Dinner And


A movie?

A game of dominoes?

Dancing?

Chatting.

Hiding under my bed.

Ugh.

My birthday is coming up and I don’t want to think about.

Too many other things to think about.

Like.

Two weeks from today I will be in the air somewhere over the Atlantic flying towards Paris.

Like that.

Oh.

And my up coming last weekend of school for this semester.

I am quite happy to report that I have done the majority of the work for my final project presentation.

I honed the presentation and the hand out that I am supposed to have for the class, as well as writing out my references in a bibliography APA style.

Yeah.

That was fun.

Which reminds me, I’m going to have to print this sucker out.

Ugh.

One more tiny detail to think about.

Maybe I can ask at work.

Anyway.

That’s happening next weekend and then the weekend following is off to Paris and Merry Christmas to me.

Standing in the way of that experience is the papers I will have to finish before heading out.

Two.

Better than the six it was after the last weekend of being school.

The other thing?

My birthday.

Friday, December 18th.

I will be working.

I will be at work until 8p.m.

Then what the hell do I do?

The things I would like to do aren’t open–Free Gold Watch closes at 7pm, so no pinball for me.

And the other place that does have some pinball that I wouldn’t mind playing is at a bar, and I am so not spending my birthday in a bar.

No thank you.

I have been ice skating on my birthday at the Embarcadero Center that was fun, not interested in Union Square at all, too crowded and the rink is much smaller.

But I’m not sure that I am going to feel up to ice skating after a full day at work, which will have been a full week a work, in addition to a full week of getting the papers done before I have to leave.

My papers are due the 22nd, but I won’t be here and I want to have them all wrapped up before I leave.

I figure the time that I normally take for reading in the morning will be devoted to doing the papers and I should be able to have them both done by the end of the week.

What will I feel like doing after a week like that?

Coffee.

And.

Movie.

Or.

Coffee, dinner, and movie.

Or.

Dinner and movie.

It’s the weekend that Star Wars opens and I am sure the theaters are going to be swamped.

And obviously Star Wars is already sold out everywhere.

However.

There are other movies.

Hmm.

I am exploring theater options while I blog/think and I am not liking the looks of it.

Star Wars everywhere.

Not that I’m not interested in the movie, I am, but I am not certain I want to be in any theater that is playing it opening weekend.

Too many crowds.

I love a movie and have no problem going to one on my own, I used to love to do that when I was living in Nob Hill.

I would walk down to the AMC on Van Ness or I would go the other way, down through China Town and over to the Embarcadero Theater.

It was always a lovely walk there and back.

I took myself on many a date to the theaters while I lived there.

Ok.

So maybe just dinner with friends.

I don’t have to make a big deal of it.

Or fuck.

Coffee.

I keep thinking it might be silly to just meet at Ritual on Valencia Street–bonus, it’s right next to where I work–and get coffees or lattes and just hang out.

Then.

Maybe dinner somewhere.

There certainly are no lack of places to dine in the Mission.

I’m a little torn.

Then again.

I could also just say screw doing something on my birthday and rather celebrate it with friends the next day.

Hmmm.

I could do pinball at Free Gold Watch that Saturday, late afternoon, early evening.

Of course I may be wicked pre-occupied trying to get ready for the Paris trip, but it may be something silly and fun to do.

I am a bit flummoxed.

I called my best girl friend today and chatted and admitted I was feeling isolated.

“Grad school does that to you!” She said emphatically assuaging my feelings, “I know how you are feeling.”

And then she brought up my birthday, which just made me break into tears.

I have been assiduously avoiding the topic in my brain.

Now I’m back to thinking dinner after work on Friday.

I’m waffling.

I’m embarrassed to not know what I want.

Or to write what I want.

I didn’t enjoy my dinner out last year on my birthday.

I would like to do something different.

It might be fun to get a bunch of folks together and do sushi.

My brain hurts.

There are certain things I can spend lots of time thinking about, but my birthday is not one of them.

I really don’t want to do anything.

And.

I really do.

Ah, the rub.

There’s not much I want to do right now.

I could use a foot rub.

How about that?

Or a hug.

A snuggle.

A shoulder to lean on.

I am, I admit, feeling lonely.

Though, not alone.

And the feeling didn’t devolve too badly this weekend, granted, yes, there were tears, the tears they do like to fall, but I did not get washed out by them, I did not fall to pieces, I did not.

I resolutely went for a walk around the neighborhood on a study break and made phone calls and connected.

Which.

Of course.

Is how I got on the topic of said birthday.

I just want to see some friendly faces and drink some coffee and hang out at a restaurant.

I think that’s it.

Pretty simple.

Pretty easy.

Now where the hell should I go?

Ha.

 

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