Fashionably Late

Smelling like candy.

“You always smell so good,” she said to me last night as I gave her a hug good night after a brief check in about when we were going to be meeting this weekend.

“You smell like candy.”

“Good,” I replied, “I’ve got a date.”

And like that.

I smelled like sex and candy.

Just in case you were wondering where I was last night.

Ahem.

Procrastinating the inevitable work that I need to do for school but having fun.

I finally get what people have been trying to tell me for so long.

Date a bunch of guys, don’t focus on one, have fun, and it’s interviewing for possible dates.

I had a nice time, it was a sweet experience, and at times a bit telling on our age difference, I wanted to pinch his cheeks at one point and tell him how cute he was, but that probably wouldn’t have been too sexy for him.

“You had me at ‘I can cook’,” he said kissing me and throwing me down on my bed.

And later.

“You are wild,” he said with a gleam in his eye.

Nah.

I’m just me.

I’m exuberant.

But I suppose for some people that looks like wild.

I like to have fun, safe fun, I’m not stupid, about my space, my heart, or my body, I’m clearly delineating certain things from certain places.

“That really surprises me!” She said tonight, “I mean, I thought guys asked you out all the time.”

“Not in the rooms,” I said, “in fact, I have been only asked out once in eleven years.”

And I said yes.

Just in case you were wondering.

But I don’t muck about in the rooms.

I don’t.

I would love to, but I just don’t want to sully the waters that make me well.

That being said, it is with my utmost fervent hope that I will be one day in a committed, sober, monogamous, fun, sexy, creative, hella happy, recovered romantic relationship.

Which does sort of mean being available to that energy and engaging with guys in my community.

But not getting laid there, I don’t want to be casual with any one in that way.

Unless they’re not in my regular sphere, yo over in Oakland, we might hit it, you know.

I’m being a bit flip, but I hold dear certain places and spaces.

Of course, I have monkeyed around, who hasn’t?

It can be like shooting fish in a barrel, but like I have heard often, “the odds are good, but the goods are odd.”

Ain’t that the truth.

“I think I’m just a big personality and I can come across as too much and I’m a strong woman,” I told the woman I was speaking with tonight.

I went to an awesome fundraiser, basically a rent party, for a place I frequent and heard a dear friend play an amazing set with some other friends.

They were outstanding.

Tom S. & The 5150’s.

Got to fucking love that.

They played “Little Red Corvette” as an encore and I started to cry.

There were more than a few wet faces in the audiences and we all shamelessly sang along to the song.

Then there was some dancing, a little MoTown dj action and I got my groove on, despite, or perhaps because I have been looking at what I need to do for school and I really didn’t do anything school related today.

I got up late, since, I er, went to bed late, heh, but I did get up in time to go to a 10:30 a.m. yoga class, I showered, did laundry, wrote, and tidied up, I had a phone call over coffee with a suitor–we have a date for next Saturday–and then I decided to go and get my nails done and take myself out for lunch.

Which led to me being in Green Apple Books and did I just spend another hour and a half not reading for school, but reading for pleasure?

Oops.

My bad.

I couldn’t help it though.

I am such a sucker for a good book store.

Then I went to do the deal and I ran into a bunch of folks and the next thing you know I’m at this rent party and singing with the band and dancing and holy mother, it’s 9:30 p.m. I haven’t been home all day, I need to do grocery shopping, I haven’t had dinner, and um, school work, um, ha.

Oh well.

I am actually really happy I let my hair down for a while and reconnected with friends I haven’t seen in a while and chatted and just had some social interaction, that wasn’t dating, and was fun and silly and chill.

I’ve got yoga in the morning, two ladies back to back, food prep to do for the week, and yes, I did do it, I have a coffee date and a walk on the beach for the afternoon.

When am I going to do school work?

Fuck if I know.

But I promise.

It will get done.

And I will keep letting myself have fun, as long as I’m taking good self-care.

If I was missing out on doing the deal or not meeting with my ladies or checking in with my people, then I would not be doing the dating thing.

And when I feel like I have to knuckle down and do the school work, I will do that.

I already know I ain’t doing shit next Sunday but writing a big paper and reading a lot.

I don’t have any dates planned for the week, just yoga and doing the deal, and of course working, I will get reading done every day before work.

And my stupid, annoying, perpetually obnoxious Applied Spirituality post will get in there too.  God I can’t stand this class, drives me bats, I’m already so spiritual yo, you can’t even realize, why I got to write a paper on it?

At least I know what I will be writing, the yoga continues to be a very mind expanding and heart opening experience.

As well as a fan-fucking-tastic work out, I broke a sweat today like no body’s business.

Life.

It is so good.

So real.

So full of fun.

I am the luckiest girl in the world.

Believe it.

Tags: 5150, applied spirituality, dancing, dating, doing the deal, friends, grad school, gratitude, Green Apple Books, homework, Little Red Corvette, luckiest girl in the world, MoTown, procrastination, recovery, rent party, San Francisco, self-care, sex, sobriety, spirituality, Tom S. & The 5150's, yoga