Posts Tagged ‘Le Grand Palais’

Hello Old Friend

December 13, 2019



Hello my lovely, it’s been a while.

I’m back.

For a little while, a few days here, maybe a couple of weeks, I’m not one hundred percent sure, but I am going to try and post up some blogs and stay a little regular for a little while.

At least until next semester hits.


Buh bye.

This semester was by far the heaviest work load I have carried in school.

I did a bonkers amount of reading, researching and writing.

All the time.

It just was a constant grind.



I turned in my final paper today, this very afternoon.

I am done!

I am done!

I am done!

It feels so very nice.

I already know that I have gotten “A’s” in my two other classes, I completed one last week, turning in the final paper a little early so that I could focus on the last final project I had.

Said project cumulated in a 176 page paper.


I said that.

176 pages.

I pretty much put together a god damn book.

But when I think about it, that’s basically what a dissertation is, a book.

This was not my dissertation but it had some thematics that I will pull in for my work.

And I didn’t write the whole thing all in one shot.

It was broken up into four parts over the course of the semester.

I basically wrote four good sized papers and then connected them all together for the final compilation.

I am so grateful it’s done I can’t even believe that I don’t have a book to read tomorrow, a discussion post to write, a paper to write, an article to read, research to do.

All I have to do is supervision and see clients.




That’s the other thing.

I have been busting my ass building my private practice.

I currently have 24 clients!

I cannot believe that.

It just amazes me.


I am still nannying.


Not for long.

This week I officially dropped another day, so I’m down to working two days a week and neither day is a full day.  Mondays I’ll be working 9a.m. to 4p.m. and Tuesdays 11 a.m. to 4p.m.


I gave my notice.

That’s right.

I gave my mothefucking notice.

I am so over the moon.

It actually eclipses finishing the semester, I am going to stop being a nanny.

After 13 years of nannying I am going to finally hang up my nanny clogs.

They are not the same clogs I started with, but I am ready to toss them.

I had a really good talk with the mom this week and I am giving them a very healthy notice.

I will stay with them through February.

My final day will be Tuesday, February 25th.

I am sticking it out for another couple of months for two reasons–my imminent trip to Paris and my second semester PhD retreat.

I will be missing two weeks of client sessions while I go to Paris and I will miss another week of sessions in January when I am at the retreat.  This means I will lose three weeks of revenue and that’s a lot.

To offset that I am going to stay with the family until the end of February to make sure that I have enough coming in to self-sustain.

Last week I hit my number that I need to be able to just work as a psychotherapist.

It was wonderful to see that number pop up on my Ivy Pay app–I use Ivy Pay to charge clients and it tallies what I make and when my goal number rolled over I was just over the moon.

That’s it.

That’s what I need to make weekly to be able to quit my nanny job.

I can do that!

I can.

If I wasn’t going on vacation I would have quit by the end of the year.


I am going on vacation, and it is needed, I am so ready for a break.  And I don’t want to worry about covering expenses or not enjoying myself.

I want to do some clothes shopping and go to museums and eat nice food and go to the ballet.  I want to go ice skating at the Grand Palais, which has the largest indoor ice rink in the world.  I will probably fall on my ass and get run over by small children, but I don’t care, it looks marvelous and I can’t imagine anything more spectacular than ice skating in a giant palace in Paris.

I mean.


I also am staying at a really nice Air BnB and I dropped some dimes on it, but I know it’s going to be worth it.

So I didn’t want to worry about spending, I will likely get a tattoo while there, I like doing that, a souvenir I carry with me all my days, and if I want to order a second cafe creme or fuck, a third, I will.

I get to enjoy myself and so that means a couple more months of nanny.

So be it.

It’s worth it and there’s a light, oh there’s a bright light at the end of the tunnel.

I am almost there.

I am almost 100% fully self-supporting as a therapist, as an Associate Psychotherapist at that, I actually could afford to quit my nanny job is I was a regular MFT, but having to pay agency fees, supervision fees, administration fees and the 12.75% cut the agency takes, I have to work more.

I don’t mind, I’m just paying my dues and the end is in sight.

It’s a lovely sight too.

I’m remembering my birthday dinner last year, yeah, that’s coming up soon, next Wednesday is my birthday, and how I made the intention that I would be quitting my nanny job and have a full therapy practice.

I cannot believe it actually happened.

But it did.

The week before my birthday I hit my number and I gave notice.


I think my intention for this upcoming year is that I be engaged to be married by my next birthday.

I’m dead serious.

I want to be engaged.

That’s the intention I will set.

Somewhere in Paris, having dinner, rare steak or a tartare, a cafe creme and a cheese plate for dessert.

I will set my intention.

Oh yes I will.

Where Ever The Wind Blows

April 7, 2013



I don’t know.


I don’t care.

Well, a little, I do care a little.

I am just grateful that I have places to go.

In the last day I have been offered another place to couch surf should the need arise in San Francisco and another in Oakland.

Thanks friends!

I was skyping with my darling Shannon earlier, chuckling over many a thing that you can only chuckle over with a girl friend, and I asked her to just tell me what to do.


Somebody just give me some direction.

I will go anywhere.

I had a moment today when I thought, am I taking a geographic?  Am I trying to understand some child hood trauma by moving all over the place and constantly be uprooted?

Or am I just having a traveller’s life?

Perhaps both.

And perhaps it does not matter either way.

I could stay on in Paris, I could.

I could couch surf and work under the table and move constantly.

However, I am not feeling that.

It is too much work and damn it, I do a lot of work already.

Shannon had a novel suggestion.

Why don’t you take a break?

Why don’t you act like you are on vacation in Paris?

What would you do?

Where would you go?

These are good questions.

I have done a lot of the things that I have wanted to do since I have been here.  Although I could stand a little more museum time.  I tried today to go to the Tokyo Palace, but it was just over run.  I am going to go on a day that is not free day.

Same with the Louvre.

I thought I would just whisk through at the end of the day, but the lines were still horrendous when I popped up from the underground and after taking a walk through the bottom of the Carousel, I said, no thanks and headed back to the Metro.

I did, however, get some free museum time in.

I went to the Museum of Modern Art right next to the Tokyo Palace.

I saw some Matisse, some Picasso, some Bronnard, and some Modigliani.

My favorite was the Modigliani “Les Yeux Bleu” which was a portrait of a woman with blue eyes.  It drew me in and I stared at it for quite some time.  I was not the only one attracted to the piece, as I walked back to get some perspective I saw a number of people get pulled into it.

I followed discretely behind a woman with a bright golden orange sack that seemed a piece of art all her own, the way her body listed to the side as she regarded the blue eyes in the painting.  I stopped to take her photograph.

Art regarding art.

Blue Eyes

Blue Eyes

I have 23 days left in Paris.

This go around.

I am not including the days I will be in Rome–I shall be purchasing the ticket tomorrow–so take out three days.

20 days in Paris.

I have not done the big flea market out at Clingancourt.  I have not seen the inside of Invalides.  There are also two wings of the Louvre I could explore.  As well as the top floor of the Pompidou–the observation deck was closed the last time I went there.

I have never been to the top of the Eiffel Tower, as I consistently hear that the view is better from Montparnasse.

I have climbed to the second landing of the Eiffel Tower, so I don’t feel deprived in the viewing of it further.

I could re-visit Pere Lachaise, I have not been this go around.

I do want to take a bicycle ride along the canal, I have not done that yet.  The weather seems to be breaking toward warmer, perhaps this week Thursday or Friday I could get out for a long bicycle ride.  Or not, I just checked the weather and it does say a warming trend is happening.

Accompanied by a forecast of rain for the next six days.


Well, that means museums then.  I will do the Palais de Tokyo this week for sure and make a stab at the Louvre.  Not on Tuesday.  Note to self, the Louvre is closed on Tuesdays.

I would like to get in another performance or two at Le Chat Noir–I should be done early enough tomorrow with a babysitting gig to get to the cafe in time to sign up for the open mic.  And even if I don’t I wouldn’t mind just going and listening in, I missed the last week.

I have done a lot of living in Paris.

I have done a lot of writing in Paris.

I have seen the fantasy and the reality are utterly different.

The reality is better, though harder, and more rewarding, ultimately.  I have not a single regret about having done this, and yes, I am afraid to be penniless upon my return, but return I am, so I am going to make hay while the sun shines, even if it’s raining.

There are still streets I have not walked down.

Like today, I just decided to take a route one street over and I discovered great statuary and beautiful facades, lamp posts stacked against the sky and churches I had not know existed, just one block over from the walk I normally do along the Seine.


Church of Armenia

Lamp Posts

Lamp Posts












Or by walking around the back side of Le Grand Palais, I discover this amazing fountain that has steam billowing forth instead of water.  It was a spectacular sight.



There is always just sitting in a cafe as well.  Or, perhaps, should the sun deign to come out more than once a week before I go, outside, on a sidewalk, cozied up with a book or a notebook or both, with my trusty camera, and my inquisitive eye.

There is still so much to see.

In Paris.

So, let me live here, while I am here, rather than in the future where it is grim and dark and friendless.  I am not without friends.  I am not without hope.  I go forward with new experiences and still time to experience them.

I don’t want to look back and think, “man, I wasted my last days in Paris worrying about where I was going to live when I get back.”

Or what job I can do or get.

I do want to be an adult and I do want to take responsibility.

Ultimately, no one else can for me.

However, I do not want to dwell in what cannot be done today.

Today is all I have.

Today I am in Paris.




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