Posts Tagged ‘Joel Landmine’

The Best $29 I Never Spent

February 15, 2015

I didn’t go to the Basement Jaxx show.

I could go right now.

It’s still happening.

But I am danced out.

I went instead to American Steel in Oakland and went dancing with a group of ladies.

I admitted to them earlier today that I was having some serious doubts about rolling over to Public Works on my own when I had been feeling a little wonky about dating and Valentine’s Day and I don’t think I would have done anything stupid.

But.

If I’m not in a good space spiritually, even after mediating and writing and doing good basic self-care, then I probably shouldn’t roll out to a club on my own.

Even if it’s a really good show.

And I was really looking forward to seeing them play.

Not worth it.

I knew I was isolating myself and I told on myself.

I am so grateful I let the ladies talk me into going with them.

I needed a ladies night out.

My plans also changed when I wasn’t able to use my scooter the way that I wanted to use it and it died on me two blocks from the house.

Over it.

I know that there’s a little something or other that needs adjusting and I just need to take it in to a mechanic, but it keeps alluding me, the taking it to a mechanic.

I have to get on the horn and just ask some friends to give me a hand, either ride with me and hang out when it dies or have some one tinker with it.

I don’t know.

I don’t have to know tonight, I won’t be going anywhere else this evening.

Certainly not out dancing more, I did dance hard and my ankle is sore and my knees hurt, but fuck it, it was worth it to get out of my head for a while and into my body.

And I ran into a good friend who I didn’t know was going to be dj’ing the party, Joel Landmine, and man, oh, man, he played what I needed to hear, and he played vinyl and it was mixed just right–from James Brown to Hall and Oates.

That was the best.

I broke a sweat dancing in the room he was playing.

When Joel played Hall and Oates “I Can’t Go for That,” the new acquaintance I met at the going away party I went to this afternoon, went from being an acquaintance to a great friend.

Just from the one song.

It was just right.

We pantomimed the entire song and sang our heads off and I smiled so hard my face hurt.

That’s good times.

You know you’re in the groove when you’re high five’ing a stranger and singing Hall and Oates at the top of your lungs.

I was with my people.

And I got to spend time with girlfriends and talk about dating and how that’s been going, the asking out, which is just wildly funny at this point.

I asked out another guy on the list today.

One who I had put on the list then taken off the list, and I told him that, then, at the going away party, I totally changed my mind.

I was all like, well, he’s cute and he’s taller than me.

Never mind the smoking, he wants to quit.

Ah.

He was flattered that he had made my list and that was fun to acknowledge and actually really easy.

We’re not a match, I doubt we’ll be going on a date, but the relief I felt just for getting another one out-of-the-way was tremendous.

Not because I am stressed about it, but because it’s getting easier and easier and I am getting way past the point of caring.

I’m throwing it all at the wall.

I Facebook friended the guy I met at the party tonight and danced with.

I couldn’t tell if he was straight or gay.

Yeah.

It’s San Francisco.

And my picker’s broken.

I have been known to have crushes on gay men and then the complete opposite, been oblivious when a straight guy is making a play for me.

I really couldn’t tell.

Most straight guys wouldn’t know Hall and Oates by heart, but then again, who’s to say.

He was hella fun.

I suspect I’ll be asking him out too.

And fuck it, so what if he’s gay, I’m not saying that I want to date a gay man, rather, that I don’t need to know necessarily whether he is or not(it’s a way to save face and not take the action), the not knowing in the moment was a protective measure.

I’ve seen it crop up with me before where I will think the guy is gay because he actually might be interested in me and oh, dear, what it usually means is that the man is emotionally available.

And perhaps interested in me.

Regardless, he was fun and I danced like I haven’t in some time.

And I have now asked out six guys in seven days.

That’s pretty fucking awesome.

Each time I got to let go of the results a little more.

Each time I got to see the fantasy get shot in the foot and clear the path toward whom I am supposed to be with.

And yeah.

I got shot down, a lot.

But.

I did get a yes from one of the six guys I asked out and if I hadn’t been trying to take some action, I wouldn’t have gotten that.

The guy I asked out was also interested enough to get a hold of me and ask when a good time to meet for coffee would be.

That’s a great sign.

He wouldn’t have asked for a specific time to see me if he didn’t want to spend time with me.

It’s also just coffee.

I’m dating.

I’m going to date a lot.

I am going to go out and cast wide the net.

Yes.

I do have an agenda.

I want to be in a sober, monogamous, heterosexual, passionate, open, communicative, fun, spiritually engaged, loving, sweet, kind, romantic relationship.

He should have a job as well.

That’s always a good one to throw in there.

But I don’t expect that the first coffee date I go on will yield those results.

I have to do the work.

I am willing to do the work.

I’ll go right now and message Hall and Oates and see if he wants coffee.

Make it seven asks in seven days.

Why not.

It’s just practice after all.

It’s just dating.

It’s not going to kill me.

It might even get fun.

I have faith.

 


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