Posts Tagged ‘Covered California’

That’s Ok

November 18, 2016

It’ll be taken care of.

I have the money.

God must want the city to have a few more bucks.

Just the cost of living in the city.

It’s going to happen once in a while.

I know better next time.

All the thoughts that went through my head when I saw my scooter.

Shoot!

I got a parking ticket.

I was downtown heading to my appointment to get Covered California, which I did not get, I’ll explain in a minute, and I parked between to cars off of Grant Street.

I really didn’t think I was going to get a ticket, but the truth is, I did have a pricking in my thumbs and I was hoping that I wouldn’t be at the office that long and god damn, even on a scooter it’s hella hard to find parking where I was going.

Spring Street, which is where the office is located, doesn’t even have parking on it at all.

Next time.

If there’s a next time.

I’ll pay to park in the garage.

I got popped with an $81 dollar ticket.

The nice thing was that I wasn’t upset.

I was like, well, shoot.

Then I thought.

I’ve paid for the time, I got out of the Healthy SF office far sooner than I thought, as I didn’t end up applying to Covered California, and I pulled out my camera and took some photographs.

It reminded me of the time, about four years ago, that I took a photography class with a mentor and walked around China Town with him taking hundreds of photographs.

I looked up entranced by the red dragon ledges of the building I was parked next to.

Then, I turned and Grant street, right there, so many colors and juxtapositions of signs and lamp-post and hanging lanterns, panda posters, hot pink, lime green, window displays, all the golden dragons floating across the faces of the buildings.

I was entranced and shot a rapid number of frames.

Pictures that I have been trying desperately for the last hour to figure out how to download to my computer.

I really don’t know what’s going on with it, but it won’t recognize the files.

This has happened before and I can’t remember how I got it to recognize the format of my camera and down load the photos.

I spent way too much time on it and I finally gave it up and got in the shower, which is what I should have done much sooner, I am already up past my “bed time” on a school night.

Yes.

That’s right.

Class is in this weekend.

And I have papers to turn in and lectures to attend and friends to catch up with.

I am looking forward to seeing my friends.

Not so much to classes, if the truth may be told, I’m not loving the classes I’m in quite as much as last semester, but that’s ok, I’m sure that will happen once in a while, the material is sufficient and I’m learning, I’m just not finding myself connecting with two out of the three classes as much as I would like.

So it goes.

I need to take some proactive actions this weekend around my practicum stuff too, I’ll be sitting through my lunch hour in an open house.

So much for taking a break, ever.

Ha.

Or catching a break.

I almost skipped over the didn’t get health insurance today.

It costs too much.

“Oh, that’s too much,” she said shaking her head, “you can’t afford that.”

Yeah, no shit.

I was in tears.

“Oh, no, don’t cry,” she said and patted my arm.  “My daughter’s in the same boat, she’s a nanny too.”

Ah.

Those that do the work, sometimes they get glossed over, looked over, left behind, but I won’t be upset, I won’t.

Nope.

I’m going to be grateful.

Because.

The agency is going to let me do Healthy San Francisco for another year.

Thank you!

Yes.

I will take a hit at tax time and get a penalty for not having health insurance, fuck you very much, last year it was $85 per month that I didn’t have insurance.

Whatever.

The cost of the lowest usage, least covered of the packages was still over three times greater in price than what I am paying using Healthy SF.

So.

Even taking a fine on for each month is less than what I would pay.

Plus the copays are stupid.

$75 to see my primary doctor.

Fuck you.

I won’t ever go, what’s the point?

I said thank you so much to the woman who helped me, nearly gave her a hug I did, and wrote up a really nice five-star comment about her service and slipped it into the suggestion box in the lobby before I left.

I had tons of time before work.

What do I want to do?

Get my scooter and move it now.

Too late.

There’s the ticket.

Oh well.

I was actually ok with it, I really was, I mean, hell, I thought, just the cost of finding out that I was going to stick with the health plan and services that I have currently.

I took out my camera, took my pictures, then decided I would go to Rainbow Co-operative and do some retail therapy.

I bought five pounds of Stumptown Holler Mountain coffee.

I got a discount of 10% off the cost of it for buying it in bulk and yes, I will drink it faster than you think I will.

Shhh.

I have a small, heh, caffeine habit.

Don’t tell.

I got myself a few fat and sassy persimmons.

I picked up a bottle of my favorite raw chocolate drink from Rau.

I got myself a box of Christmas cards.

It’s almost that time again.

I got some Mexican chocolate candles.

God damn they smell good.

I got some nice tea to bring to school tomorrow.

I bought some organic nutmeg in bulk.

Because nutmeg.

Then I hopped on my scooter and got to work.

Work was busy.

Another sick boy.

Another batch of broccoli soup.

And chili.

Grandparent visit and the grandpa really loves my chili so whenever they are in town I whip up a batch.

One monstrous big temper tantrum.

But.

It worked its way out and the oldest boy and I had a really sweet moment when we were navigating his feelings.

“When was the last time you got mad?” He asked me.

“Hmmm,” I thought about it, “oh!  Today, well, I was not super mad, but I got a little mad, I got a parking ticket on my scooter.”

“You did?” The mom called out from her office, “how much was it for?”

“Ugh, $81,” I said, “but I had a feeling I shouldn’t have parked there, and well, I learned to trust that voice again.”

“Do you have it?” The mom asked.

“No, I paid it immediately, dropped a check in the mailbox before coming to work,” I replied, and ruffled the eldest boys hair and squeezed his shoulder.

“How much was it?  $81?” The mom asked coming through the kitchen.

“Here,” she said and set $81 in cash on top of my purse, “I always pay a person’s parking ticket, it’s good karma.”

“What?  Are you serious, thank you!”  I was so startled, and grateful, it made me laugh, I truly believed I was going to come into money today and that my ticket was going to be negated.

And it was.

“Absolutely, if I hear someone got a parking ticket I always pay it,” she said and went back to her office, saying as she walked away, “it really is good karma.”

Holy moly.

Thanks boss lady!

Taken care of.

Just.

Like.

That.

Happy.

Joyous.

Free.

All the damn time.

Seriously.

Pete The Cat

November 17, 2016

Is a co-dependent.

Seriously.

Have you read the one about him and the goldfish?

I couldn’t help my commentary as I was reading the story to my charges today.

It cracked me up.

Takes one to know on.

I’ve gotten a lot better though, more advocating for myself and more letting myself have the things that I need to have to take care of myself.

After all.

It’s hella hard to take care of others if I haven’t taken care of myself.

I’ve been doing pretty good at that of late.

I got up early and made coffee and got my breakfast started, but did not eat it, I don’t like how I feel if I eat breakfast before yoga, it’s not a good feeling.

But I knew it was going to be a little tight this morning to do all the things I wanted to do before I had to leave for work.

So.

Yeah.

I made breakfast and set it aside before I went to the studio.

I really wanted to get in one more day at the studio before the school week begins.

Tomorrow I can’t, I’ll be heading down town to the Healthy San Francisco offices.

I don’t qualify for Healthy SF anymore, I’m just covered until January, so I need to get all my stuff together and apply for Covered California.

Which is actually real health insurance.

Healthy SF is not, but I’ve used it and every year at tax time I get dinged for it not being “real” insurance and I have to pay a fine.

I love how this country likes to punish those who don’t have enough by taking away their resources.

I always have a bit of snit when I have to pay the fine for not having health insurance, it just seems a bit unfair.

I can’t afford health insurance, so let me pay a fine for not having health insurance.

Fuck you.

Anyway.

I’m ready to have the real thing and I’m hoping it won’t be too expensive.

I know it will be more than I have been paying and I’m just going to be fine with it.

Paying for my glasses this past year out-of-pocket, since Healthy SF doesn’t cover eye care or dental, was really expensive.  I’d like to not do that again.

I figure between the fine and what the costs of my two sets of glasses were I can afford to do the Covered California.

I believe I will be taken care of.

So I took care of all the minutiae that they require and printed off my bank statement and my payroll stubs.

I’m set.

I just have to go in, hand them my paper work, fill out the application and decide what plan to choose.

Preferably one with dental and eye care.

Then I work and get my shit together for the school weekend.

I got no reading done today.

I was hoping to get a nap, but the baby was teething.

Argh.

And the boys, her brothers were both home early from school.

There was really no break and there was certainly no down time to do any of my school reading.

But.

Ultimately.

I am ok with that as my papers are written and I did reading for all my classes.

I’m not that far behind, just not completely caught up and frankly, I’m so happy I cranked out my paper this past weekend I don’t really care.

I looked at myself today and smiled.

“You’re doing a good job kid,” I said.

I believed it, it’s nice to look around and have my stuff taken care of, food is prepped up, my papers are in their school folder, stacks of books on my desk, laundry done, I just need to show up and participate.

And.

Well.

I’m pretty good at that.

And stay awake.

I always have a challenge getting enough sleep the weekends I’m in school.

I get somewhere between five and six hours when I normally get 8.

By the end of the weekend I’m a little bonkers.

But.

I keep looking towards next week with a sweet longing, I will have days and days and days off.

I will sleep in.

I may not even do homework.

Ok.

That’s probably not true.

But.

Oh.

What would it be like to do some pleasure reading?

Actually read something that is fiction.

God damn that sounds so fucking sexy.

Maybe I will bring one book to enjoy.

I’ll probably wait until Christmas though, when I travel back to Wisconsin, and let myself have a few good thick books for the winter break.

I’ll get about two weeks of not having to read for school.

Although the break is longer than that, it’s almost a month if I recall from last year, but the syllabi usually get released and I’ll need to be doing reading for the start of the second semester fairly quick.

I remember how fast it snuck up on me last year and I was like.

Shit.

I have to start reading now!

I don’t need to feel that kind of panic going into the second semester.

And I will need to start preparing for my practicum and where I’m going to intern.

Fuck.

That’s going to be more work too.

Always the work.

But.

I suppose I’m used to it by now and I’m getting better and time management and I have to say, I’ve been good about not engaging with my social media right away in the morning.

I give myself my morning.

Nice breakfast.

Time to do my morning routine, drink some coffee, do some writing.

Read when I can.

So the first few hours of the day are mine alone and I’ve become a little greedy with those hours, ignoring messages or calls or texts until I have done all the writing and coffee and reading and getting ready for my day.

I’m being selfish.

Or.

As I prefer.

I’m taking care of myself.

Poor Pete the Cat by the end of the story has painted everyone in his family a goldfish painting, everyone in his class, his school bus driver, his grandma, even the mayor at Cat City Hall wants a painting from Pete the Cat.

Pete’s got homework.

Pete’s got to feed Goldie his goldfish.

Pete looks exhausted.

Pete gets a great idea and paints one huge painting for the whole city and puts it up in the middle of downtown.

I’d rather just learn from Pete’s lesson, although I don’t think the author was going for a co-dependent kitten, I got the message loud and clear.

Taking care of myself is the best way to help those around me.

And I do want to help.

So.

With that.

I’m out.

I need to eat a persimmon and have some tea before bed.

And.

Maybe a video.

Even Pete would approve of that.

Good night.

Cats and kittens.

It’s been a good day.

And.

It’s all groovy.

Pete would approve of that too.

It Was A Long Day

November 15, 2016

And now it’s done.

Thank God.

I was up at 6 a.m.

At work at 8 a.m.

Worked 9.5 hours.

Held screaming baby for 2.5 too many hours.

Then screaming baby fell asleep on me for too many hours.

And I got no homework done.

But.

I had warm, snuggling baby on my heart and that makes for happiness.

Then after work a long scooter ride over the city and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go.

Wait.

What?

Sorry.

I know this is going to sound crazy.

But.

Yes.

I was signing Christmas carols earlier.

Shhh.

Not because I’m in some jolly good spirit or something.

No.

There’s a story book the baby likes, she’s not really a baby, she’s 20 months, but she likes it and it’s about seasons and in the winter season there is a picture of a group of old-fashioned carolers.

And one day a few weeks ago she said, “sing,” and pointed at the picture and I have no idea why, but I just started in on Deck The Halls and one thing led to another and there I am weeks before Halloween and I’m singing “Jingle Bells” and “Hark The Herald Angels Sing” and “White Christmas” and god only knows what else.

I know more Christmas carols than I knew.

Good gravy man.

So.

Yes, I sang some carols to get her to go back down to sleep.

She, the baby has been sick.

Me, the other baby, has been sick too.

Not so much that I needed to call off anything.

Not so much that I needed to cancel anything.

But I tell ya.

Riding over cross town to Amherst Street to hang out in a recreational room with a bunch of strangers and do the deal was not what I wanted to be doing after a long ass day with a sick tired baby, my brain, and another sick tired baby, my charge.

However.

That’s pretty much what happened.

And.

I have to say.

Grateful.

It was good.

I connected.

There was solution and I told parts of my story that I don’t always tell since it was a women’s only facility.

Good times.

And.

I saw the moon rise!

It was glorious.

I was way up in the Hills, Goat Rock Park, and turning towards Twin Peaks and I saw it through the trees and gasped.

I had to pull over.

I smacked myself on the head.

Why hadn’t I brought my new camera to work!?

Ugh.

But my new case is not here yet and I didn’t want it bouncing around in my scooter basket and oh well, but I took a picture with my heart.

It was big and orange like a persimmon.

It glowed like only the moon can and it rose slow, majestic, golden blood orange pumpkin ice cream, sherbert frosting sweet over the bay.

It took my breath away.

I was not the only person who had pulled over.

There was a little crowd of us on the edge of the sidewalk and the traffic leaving was a little kooky, but it was so worth the stop.

When I look at my life and what it could have been, where it was going, and then the sharp, amazing detour that it took, I am blessed beyond belief.

I will admit to being a bit grumpy.

A bit cranky.

A bit put out.

I really just wanted to come home after work, or go to my 6:30pm. doing the deal in the Inner Sunset, but that moon, that perspective, and then the gratitude I felt getting to leave the residential treatment on Amherst.

Fuck.

That was a good feeling.

I didn’t do rehab.

I didn’t do sober living.

I didn’t go to a hospital.

I detoxed in a church basement on Dolores and 19th.

I ate the cookies.

I bummed the cigarettes.

I drank a lot, A LOT, of really not so good coffee.

I was taken care of, I still am.

How could I not be grateful to do the service I did tonight?

Rehabs and treatment centers and homes freak me out a little, I have to say, they scare me, and I think I’m really freaking lucky that I got in the way I did and got to circumnavigate that experience.

And I know how much they help people.

I just can’t imagine having to do it.

I don’t know that I could have and I’m grateful I didn’t have to.

And yeah.

Life is good.

So I have a cold.

But I’m still going to go to yoga in the morning.

8:30 a.m. class.

I work at 1 pm-7pm so I’m hoping in between the shower and breakfast and coffee and morning pages writing after yoga I’ll be able to sneak in a little reading for work.

I’ll hie over to 7th and Geary after work and sit in another church basement tomorrow night.

I have a thing for church basements.

Heh.

I’ve got a full week.

I have a Covered California appointment downtown Thursday morning to fill out the application for health insurance through them, fingers crossed that all goes well.

Plus all the work this week, all the commitments.

And then school on Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

A speaking engagement Sunday night.

And right back to work at 8 a.m. on Monday.

Just like today.

Whew.

But.

Oh and this is a big but.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

I will only have a two-day work week next week!!

It’s Thanksgiving and my darling friend invited me to Nevada to hang out with her family and her sweet dogs and I’m gong to have a five-day weekend!

I am over the moon and I will be so ready for a break by that point.

I also have been saving my ducats so that the days off from work will be covered.

I’ll get paid for the holiday off but not for the other days.

It’s not going to matter.

I’m totally cool.

I worked extra last week and I’ve been frugal with my money this month.

I might be wanting to bring a few bucks with me for some holiday shopping with my friend or just splurging on coffees out and what not.

Oh.

I’m so excited.

Life.

So big.

So full.

So damn gorgeous.

Just like that splendid moon rise this evening.

I am.

Luckiest girl in the world!


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