I just didn’t have it in me.

The weather turned cooler and the wind picked up more and I found myself just wanting to get back to my little space by the sea.

I did manage a quick run to the grocery store, but even then it was truncated.

Sometimes I just don’t feel like shopping, even grocery shopping can become overwhelming.

But since I had such a lack luster lunch I wanted to have a really nice dinner.

I treated myself, before finding out my cholesterol was high, to a steak from Whole Foods earlier this week, and despite my doctor’s admonishment to cut back on meat products, I ate that steak right up.

I’m anemic too and I figure the anemia needs addressing first and foremost.

I’ve been doubling my iron supplement and eating kale like it’s going out of style.

The cholesterol I suspect is hereditary and as such, I’m not too worried about it, I do eat so very well and I don’t eat a lot of meat or animal products, I don’t drink milk, I don’t eat butter, I don’t have cheese, except some low-fat string cheese, I eat a boiled egg a day in the morning for some protein, really, I do have a great diet.

Tonight though, as I said, a little splurge, a nice piece of steak, rare, rare, rare, some seared brussels sprouts (in olive oil, mind you) and sautéed brown mushrooms with garlic, a small salad of heirloom tomato and avocado, and a little bit of brown rice.

Happy tummy.

Helped me get through the scholarship applications.

I will, I am sure do more, but I just petered out and when I realized how long I been in the hole of internet browsing and clicking and nodding out, I had to pull back and stop.

I made some tea, I am decided to get to my blog a little early and I will probably watch a little video and relax the rest of the night.

It’s a mellow Saturday and I’m ok with that.

I don’t have to be non-stop go all the time.

I won’t have any energy left to apply for tuition money then.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

Tags: About a Boy, action, CIIS, doing the deal, Funny Girl, graduate school, Green Apple Books, Inner Sunset, Nick Hornby, postaday, reading, recovery, San Francisco, scholarship, self-care, shopping, The Sunset