First Day of School Eve

Tomorrow I start my PhD program.

Tomorrow!

How did it get here so quick?

This summer has just flown right on by.

I am happy to report that I am not anxious about it either.

I thought I might be, but I am so in the habit of being in school that it just feels like the start to another semester.

Albeit it the start to me actually getting to put a Dr. in front of my name at some point in the not too distant future.

PhD.

Doctorate of Philosophy.

The highest degree awarded.

And literally, that is what I am getting, a PhD in Philosophy.

I know many folks out there thought or think that I was going after my doctorate in psychology or my PsyD.

But I have no desire to be a prescribing psychiatrist, I’m not into the medical model.

Or do I have any desire to sit for the psychologist boards or licensure which is another 1500 hours on top of what one needs for MFT.

Which is already a crazy amount of hours at 3,000.

I currently have 621.

I have a long way to go before I get my hours for licensure, which is the point of going for the doctorate, I might as well, for by the time I have the degree I will be close to if not finished with accruing my hours.

So I will be a MFT, PhD.

I like the ring of that.

Dr. Carmen Martines LMFT, PhD.

I like the sound of that a lot.

I actually just got a super cute suggestion from a fellow after doing the deal tonight.

It was suggested that I do a first day of school photo.

I cracked the fuck up.

I have to do that!

First day of kindergarten?

Nope, first day of my doctorate.

Heh.

I feel pretty good about going into the intensive too and feeling light-hearted at the beginning will help me to get the work done that has to get done.

I’m not really certain how the six days at the intensive are going to go, but I am happy that I get to do it, that I got the time off from work, not paid, but whatever, fortunately for me I don’t have to pay rent on the first of the month so I will be ok financially.

Plus.

Hopefully, once the add/drop deadline passes I will get some of my financial aid disbursed to my bank account.

More money to find a new place to live.

I have still been looking, but haven’t made any overtures on anything, I can’t go see any apartments right now as I’m committed to the next six days to being in Pacifica.

I will be putting in the effort to find a new place after the intensive.

Of course I will be quite busy with whatever work the intensive throws at me, I know that there will be books to read, articles to read, papers to write.

I know I will have to be organized.

I know that I will have to be creative with my time and use it all very well.

But.

I am not afraid.

I was anxious a week ago, but for whatever reason, and I’m fine not knowing, just hella grateful it has happened, I don’t have anxiety about tomorrow.

Which is why I like the idea of taking a picture of myself on my first day of school.

It brings some levity to it, some laughter, and some silliness.

Fun has alluded me for weeks now and I could use a little in my life.

And if a photo happens to help me get there, well, expect to see me looking like a goofball somewhere soon on social media.

The other nice thing about the intensive is that it’s a late start.

The check in is at 4p.m.

There’s a welcome at 5p.m. and dinner at 6p.m.  I don’t think that there will be any classes that night, I expect that classes will start on Friday and that I will have a good idea of what I will be showing up for.

According to the email I got I don’t have to bring any of my books either, although I am thinking I will, if there’s down time I will do reading.

I know that one of the afternoons there is an actual “field trip” to the CIIS campus, as many in the cohort are coming in from out-of-state, or even out of the country, for the program, and have never been to the school itself.

I, however, have been to the campus plenty and have no need for a tour.

That day I figure I will be reading up and getting as far ahead on my reading as I can get to.

So far I have finished one book completely, and I’m three-quarters of the way through a second, as well as having picked up a third and knocked out about thirty pages in that as well.

Which, you know, still leaves me ten other books to read as well as whatever articles will be assigned.

I don’t think, fingers crossed, that any of the courses have readers, but I do know that there are a number of articles, many, many, many, for most of the classes.

I could also take down time to work on things for Grateful Heart.

I have an upcoming visit to Berkeley for next weekend to set up my bank account with the non-profit and get that part of the ball rolling.

Once that is set up I will be able to start the GoFundMe campaign.

And I need to figure out website, business cards, email, phone, and get a Square reader for my phone for credit card payments.

So many things.

But first things first.

A good nights sleep.

And a silly photo on my first day of school.

Then just showing up.

Everything else will follow.

It always does.

Tags: anxiety, articles, books, CIIS, Doctor of Philosophy, Doctoral degree, everything else will follow, finances, financial aid, first day of school, first day of school jitters, first things first, fun, GoFundMe, grad school, graduate school, Grateful Heart, intensive, learning, life, next action, out of state, Pacifica, papers, PhD, Philosophy, photo, PsyD, reading, recovery, Rent, San Francisco, school, semester, show up, showing up, suit up and show up, textbooks, therapy, truth, writing