Posts Tagged ‘Aids Life Cycle’

It’s A Date

July 21, 2014

Well, it took some negotiating.

But, I hear that’s what adults do, adults with full busy schedules, commitments, service, jobs, gigs, this, that, and the other.

However, we managed to nail down a date.

Thank God.

It’s that time of the month.

And no, I don’t mean, that time of the month.

I mean, the other one.

I know my cycle very well and I am entering the “oh my god I need to have sex” part of the month.

My body has rythms, they say all bodies do, women’s especially, the pull of blood, chemicals, hormones, the singing in the veins of lust and stars and mating, the proclivity of bodies to signal now, the time is now.

I know that a large part of that is the hormones signalling to my brain, hey, it’s time to have a baby, let’s get it on, send some little charges through the blood, make her notice that everything is a go.

And boy, do I notice.

And boy do I not want to make a baby.

But I do want to have sex.

Yes, please.


Thursday evening, at last, the scheduling will coincide and though it is still a school night for me, Friday is my easiest day.  I only have one charge and my start time is just a tiny bit later in the day.

As I only have that one charge on Friday I can also negotiate my morning routine a bit.

Right now I am on track to get up at 6:30 a.m.

I will hop up, take a shower, dry my hair, get dressed, make my bed, kneel down and ask to be guided through my day, take a moment to get right with God, than, onto breakfast, packing lunch and dinner (which is cooking as I blog-yellow and green split pea soup with chicken, garlic, onions, broccoli, and carrots, plus the stead fast pot of brown rice to accompany it), and coffee and three pages of long hand writing, then make up, then breakfast dishes, then out the door to MUNI by 8:10 a.m. so that I can make it to work by 8:45 a.m. in Cole Valley.


We had discussed confabbing this evening, but he wouldn’t be able to make it until 11/11:30 p.m.

That puts a crimp on the fooling around.

A serious crimp.

We want to be able to play where I will be able to get more than three hours of sleep before I have to be up for work.

It was a bit of a relief to get that out-of-the-way and to also acknowledge that though we both want to see each other, it’s just not as much fun when you have that kind of schedule restraint hanging over your head.

And fun is what it’s all about.

But balance makes the fun better.

I used to go to great extremes to get some fun in my life and the fact that I feel better and have a better time with my life, my experiences, everything from eating my breakfast to work to having sex to going to Burning Man, is better when I have balance.

It would have been fun to get a little nookie tonight, but not at the expensive of my morning practice or my job or my self-care.


I am better in the sack when I have had enough time in the sack.

If you catch my drift.

It also feels like I just got a day off, which is true, and I am already headed back into work, which is true too.


Sunday, a bit of rest, a bit of going to bed a reasonable hour and a bit of assuaging my libido.

It’s ok, lady pants, you will get yours soon.

Just take care of the rest of you and quiet that impervious urge.

I got to laugh at myself too, as soon as I got a little action I am all about getting action all the time.

Don’t poke the sleeping dragon.


The dragon has been poked.

And poked good.


So that’s the story and as I prepare for the week it’s nice to have a little something to look forward too.

And if I have my druthers we will reconvene the next time on a weekend.

At least that’s the hope.

I have become a regular Monday through Friday type of gal.

In fact, I spoke with one of my mom’s as we were winding up the week and just asked what her needs were once I returned from the playa and she and the family want me full-time Monday through Friday.


I asked that we also look to do a share on Thursdays and Fridays.

I have Monday through Wednesday covered, but to have an additional two days with a share, that is what is optimal for me.  That is what I want.  A full-time share.

Full time money.

I want to pay off the scooter and I want to get a new laptop.

Those are my financial goals for the rest of the year.

And perhaps buying a new bike.

I have two girlfriends very serious about doing the AidsLifeCycle Ride next year, one of whom has already registered, and I am not going to do it on my one speed.

No way.

Of course, that’s putting the bicycle before the horse, er cart, um.


I am not on the bike yet.

I figure one more week of MUNI and then I will be able to do some bicycle riding to work.

I went today without the ankle wrapped and it seems to be holding up alright.

It is still tender, but it’s getting better, it really is.

I don’t want to push it and there, that’s another reason why not getting any tonight is going to be a great idea for me.

I need to rest well to continue the healing.

Not that sex isn’t healing, it is, but so is sleep and in the best of both worlds, I will get both.

Just not until this Thursday.


Top 40

December 18, 2013

Reasons why my life is awesome.

In no particular order and to celebrate the last few hours left in my day before I turn 41 years old.

1. Getting sober.

My sobriety is the best thing in my life, without it I have absolutely nothing.  I got sober nearly nine years ago and though there have been some true challenging times, I have never looked back, never thought what I had is better than what I have.

My only wish, every birthday wish, every eyelash plucked off my cheek, every new moon rise I see over my left shoulder, every pinch of salt I toss, every time the clock strikes 11:11, every time I soar through a yellow light, the wish is the same.

Not please Santa/God/Universe bring me a boyfriend.

Please keep me sober today.

I could end the blog right there, but what fun would that be.

Besides I want to see what my top 40 are, I haven’t a clue!

2. Living in Paris

I leapt, I dreamed, I went after it.

It was terrifying and wonderful and surreal and I still don’t know what it all meant, but I did it and I am stupefied that I lived through it and am still getting to connect with people there.

3. Getting a bicycle.

“You really need to get a bike,” my friend Calvin said.


He was totally correct.

And once I got a bike, I never went back.

It all started with a hybrid from Pedal Revolution that I got about seven years ago.  Then a boyfriend gave me a Pogliaghi one speed Italian Steel whip.  God that was glorious.  After I was hit by a car and the frame got bent I went to a friends bike for a while that was too big and shifted on the down tube, don’t even remember what kind of touring cycle it was.  Then the Felt 35, which I rode doing the…

4. AidsLifeCycle 2010

The training rides, the butt butter, the saddle sores, the sag car (which I only rode in once and not ever during the actual event–I rode every 569 miles of that bitch), the drag queens on Red Dress Day.  Meeting my friend Shannon and her, not then, but soon to be, husband Alex, the man who came up to me while I was dancing in my clipless SiDi shoes at a rest stop on day 6 and said, “I know you’re doing this for Shadrach, and we all love you for it.”

5. Shadrach

Whom I still remember like yesterday.  An unexpected friendship that keeps on giving, even six years after his death.

6. The Essen Haus.

God you were a bitch to work at, but man, did I make some amazing friends there–Shannon, Stephanie, Beth, and I have horrifying, funny, and tortuous stories to tell of the place.

7. The Angelic Brewing Company

Oh, man, six years of my life running that place, the list is too long to thank all the people who affect me and infected my heart, I still get love and messages from one of the bar backs and bouncers there on every birthday, she remembers and finds me and sends me an e-mail or text or phone call.

All the mischief and all the growth.

8. Getting my black belt in Shaolin Kemp Karate.


9. Growing up in Wisconsin.

Yeah, and aside from  a “healthy” love of fried cheese dipped in ranch sauce, I won’t ever forget the winters, the summers, the snow, the fall colors, the apple orchards, Devil’s Lake, Rock of Gibraltar berry picking, the Lake Wisconsin Ferry boat crossing with bags of popcorn from the roadside stands.

10. My family

Whom I love beyond words.

11. Travel

London, Paris, Rome, Reno, Boston, Washington DC, Chicago, Miami, LA, Vegas, Seattle, San Francisco, San Juan, Puerto Rico, Saint Germaine-en-Laye, Toulouse, France, and so many other places in between.

12. Being asked for my autograph after a performance of “In Our Own Words.”

13. Burning Man

Just go read the gazillion blogs I have written, you’ll get the picture.

14. Being a nanny

a. Reno

b. Juniper

c. Ellaven

d. Milo

e. Rylan

f. Jones

g. Alice

h. Eve

i. Colette

j. Storm

k. Max

l. Sonya

m. Kareena

All the bunnies, monkeys, and pumpkins I could possible squeeze, squish, and love on.

15. Bachelor of Arts, University of Wisconsin, Madison, 2002

16. Certificate of Achievement in Independent Studies for the University Book Store Award for manuscript of poems, Translucent, 2002.

17. Getting published in the Bastille Spoken Word Journal of Paris, Summer Issue 2013 for my short story “The Button Boy”.

18. Recording and performing with Sunshine Jones of Dubtribe–music and lyrics–While You Were Sleeping, on his album Belle Ame Electronique.

19. Blogging every day for the last four years, this post will be #1,086

20.  My photography blog and really embracing the camera, and all the 1,000s of photographs I have taken since I got it.

21. My friends

I am nowhere without you.

No fucking where.

22. Trying surfing, trampolining, yoga, and learning how to ride a fixed gear.

23. My fantastic, amazing, incredible Mission Bicycle, my brilliant Navy Blue, RAL 5011, with a topcoat of Rock Star Sparkle and a big Classic Purple B52 rear rim.

24. Working a year in a bike shop

25. Moving to San Francisco

26. My tattoos

27. Seeing music live–Jeff Buckley, Underworld, Soul Coughing, M. Doughty, Beck, Pete Yorn, Goldfrapp, and so many other amazing musicians and shows.

28. Getting pulled onstage at the Spear Head concert by Michael Franti and dancing with him to an entire song.

29. Doing spoken word in Paris, San Francisco, Berkeley, and Madison

30. Having a spoken word album–Milk–which I don’t know that but five people have listened to.

31. Writing morning pages, three pages, long hand, every day for the last five years.

32. Moving to San Francisco in 2002

33. Riding my bicycle to the top of Mt. Tam

34. Getting pulled into the dj booth New Years Eve 2003 to dance with Donald Glaude at 1015.

35. Quitting smoking.

Eight years now.  Holy shit.  Almost forgot about that one.

36. All the museums I have gotten to visit.

The Louvre, SF MOMA, the Palace of Fine Arts, The DeYoung, Musee D’Orsay, the Orangerie, the Dali Museum, The Rodin Museum, Musee Branly, Musee Monet Momarttan, the Legion, the Pompidou, Musee Carnvalet, the National Gallery in London, the Tate Modern, also in London.

37. All the astounding, amazing, incredible, and wonderful women I have gotten to work with over the last eight and a half years.

38. Going abstinent from sugar and flour.

Losing 100 lbs.

39. Writing the rough drafts to three books.

40. Being alive to see and touch and taste and dance and sing and love.

Oh love.

How I low thee, let me count the ways.

I love so god damn much.

My heart so full.

Happy to be here another day, getting to be here another day, living another day.

Graced with my amazing life.



%d bloggers like this: