I’m going to Burning Man!
Fuck yes.
Hell yes.
Whoopee!
My family gave me the time off.
Time off for my school retreat (paid vacation, although it’s called a retreat it did not feel like one last year, I hear it’s not as bad as the first year, but whatever, it’s still school, ain’t no vacation) the week in August that I need.
August 7th-14th I’ll be in Petaluma.
And like a complete repeat of last year I will leave the retreat and head straight to Glen Ellen to nanny for the family from August 15th-24th.
Then I will leave there, head back to San Francisco, pack my shit, and head up to Placerville with one of my new camp mates, as yet unknown, to join the new playa family I will be working for this Burning Man, 2016.
On 8/25 I’ll care pool with some one in the crew to Placerville.
8/26 I’ll help the mom with the kids, yes, I’ll be nannying two this year, which is a first, but there is also grandma at camp, the eldest will be 3 1/2 by time of playa and has already been there three times, no four.
The baby will be 9 months, which is actually a great time, and means lots of snuggling and holding a baby, um, something I quite love and miss even though I get lots of love and snuggles from my boys, baby snuggles are something so delicious and I rather miss them.
Plus, both will be napping still and I am not going to be alone in the work. So I feel quite comfortable with the set up.
8/27 we’ll depart to the playa!
8/28-9/5 nanny on playa
9/6 depart back to Placerville and carpool back to SF.
It’s going to be a big August!
And September.
Hell when isn’t my life big?
I am also being well taken care of, the camp, Star Star Roadhouse is located on the last road of the 9 o’clock spoke.
I’ll be out there, but I sort of like that after the experience of being in a similar area, a little ways off from there.
In fact, ha, I was reflecting how funny God is.
I rode my playa bike past them numerous time last year and wondered what the camp was about and although I never made a show there I was hella intrigued and wondered, I mean I really did, what it would be like to camp with an established camp.
Looks like God was listening.
When isn’t he?
Yes, I use the male pronoun, get over it.
She/He/It.
God.
Looking out for me.
Hearing my heart’s desires and responding in kind.
I started writing about going a few weeks ago, maybe a month?
And when I started writing the affirmation I sort of shot the moon.
I thought I was asking for a lot, but figured, hey, ask for it, and see what happens–this was before I had been approached by the family, or gotten the referral from a family I used to work with–I was asking for these things:
A ticket, early arrival pass, a place to camp, A/C, showers, compensation, a ride there and back, food, and my Beloved.
Well.
Ahem.
What the family is providing me with:
A ticket and early arrival pass.
An office trailer room with A/C and access to electricity
Yes! My electric kettle will be coming again as will my Ipod home player.
Access to shower trailer.
All meals, water and NA beverages
Access to crew shade/lounge and walk-in refrigeration.
HOLY SHIT.
Plus, um, oh, thank you God, the food is pretty much organic, the people I am working for do big time catering–I am so taken care of.
And.
Yes.
Compensation.
I will be covered for the money I’m losing at work, since it’s not paid time off.
As for my Beloved.
I don’t know who that is.
But I hazard to say, it’s happening, he’s happening, love is happening, everywhere I am blessed and graced and given what is in my heart.
It helps that I am willing to do the work.
Even when I want to run away from it and go grocery shopping at Rainbow for kale.
I know, crazy right?
I had another yoga class today and after wards I was thinking I could run to Rainbow and pick up some kale and make a big salad for lunch and dinner.
I got home, threw myself in the shower, changed clothes, dried my hair, put some makeup on and realized that I was rushing to do something that I did not need to do.
I was making busy when I could actually sit down for a half an hour and relax, maybe do some school reading, I read before yoga too, and not go run off across town before work when I had done food prep yesterday.
And.
Further more if I wanted to get kale that bad I could just walk up to Other Avenues and buy some.
I realized I was running away from doing the work.
So.
I sat down and I wrote the rest of my inventory.
The concept really got me and I did a lot of writing on that, then the four people on my list.
Four.
God that is just awesome.
I still have a few things to write, an ideal, but that’s it.
And in the writing I got to see how damaging I am to myself when I act like I am not worthy.
I am worthy.
I am enough.
I am lovable and worthy of love.
I mean.
I have said these things for years, but still felt, underneath it all that somehow, I was still unworthy, not enough, something broken in me.
I just saw how it was thrust upon me and not in a way that was done consciously despite the damage done, I don’t excuse the behavior or the abuse I went through.
However.
I am not living in that place any longer.
The healing continues.
And then when I was done.
I rode my scooter to work and I had forgotten, I mean, completely, that I had sent off the request to the parents for Burning Man.
Half way through chatting with the mom about the week and cooking and school schedules for the boys, she just suddenly interjected, “Oh, and all your time off requests are fine, you can have the time off you asked for.”
OMG.
What?
I tried hard to not burst out hollering in joy.
“Of course, we’d rather have you than not, but yes, you can have it off.”
Thank you God.
So not knowing who my Beloved is?
What ever.
It’s obvious I’m being so taken care of.
I’m not going worry about this.
God’s got it.
And I’m going to Burning Man.
Burning Man.
Burning Man!
Mary Fucking Poppins rides again.
I just hope my Beloved’s name is not Bert.
Now.
Wouldn’t that be funny?
Bwahahahahaha.
Sorry, just gleeful, it’s sort of spilling out here.
Happy.
Joyous.
Free.
Free.
Free.
And.
Oh.
So.
Very.
Loved.
Auntiebubba 