Cold Hands


Warm heart.

I spent a lot of today being just a little bit cold.

Not horrible.

But my feet have been damp all day long and that gets to a person.

Granted.

My heart has been full.

Lots of love from my charges.

So much love.

Just smashed with it.

I wasn’t expecting to go through the day wet, but I got caught in the rain on my way to work on my scooter and just got soaked.

It also meant that soccer practice for one of the boys was cancelled, so I had multiple charges today when I would have just had the baby for the first half of the day.

I had brought homework.

Ha.

Ha.

No homework today.

That being said, however, I did have something pretty freaking awesome happen today at work.

I asked for a letter of reference and got a resounding yes, of course, we’d love to!

Both the parents for this particular family are psychiatrists.

They met in graduate school.

Hello.

Too cute.

And I’m always so shocked that they’re doctors, and practicing and have been for a while.

Both of them were ready to write me a letter.

I may get two out of the deal!

Super stoked.

Like.

REALLY.

I prefaced my ask with I know I haven’t worked with you for very long, and it’s true, I haven’t, but, they have seen me balance my job with my school work and have commiserated with me about the hours of reading and they’ve been witness to my rapport with their children.

And um, I’ll probably work with kids, heh.

So.

Yes.

Very excited for that piece to fall into place.

I will be going to a practicum fair this next weekend of classes and I will be getting more information about sites then.

I also will be making time to meet with the co-ordinator of the practicum placement team and asking for suggestions about resumes and where I should be focusing and what to do next.

I do know I need to get my advisor to sign off on my readiness, which I have already received verbally, but paperwork has to be submitted.

I shall be submitting the next weekend I’m in classes.

Especially since it’s the last weekend of the semester.

Ah.

Warming up.

Hot tea.

Sorry, ha, back to school.

My last weekend of the semester is almost here!

Party.

Well.

Not yet.

I looked over the paper guidelines today for my Psychopathology class and I have gathered my books and notes and want to at least take a stab at getting some thing of an outline sketched out.

I also looked over the final paper that is due for my Family Therapy class.

It’s a little more involved than I first thought, but a much shorter paper than my Psychopathology class, 5-7 pages.

I am thinking I may get it started and possibly finish it on Saturday.

Then, give myself Sunday, after I meet with a couple of ladies, to start the Psychopathology paper.

One of the parents got excited today when I described what I have to do to write that paper, I almost wanted to give her the vignette to look over.

But I know that would be cheating myself of the experience and this is all stuff I have to learn and re-learn and remember before I go into my practice, I have to do a lot, A LOT, of reading and practice myself.

But I’m grateful for it.

It’s really nice to have a goal.

I have drifted for a long time wondering what I should do, what was I going to be when I grew up?

I never thought I would be a therapist.

But.

You know.

It makes pretty good sense.

I’ve been an ear for many a tale.

Many a secret.

Many a confidence.

And a rather empathetic one at that, if I can toot my own horn.

Just grateful to have these experiences to draw on as well.

So many things.

So many ways of seeing and being seen and gratitude for all of it.

True and sure.

The parents expressed to me again, as well as signing off on doing letters of recommendations, how much they will miss me when I transition to my next family.

Which is really sweet to hear.

I have two more weeks with them.

I will be sad, I do like the family  a lot.

And I got the ‘I love you’ today from the 4-year-old.

The last hold out of the bunch and in ways the most squishy, snuggly one of the bunch.

He just looked up at me at dinner time and said, “Carmen, I love you.”

Big awed brown eyes.

I have had that told to me so much this week, I have to say it’s been so nice to hear and get confirmation that I’m on the right track, doing well, having an influence and giving just as much as I’m getting.

I also found out that my next family is really excited to work with me as well.

Early this evening as I was getting dinner ready for the bunch, a family friend swung by with some shoes for the oldest boy, she happens to have a very sweet 6-year-old in the same school as my main family.

“Oh!  I was hoping I would get to say hello, it’s so nice to see you,” she smiled and handed off the shoes.

“And, I heard you’re moving on soon?” She asked, eyes bright and inquisitive, “buy you’re staying within the _____ (private school they all go to ) family, right?”

I smiled, “I am, I’ll be working for ________ and __________ and their new baby, I’m super happy to stay within the ‘family’.”

“I saw her today when I went to pick up __________ from school, she’s so excited for you to start with them,” the family friend said, “really excited.”

“Oh, that’s so nice to hear,” I said.

And it was.

I mean.

It’s one thing to hear it from the mom when I interviewed, but to hear that she’s talking to other parents at the school and that she can’t wait for me to start.

Well.

That made my day.

It might have been a little grey and a little cold.

But.

l was so warmed by the effusive outpouring of love from my charges and the lovely words from the parents and their friends.

I barely noticed the cold at all.

Happy.

Joyous.

Free.

And recommended, referenced, referred, and totally taken care of.

I mean.

Totally.

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