Straight as an arrow.
The arrow of silver, Tiffany spun, you surprised me with, waking me from slumber–
Slipping into my room as I lay sleeping.
Never have I been so delighted.
Moved.
Shook.
I thought of that arrow today, it’s flight suspended between my clavicles, pointing to the stars that spangle my chest.
(Just added another one this past Friday)
Tempted to point out the fresh ink, the pink clementine orange of it, picture it, kiss it, and shoot you a photo of it with a wry smile.
Yet.
I did not.
I blocked you out, off my heart, off my soul, oft without you I have walked so long, why would it be any different now?
The crow flew over Jefferson Square park, a short walk from my house, dogs frolic in the late afternoon sun, and the murder gathered in the eucalyptus trees to spring full into the air twirling against the February sky.
Plum blossoms, pale pink and lavish purple, like bruises against the sky, tears of petals hanging from dark tree limbs.
Like the limbs burning on my back.
More work on the tattoo.
The one you inspired.
Two crows.
One cherry tree.
One heart.
Sometimes I think the pain is like the ghost of your hands on the backs of my shoulders.
Where you would hold me, whilst atop me, pushed in, face buried in my neck, arms under my shoulders, holding me as we became one and inseparable.
Yet.
Separate.
We are.
The crow reminded me of you, I said hello, carry my wishes forward to you upon the wind, but not my calls, my love letters or cards.
I am not sending them anymore.
I deleted you.
I blocked you.
I let you go.
Off into the high sky, like pastel balloons escaping a flower shop on Valentines Day.
Sigh.
Valentines Day.
Last year.
When I reached out to you once more.
That’s why, dearest, sweetest, dreamiest you, I deleted, blocked, and erased you, so I would not set the motion in momentum forward again.
No more.
No more calls.
No more poems.
No more kisses on your sweet face.
No more staring into your eyes.
No more falling in love with you.
Not that I believe I will fall out of love with you.
The love, I sense, does not die.
But it goes, it flings itself in a blue box in a drawer, like the blue sky against the wing of the crow as it flies away from me.
You have flown away from me.
I do not expect your return.
I never knew a love like this.
My exquisite corpse.
The crow in the copse.
My heart in my mouth.
The sky.
The sky.
The sky.
Like your eyes I fell into once upon a time.
In a land far, far away, The Sunset.
The sky is the only blue I will look into anymore.
Good bye my love.
Good bye my crow laughing at a funeral.
Good bye.
Auntiebubba 