Baby, It’s Cold Outside


I know.

I know.

I live in San Francisco.

But when it drops below 50 degrees here, it really feels cold.

Add to that a long ride home up and down Diamond Heights and out to the Outer Sunset, to the outer edge of the world, on my scooter late at night.

And.

Yeah.

I am a cold nugget.

Fortunately for an electric tea kettle, boil damn it, I need some hot tea, I should stay alive to make it through the night.

Ha.

I am going to die when I get to Wisconsin.

“You’ll be fine!” A friend of mine said.  “It’s totally different, you’ll be indoors most of the time, there’s heat and insulation galore.”

True that.

It is different living somewhere where there is loads of cold weather infrastructure.

Not so much here in the city by the Bay.

Not much insulation, not much for the heater, but I have a little electric guy in my in-law and it puts it out nicely.

I am very grateful for it.

I have lived in many a cold, drafty, Victorian house without one in my room before.

And that was fucking cold.

I got home.

Turned on the heater, lit up the Christmas tree, and put the water on to boil.

I also wrapped a few more Christmas presents.

I am almost done.

I  picked up the boys their Christmas gifts today, the boys I’m nannying for, the boys I will only get to be taking care of for a couple more weeks.

The parents are taking advantage of me working nights for them and have been going out to a lot of dinners.

Which is nice.

I get the boys to myself.

We turn on the music and eat dinner.

They had three options today, the mom’s having me make extra food and they are freezing it in preparation for my school weekend–beef stew, broccoli soup, or beef stroganoff.

Yeah.

I cook a lot for the family.

But I appreciate doing it and it’s a nice way to show my love for my charges.

Then we had some stories and after wards built four different train tracks.

I cleaned the kitchen, did the boys laundry, and ran them a bubble bath.

We had a very sweet night.

So it was fun to come home from my evening’s speaking engagement up in Diamond Heights and pull out the Christmas presents I had gotten them today and wrap them up.

I had gotten up early, went to yoga, showered, had breakfast and coffee, did some writing, and had some time before work to go shopping.

I knew where I wanted to go and what I wanted to get so I zoomed over to Rainbow Co-op and picked up the last few things I wanted to get for one of my nieces and there they were, the boys Christmas presents.

I knew immediately.

It’s always so sweet when it just happens and it felt so good to pick them up and hold them and softly touch them and put them in my basket.

I got the boys Jelly Cat stuffies.

One large floppy cat, for my little guy who loves his stuffed cat, Meow Meow.

And.

One large floppy bunny, for my older boy, who is my sweet bunny.

My heart got big and I thought about them and all the good cuddles I have gotten to have with them.

I hope that they snuggle their stuffies once in a while and think about me.

I know I will often think about them.

Fact is.

I think about my charges often, they are a great big part of the joy of living that I practice in my life, they are all a part of my journey, and the amount of love I have gotten from the kids I have worked with over the last decade blows me away.

It really does.

OMG.

Hot tea.

I am in heaven.

And I am finally warming up.

So good.

All the things.

I even got to write out a few more Christmas cards today.

I do so love dropping them in the mailbox.

I am a fucking dork.

I don’t care.

I love gifting.

It makes me happy.

It brings me joy.

I like to think about the things that I am giving someone and hopefully the happiness they will get when the receive it.

I spend time thinking and figuring it out.

I rarely, if ever, give gift cards or gift certificates.

They are nice to receive, don’t get me wrong, but I like to make my presents personal.

I like to be tender-hearted, let’s be frank, I am a big old softie.

I get so much from the giving, that really, it’s almost more for me than it is for the person I am giving to.

I want it to be special.

I delighted in writing out my Christmas cards.

I discovered that the cards I bought in Paris at the little gift shop at the end of the Tuileries are vintage postcards!

They are so sweet and adorable.

There weren’t a lot of them, and um, haha, I had to send myself one, I just couldn’t take it, they were so darling.

I usually, actually, send myself a Christmas card too.

I like to hang a spool of green twine, yes there are brown paper packages tied up with string underneath my Christmas tree, and then I have tiny clothes pins that I attach the cards to on the twine.

I drape them down the wall and look at them happily.

I don’t know where exactly I got all the Christmas cheer.

I usually will have a bout of the Christmas time blues too, but so far I have been to busy living life to have that happen.

And.

Well, should the holiday blues come knocking, I’ll be ok with that too, they typically pass pretty quick.

I will gently remind myself that feelings are not facts and that life is good.

It might be cold outside.

But my heart.

Well.

My heart is a bonfire of joy.

Seriously.

 

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