And It Was A


Good day.

It was.

Yes.

There was sunshine.

Oh sunshine.

How I adore you.

It won’t be sunny much more this week, one more day, tomorrow, then, yes, fuck, six days in a row of the wet stuff.

Sigh.

Oh well.

At least I had today.

And really.

What more could I ask for.

Just for today.

Just for today I will be happy.

And I was.

I got a few things done before I headed out to work, some organizing, some work on my school stuff, some writing.

I gassed up the scooter.

$1.16 to top her off.

hahahaha.

Ah.

I love that.

I love going into the 76 station on Lincoln and LaPlaya and handing the cashier a bunch of change with a great big smile.

Feels pretty freaking good that.

Zoom zipped to work.

I got there early enough that I was able to check in with a few people on the phone and just make sure my head was on nice and straight and ready for all things Monday.

I hit work and was ready to go.

Today was my first day feeling how it will be for the majority of my time, or at least how I envision it to be.

The dad has gone back to work full-time and it was me, the mom, the baby.

I checked in with mom, got the low down, got organized and then hopped in the car with her to Noe Valley, where I got dropped off to do errands and get my way back to the house on my own time.

Mom was heading to her office with the baby and I was on my own.

I cannot express how much joy that brings me.

To have some autonomy, to get to run errands in the sunshine, to go grocery shopping and help with the dry cleaning.

I topped off the Clipper Card (the MUNI pass for the buses and trains) at the Walgreens and got to pick up a few things that I was needing for the house.

I was able to also swing into another little store on my way back to the house and pick up a sweatshirt.

My Bicycle Coalition sweatshirt has been pretty battered and the zipper the past few weeks has just gotten worse and worse.

I suppose I could have replaced it, but it was pretty beat, I’ve had it for over five years and worn it pretty non-stop, when I went to zip into it this morning on my way to work, the zipper split again and I was like, fuck it, time to replace it.

So I got a cool black hoodie with white draw strings and a white outline of Sutro Tower by the company Cotton Basics, a local clothing company out of Oakland.

I like to buy local stuff whenever I can.

Then.

A quick pop into Whole Foods.

The mom had asked me to make dinner and had pulled out some chicken breasts from the freezer.

“Make whatever you want,” she said, “here’s some cash, get whatever you need at the market.”

Dude.

Carte blanche is so nice.

Seriously.

Not that I went nuts.

I didn’t need to.

The family has a really nice stocked pantry and they buy the good stuff, organic, local, upscale stuff.

I picked up some crimini mushrooms, some tarragon, and a few others odds and ends.

This evening I made the family tarragon chicken with crimini mushrooms in a cream sauce with rice and pan seared brown buttered brussels sprouts.

“Carmen!  You are the best cooker ever!” My four-year old little lady charge told me, jumping up from the dinner table as I was getting ready to leave and rushing over to throw herself in my arms.

“I love your food, so good!”

That made me so happy to hear.

I know.

Silly, right?

But not so.

I put my heart into my cooking and to be able to actually cook the way I used to, even though I don’t eat it, is super gratifying.

I’m sure there will be times I will eat what I make for the family, but I was having a good time making what I made and I wanted them to know how much I appreciate them by making them good food.

I love that they all sit down to eat dinner together.

It’s simple and basic and so sweet to see a family still do that, sit and enjoy a meal together.

I felt needed and appreciated today.

I also have really been enjoying my time with the mom, I feel like she has become not just an employer, but a friend.

And I love, love, love.

LOVE.

That she’s talking about having me for the long-term.

Like.

Four years.

Like.

Having job security all the way through my school program, what a gift.

Such a gift.

Granted, it’s only been a month, but in that month I have felt taken care of, appreciated, excited, and acknowledged.

I like, no, I love, that I am getting outside more and being more active is a help too.

I ran up and down the big hill to their house twice today, ran races with my charges when I picked them up from school, was in the fresh air and the sunshine.

Yeah, like I said yesterday, I have put on a size since I stopped riding my bike five days a week.

But.

That’s ok.

My body is changing.

Today it is just perfect.

Maybe it’s not what I want it to be, but it serves me, takes care of me, carries around my brain with all its sickness and idiocy, does all that I ask it to do.

I’m in grad school, I work full-time, I need the extra time that having the scooter gives me, one day I won’t.

And when that happens I can go to yoga more or I can ride my bike more or I can swim.

Just because I’m not the “ideal size” doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me.

I have the exact body I am supposed to have and I am grateful for it.

Grateful, happy, content, cozy.

And.

When I got home from school I had a package in the mail from my dear friend in New York.

He’s been working on a movie now for a little while and it’s almost ready to be released and he’s selling t-shirts to raise money for the film.

It’s called: This Too, Shall Go Up In Flames.

I stripped out of my shirt and put on the t-shirt.

It’s a little big, I ordered it when I was feeling “fat” and got a bigger size than I should have, but fuck it, I love it and it can be a night-shirt or maybe I’ll have it taken in.

Do they take in t-shirts?

Who cares.

It’s an awesome shirt and I am excited to support a friend’s endeavor.

It’s pretty fucking cool.

It’s been a pretty fucking good day.

Not bad for a Monday.

Not bad at all.

 

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