I mean.
I know it’s Thursday, but honestly, I had to check a few times today to remember.
The days they are blurring together.
I’m not upset about that, it is just interesting, how malleable time has become.
I have a good routine.
I got up with an alarm today.
I had group supervision on Thursday mornings.
Since shelter in place I get to “sleep in” on Thursday mornings until 7a.m., days when I would have driven cross town I would have been up at 6a.m.
There are some benefits of shelter in place, I won’t deny it.
There are many drawbacks, but I bet you already know what those are.
I’m just going to keep it on the up and up for the most part, at least today, whatever day it is, whatever month it is.
I had a client mention the three day weekend and I was like, what three day weekend?
Oh.
Ha.
Memorial Day is Monday.
I don’t have plans.
Well.
Not true.
I have hella clients.
Monday is my busiest day.
I will have seven client sessions, some weeks I have eight.
I definitely start the week off with a bang.
I also have some down time in the middle of it so it doesn’t blow me completely to bits, but yeah, Monday won’t be a holiday for me.
And I will soon really be in it as I will start picking up teenagers next week with the contract position with Daily City Youth Clinic.
I am going in tomorrow to do the last bits of orientation and pick up a “stack of files I have waiting for you,” from my newest supervisor.
I will be slamming right into the work.
Which is great, I am not complaining.
Again, it will keep my busy, it will keep me from ruminating or feeling lonely.
It may also blast out my brain a bit, I am a little concerned about being on my laptop so much. I am definitely booking a lot of screen time.
With picking up another batch of clients that will only increase.
I was actually not sure about blogging tonight.
I mean, I wanted to, but I also was thinking I might want a break from my screen.
But, oh, the siren song of writing a blog and not writing something academic.
Well.
It surely called to me.
So here I am, on day whatever it is, writing to you about my day, which really was pretty chill and not dramatic and simple and when I am honest in my heart, very sweet.
I didn’t hang out with anyone but myself, and I like myself quite a bit, so I’m like, you know, fantastic company.
I had some really great phone calls.
I went on a long walk up and around Sutro Heights Park, which overlooks Ocean Beach and it was gorgeous and stunning and filled my eyes and heart and soul with goodness and beachiness and the smell of the Monterey pines and the Eucalyptus was so good.
So good.
The bright peppery smell of orange and yellow nasturtiums, the blooms of jasmine, the roses, pink sherbet swirled, lulling fat fuzzy bumble bees in for sweet repose.
It was good.
Then I walked the avenues for awhile.
I’m out on 48th Avenue and up a hill, so not many folks out walking and that’s nice.
I even took a break from calling people names, in my head, I don’t do it their faces, about not wearing masks.
Who am I to tell another how to live.
Funny, though, how often I have been prescribed a specific role.
Funny how I often say, um, no thanks, I’m going to do it my way.
So.
I know that it’s not helpful to tell people what to do and saying douche bag in my head only affects my experience.
I’m trying to gently curb it.
Sometimes I substitute, “oh look at you and your cute privilege!”
But even that snark doesn’t do me much good.
The best thing for me is to gently remind myself that I can only police myself and act with integrity in all my affairs.
I don’t have to tell others what to do, I mean, I have had plenty of experience with that and it’s no fun.
Keep my side of the street clean and move the fuck on.
And walk where there are not so many people.
And call my friends.
And make plans for when this moves away and it will, I don’t know when or how, but this too shall pass.
Go see my dear friend in Florida.
Go see my best friend in Wisconsin and as long as I’m in that neck of the woods, get in a visit with my oldest friend from high school in Minnesota.
Go to New York and hit up the museums, New York has really been on my mind, maybe because I am wearing a dress I bought here in San Francisco that I associate with New York–I bought it specifically for the last trip to New York I had.
I wore it to the Brooklyn Museum to the David Bowie installation and walked around Judy Chicago’s beautiful piece The Dinner Party.
It was hot.
The dress is red and I felt and feel pretty in it.
It makes me think of warm summer nights and wandering through the city.
I love New York.
There is still a little piece of me that thinks I should live there, but I’m here and I love San Francisco too, and well, frankly, it is prettier.
Although I sense I might have more adventures in New York than I have here, but that’s speculation.
New York just holds a special place in my heart.
I also want to visit my best friend from my Master’s cohort in Paris.
Paris, my love, I am ready to see you again too.
Hell.
I’m ready to see the rest of San Francisco.
Sit in my favorite cafe and drink a really hot latte and have girl friend time with my best girl out here.
Go get a mani/pedi.
Oh!
Eat lunch at Souvla.
Yeah.
I know I could get take out, but I want to sit in the back patio and stare at the sky and people watch.
I have a good routine.
I have many, many, many blessings.
I am grateful.
I am graced.
I also have feelings and I miss things and travel and adventures.
I miss people.
Even though I am good company to myself, I miss the touch of another’s hand, a hug, a shoulder to set my head on.
This too shall pass.
This too shall pass.
This too shall pass.
Auntiebubba 