Posts Tagged ‘Craftsman and Wolves’

Why Is She Hugging

January 16, 2015

The working guy?

I could almost hear the thought bubble over the mom’s head as she pulled out to run errands this afternoon.

I had been sent out to BiRite to procure food to make dinner, the pizza party was a smashing success in case you were wondering, for the evening.

I love going to BiRite.

It’s just far enough away that I can stretch my legs, but not too far that I can’t do the trip in a decent amount of time.

I could even bicycle over there, I don’t know why I haven’t thought of that before now.

Most times, though, I am with one or two of the boys.

A double stroller in that store is a ticket to resentment and anger, so I don’t often do that.  Most times, I’m with the littlest guy and we make an early run before lunch and naps.

There was none of that this morning, waist deep in potty training and using the current favorite work, “NO!” at top vocal capacity, there was no going to the store.

There was no leaving the bathroom for a while.

I walked into twenty-minute tantrum this morning.

And so it goes.

Feelings they happen.

When I am having them, off, I think they are going to last forever.

“I just don’t want to feel anymore,” she said to me tonight on the phone.

Don’t I know it.

That’s why I spent over half of my life checking the fuck out.

I am a sensitive creature.

I don’t want to have feelings either.

Although they are the things that make life so very interesting.

I don’t care for them.

Unless they are ecstatic, euphoric, happy all the time, tinged with upbeat excitement, tingling anticipation, spiked with a little adrenalin and orgasmic in nature.

Then.

Bring them the fuck on.

I mean.

Hell yes.

But regular old feelings?

Pain, grief, sorrow, ambivalence, boredom, anxiety, worry, depression.

No thank you.

No, really, I’m not interested.

I’ll take serenity though, calmness, peacefulness, contentment, these are some feelings I’m down with too.

The thing is, I will always have a bundle of them.

The thing is, feelings are not facts.

The frustration of potty training and the anxiety of feeling and acknowledging his own unique self has made my little two and a half-year old a little wild.

What is happening?

I don’t like it!

Make it stop!

Give me Skittles!

Ugh.

The mom was a peach though and said, you run without him to BiRite and I’ll put him down for his nap before I have to head out.

Deal.

I grabbed the money, a cloth bag, and my phone and hit the road.

I got to make a few phone calls, check in with a few folks, get some perspective on my day.

I went to confirm a meeting for tonight and was cancelled on, she’s sick.

There’s some super bug going around, I keep avoiding it by the skin of my teeth.  I got the flu vaccination, so there’s that, but I suspect it’s also being a nanny, I’m pretty immune.

Knock on wood.

It’s been a hot second since I’ve been sick.

I’ll take a big pass on it.

Especially since I have a big weekend coming up.

I had made reservations at Samovar tea lounge for a celebration party but it was cancelled on me, so I’ll be heading for a nosh up to the Firewood Cafe in the Castro.

It’s pretty casual, but it’ll hold a bunch of folks and it looks like there’s anywhere from 8 to 11 people showing up.  We can grab a bunch of tables, get cozy and hang out.

I’ll be coming from Castro Tattoo where my friend Barnaby will be planting my 10th star on my neck.

Excited for that.

Excited too for the dancing after dinner and a meet up with some fellows in Noe Valley.

I’ve got some friends coming in from Berkeley, Castro Valley, and Alameda who I realize I haven’t seen all together like this since we were all hanging out at Burning Man.

There will likely be talk of Burning Man at the table.

I do that thing.

I don’t know if I will this year, but I want to.

I have to wait and find out about graduate school before making any solid plans for the event.

I would feel really weird, though, to not go.

This year would be year number 9 for me.

I may have to be in school, and if I get in, that’s going to have to take priority.

Then again, I could go pre-event.

I know enough folks to get into some sort of service position there to get an early arrival pass.

“Are you going to go this year?” My darling friend asked, she’ll be going back for her second time and has begun the preparing.

You may scoff, but really, I prepare for the damn thing year round at this point.

If I see something that makes sense for me to go to Burning Man with, I get that thing.  I have socks and tights that I rarely wear out, though I suppose I could, I do live in San Francisco, which though heavily gentrified in parts, is still a wild creative place.

I felt like I got to be that little bit of special flavor today as I walked around a group of tourists in front of Craftsman and Wolves on Valencia Street.

Oh look.

A local out shopping.

Yes.

Oh and what colorful tattoos.

Yes, now move, I have places to go and things to cook.

Today I made ginger chicken stir fry with celery and green onions, sushi rice, and prepped fruit.

I saw my friend as I was turning the corner and went up to sneak in a hug before getting my cook on.

The grin on his face was beaming.

We hugged.

He had just celebrated an anniversary the day before mine.

We both could have floated off the ground.

It was awesome.

The mom pulled out of the garage and gave me the strangest look.

I know a lot of folks.

I do.

Even some that happen to work on the house doing gardening and construction.

Or just down the block at the coffee shop or at the playground, the corner market, the bike shop, the hipster clothing store clerk, the check out gal at the farmers market, I know a lot of folks in the Mission.

And I try to hug as many of them as I can.

Not a bad way to break up the work day at all.

And tomorrow.

Is Friday.

Bring on the three-day weekend!

Yup.

I got Monday off.

First time I have ever been given Martin Luther King Jr. Day off.

Pretty stoked.

I’ll still have plenty to keep me occupied.

That’s for sure.

And maybe I’ll hug another working guy too.

I like working guys.

Advertisements

Short Week

November 25, 2014

Starts out with a bang.

A caffeine bomb with my friend the Mrs. Fishkin in the Mission at Craftsman and Wolves.

It’s about the only thing that I will get at said eatery/cafe/decadence palace of divine sugar and pastry concoctions.

That and a few minutes to sit and chat and catch up with my friend who has been such a love and support through so many of my trials and tribulations.

It was great to check in and nice to have high end nanny go juice to start out the day.

I took the youngest boy over to Dolores Park after I had fueled up and swings were swung and sand box was dug into and the view was so mighty and all San Francisco that it blew me open to stand at the precipice of the park and think of all the time that I have gotten to live in this fair city by the Bay.

We had a nice little romp then strolled back to the house with a quick stop on the way back to make a market run.

Milk, eggs, spinach, mushrooms, bananas, apples.

Staples.

Then, a slight melt down at the market, which precipitated going home and going right into a nap.

Which was alright with me.

I had cooking to do.

Today I made a spinach and mushroom frittata with garlic and parmesan cheese.

Frittata

Frittata

I rather love this about my job, getting to cook and run to the market is a deeply satisfying thing for me.

I do have to be careful though to parcel  out my time so that I can do the food prep and cook whatever it is that I am making for the family to coincide with giving myself an adequate break.

If I wait too long I won’t get enough time to sit down and eat my own meal.

This almost happened today and I had a premonition I might not have the normal amount of nap time that I get on a Monday.

I was right.

And very glad that I sat down and ate my lunch before the little guy was up and about.

I needed to be conserving my energy for swim class.

Monday’s are a full day and I can get overwhelmed with them if I don’t practice taking care of myself.

I can get very prideful of the job that I do and want to be on top of everything–laundry, market, food prep and cooking, tidying the various toy areas, having the diaper bag packed and stocked with snacks and milk and then add a swim day into the mix and I have a gigantic pile of stuff to organize.

“Oh my God!” The mom texted me this afternoon while I was in the middle of sauteing the garlic and mushrooms for the fritatta.

“I forgot today is a swim day, are you ok with everything?” She asked and then a few minutes later came into the kitchen from the upstairs, “I completely spaced, and I,” she paused.

“You are shockingly on top of everything,” she glanced around the kitchen.

And I was.

And it was nice to be acknowledged.

“Have you sat down and taken a break yet?” She added.

“I am just about to,” I said and gestured to the large kale salad I had on the counter top.  “I am just going to finish up with the frittata and I will sit down and eat.”

“Good!  Please do!”  The mom went back to mom stuff and I finished pouring the eggs into the pan and prepped the boys plates for dinner.

Egg pizza and fruit.

Not that difficult a thing to make, but lovely to be acknowledged for the effort and to also be reminded to take the time to rest for myself.

A tired nanny is not a fun nanny or a productive nanny.

Life is really busy for me right now, and that’s a great thing, but I want to make sure that I take my rest when I can and not push too hard.

I have plenty more to accomplish.

This being a short week I am thrilled to have some extra time.

For sleeping in and other things.

And for working on my graduate school application.

The fall semester for 2015 is now open for application.

I got the second letter of recommendation lined up, affirmed that today, I have to send her the link for it as well as provide my other recommender my letter of intent so that she has a template to work from.

I will be working on all of that this weekend.

“Just send them a link to your blog,” she said to me tonight over tea at Boderlands Cafe on Valencia Street and 20th.

I love that I can meet up with the people in my life that I need to see on a weekly basis at a cafe a block from work.

I laughed.

It’s not a bad idea.

In fact, now that I am thinking of it, I could very well include a blog from the time when I had the epiphany, at yes, Burning Man, about going to graduate school to be a child therapist.

The fact that I have an active, current, spiritually principled blog may be just the ticket for the part of the application that is concerned with my quest for spiritual guidance.

I know.

I sound very crunchy and granola and let me be frank, I sort of am, but I don’t go around rubbing my Birkenstocks under people’s noses.

It’s helps that I don’t own a pair.

So much of my path has to do with guidance and love and spirituality (not religion thank you, I have no denomination I affiliate myself with) that it may look like I am a big old hippie.

Disguised underneath a hipster one speed riding San Franciscan with a lot of tattoos.

I am not definable, nor is my practice, but it is there, here, all around me, and despite not having definition, it is tangible and I believe I will be able to translate that well and succinctly in my application.

And if not.

Then perhaps this path is not for me.

But I won’t know until I apply.

And for that I express gratitude for Thanksgiving and the gift of time.

Four day weekend here I come!


%d bloggers like this: