All The Love


I have been feeling it all day long.

It’s pretty fantastic.

Today is a special anniversary and I was reminded all day long how graced I am, how much God is in my life, how amazing and just plain fucking awesome it is to be alive.

I had a great day with the boys at work.

I even agreed to work a holiday, which I did not realize I had off-Monday.

In return, one of the days I’m in New York is now not being accounted for.

So my little jaunt to the Big Apple in May will only eat two of my vacation days rather than three.

Plus I’ll get a little over time next week and a few more bucks in my pocket.

Which will be nice as I am going to get a tattoo after all.

Not a big one, but I do really like getting a tattoo on my anniversary or there about.

I’ll be hopping over to see a friend at Let It Bleed in the good old Tenderloin on Sunday after I get out of class to add a star to my neck.

Eleven years.

Eleven stars.


It was funny too, I was thinking about it, a bunch of friends got black star tattoos today at Body Manipulations for a David Bowie tribute and I thought, yeah, I’d love that, but um, can’t bring the kids I nanny to the tattoo parlor, you know.

My artist I normally work with is in Alameda and yeah, I know, it’s not that far, but my schedule is pretty tight and I just want one star.


I thought, to myself last night as I was tossing and turning, sleepless, it took forever to fall asleep, I had so many thoughts running through my head, maybe I’ll just hop over to Castro Tattoo where my guy used to work.

Then I thought about my friend at Let It Bleed.

And who do you think I ran, or should I say “biked” into on the way to work.



He was crossing Masonic on his bike one way while I was crossing Masonic on my bike the other way.

We hollered at each other and it was like.

You know.

A sign from God.

Which I promptly forgot about until he tagged my social media post about the anniversary and we got to chatting and then to texting and the next thing you know.


This Sunday.

I’ll be getting another star.

Thank you very much.

And yes.

It will be a black star.

And it will look hella hot.

It will also go smashing with the new hair happening next weekend.

I have a lot of stuff on my plate, but man, it’s all such good stuff.

When I think about where I was last year and all the things that I have done and gone through since I turned ten, well, fuck, it’s been an incredible year.

I hadn’t applied to graduate school yet.

And here I am about to start my second semester in my first year of grad school.

I was freshly broken up with.

I was pretty raw about my dad.

I was in the dark hallway.

I’ve been happy, joyous, and free, most of the year, really, most of the time in the last eleven years, but sometimes, some years, some days, some weeks, they have been more challenging than others.

I don’t expect the work to get easier, but I do know that the results keep getting better.

And my happiness, my faith, deepens exponentially.

As long as I stay close.

As long as I do the work.

I get the results.

And it’s really good.

Life beyond my wildest dreams.

Even when it doesn’t go my way.

And often times it does, but just not in ways I was expecting.

Take for instance, I’m a tiny bit bummed, a lot really, that my friend in New York won’t be in New York when I am visiting–he sent me a birthday message today and I threw my travel dates at him–I was hoping for a hang out.

However, he’s in the Alps.

Doing an art project.

Because life if amazing.

And he offered me his place in Brooklyn while he’s away.

I have a place to stay in New York.


I am over the moon.

It is going to be so nice to have a spot to be.

I won’t have to dick around with getting in late, which I am, 10:30p.m. at night on a Thursday to JFK, by the time I roll into the city close to midnight, which might have been a challenge to check into a place.


I can just show up, be at my friends, not have to navigate an unknown place, and be settled.

I am so excited.

Plus, he’s in a good neighborhood in Brooklyn, so I’ll be hanging in the cool kids spots while I am there.

So psyched.

My whole life just has me so psyched.

It doesn’t often go the way I think it should, but it does go marvelously well, and sweet, and tender, with much love and grace and gifts that I don’t expect to receive.

I only hope I can give back a fraction of what has been given to me.

For I have been given so very much.

So much it makes my heart ache with joy to know the amount of love I have gotten to experience.

I am grateful.

I think you get that.

Full of gratitude.

Full of lightness.




Thank you.

Thank you so much for the best eleven years of my life.

I couldn’t have done it without you.

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