Posts Tagged ‘Blush’

Translucent Honey

September 12, 2019

On the time that covers you.

Golden down

Whisper quick

Flicked with lust


The first kiss

Blush of love.

September sun against surreal

Blue skies.

Your eyes

Blue too.

Pupils dilated.

I remember.

Oh soft my heart that does always bear such remembrance.

Push my memories aside.

Focus on the now

Cloud of time.

Reminisce no more my love.

Lost in songs,

Mixed tapes,

Love letters,

Tattooed messages of




Momentos of our brief,

Too brief.

So brief.

Why so fucking brief?


Yet there.


It goes again.

In the whippet quick beat of my heart

Pulse dancing to the possibility

That one day.


One day.

I will.

(yes please)

See you again.

Until then my sweet.


~Stay golden~


Slight Change Of Direction

October 12, 2011

I think.

I reserve the right to change my mind at any time.  Just as long as I follow through with action and not thinking about it.

I am not certain, but I may go to a different school than Aveda, and I suppose I don’t have to be certain right now, in this moment.  I can just be oh, I don’t know, present in this moment.

Which really should not be too hard as my fucking cat is kneading my leg so hard she’s sinking her claws into my leg.

Jesus fuck.

You know, I swear a lot, don’t I?

So, fucking what.


Well, anyway, here’s some more fun money news–that’s right another, institution of financial lending turned me down today.  Thanks for shutting the door on me Patelco.  I had a mere five minutes, perhaps even as little as three, of disappointment and irritation.  Then, it went away and was replaced by, alright, so now what?  I also had the thought of, “bless it or block it” and I think I’m getting the idea that I’m being blocked around this.

When this is happening I am in the park, at Mission Creek with the lady bugs and I literally look up at the sky and say, what ever you want, God.  Just show me the way.  I did not even bother to look around.   I may have startled the gentleman reading the morning paper on the bench five feet away, but he did not say anything to me and I just pretended I had not noticed him. Until we walked past and he smiled and gave a grandfatherly like wink to me.


But, you know, maybe it was for the best.  Maybe it’s time to look at another program.  Maybe I should not just throw my hat and my non-existent money at Aveda.  I decided today to check out Blush Make Up School on Market St. ( and I really liked the looks of the program.

I had a friend that attended years ago, I placed a phone call to him to pick his brain.  Then I called the school up and talked to the head of their admissions department.  He asked me some very specific questions about what I was looking for as I mentioned to him that I had applied to Aveda but was having some thoughts about exploring all my options.

After answering those questions and listening to what he had to say about the school and the curriculum they offer, I made the decision to go in and take a tour and find out more information.  I have a tour scheduled for this Thursday. The program that I am most interested in is the Master’s Make Up program.

It would be a five month program if I went full-time or a seven month program if I go part-time.  The tuition is still expensive, but $4,500 less than Aveda’s esthiology program.  And it’s focus is all on make up with maybe a little skin care tossed in there.  I would learn theater make up, cat walk and fashion make up, I would learn television and film make up, special f/x, wedding, and traditional photography.

This is more up my alley, I realized after a few minutes of listening to the director talk.  I want to work in fashion and entertainment.

Eek.  Who said that?

Yeah, that was me, the closet Vogue reader (and W and Elle and Nylon and French Vogue, shhhh…I actually have a magazine and book allowance in my spending plan, I love fashion magazines, my little addiction aside from lip balm and caffeine).  I want to do make up for famous people.

Or on famous people.

Or just on fabulous people.

Or just on people period.

Really, when I was completely honest with myself, yeah, I like the idea of doing skin care and spa work, but what really gets me excited is the idea of doing make up, of styling some one for a fashion shoot.  I fancy myself a bit of a Grace Coddington.  That is what I want to do.  And so what if it’s frivolous and frou frou.  And so what if I aspire to wear eclectic clothes to work and maybe even get a neck tattoo.

I can do that in fashion and not be looked at askance.  I also have a great rapport with people and I would be creatively expressing myself.

The tuition is steep, but with what I would receive from Federal Financial Aid I would not be as far in the hole as I would be with Aveda either.  It would only run me about $1,800 our of pocket versus $4,000.  That’s a huge chunk for some one who doesn’t know where they are going to work in three weeks.

I also had another talk with S’s mom today and let her know that I might be changing direction as I got turned down again for loans.  I told her about Blush and that I had a tour scheduled for Thursday, I may be able to help them help me out for a few more weeks.  I may not.  I don’t know for certain.  But I still plan on being done with the nanny by the end of this year.  That was what my God letter said, I would be done being a nanny by the end of this year.

Some thing else will be happening.

Of course, it is all in motion and I don’t know where it’s going, but I will let you in on a little secret, I don’t feel as insane about it as I was.  I don’t know if I have turned a corner, but I wasn’t in financial fear today.  I just went about my day and I enjoyed the fuck out of the sunshine.  Give it to me.

That could all change tomorrow, but that’s tomorrow and I am not there yet, so I choose to stay on this path and see where it leads.

I may still fall on my ass, but you know, so what.

It’s a damn cute ass.

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