Posts Tagged ‘lost’

Vale of Tears

November 7, 2012

Overwhelmed today.

Lost it a little in the Marais.

I was trying to find the Lizard Lounge to meet Barnaby for lunch and to go off and get my Iphone up and running.

Despite having been there yesterday I could not find it to save my life.  I spent two hours wandering around the same six block radius getting more and more frustrated.

It was not fun.

I rushed over to the Marais from the American Cathedral area around 2:15p.m.

I was late.

I had run into Jim from New York who I had met last time I was in Paris.  He did a complete double take when he saw me sitting next to him and it was awesome to smile at him and give a little wave.

I had been expecting to see him sooner, but as it turns out, as he is a teacher, and school is on holiday, he too was on holiday, in, well, where do you think?

New York.

I like Jim.  He is no-nonsense, straight to the point, a bit of a joker, a literary person, and prone to profanity.

A man after my own heart.  He and his wife have lived in Paris for quite some time and he made a point to talk to me in French as well as English.

He told me that I had popped into his head a few times these last few months, he was wondering when I was going to come back.

This made me smile.

Paris was expecting me and wondering where I was.

Nice to have people who remember you and welcome you back.

“Welcome home,” he said as we parted ways and gave me a big hug, “see you soon!”

He dashed off toward L’Etoile Charles de Gaulle and I to Alma-Morceau.

Metro stations.

I got my GO pass.  Completely and entirely worth the 67.90 Euro.


I have gotten my Metro on in the last few days.  On top of doing a lot of walking.

A lot.

I do miss the bicycle, but as our house guest is here for another few days, it does not seem like a good idea to un-box it.  Plus the forecast calls for rain for the next two days.

I got off my Metro stop at Les Halles-which frankly is an overwhelmingly big station (I also found out it was completely unnecessary to get off at this stop, there is a closer one to the shop that Barnaby tattoos out of, he showed me this evening and I smacked myself on the forehead, I could have been avoiding this station the whole time! Oh well, now I know) and ran to Abraxas.

I was fifteen minutes late and Barnaby was not there.

Then I thought over our conversation from this morning and I realized that we were supposed to meet at the Lizard Lounge.


Merde, I mean.

Dashed out the door realizing also that I did not have the best idea where the cafe was, however, I did remember the signage and it was on a bright red awning that hung vertical from the first story, with a gold lizard on it.

Should not be too hard to find.

Fuck my mother.

It was retarded.

I got lost.

How can I get so turned around?

I wandered around the same six blocks criss crossing the side streets and then going back to the shop oh, I don’t know, four times.

And of course, my phone does not work, and I can’t call to get directions and no one at the shop has any idea where the Lounge Lizard is, because it is an Anglo Pub and all the guys at the shop are French and why the fuck would they hang out at an Anglo Pub?


When I am upset, my French gets worse.  I get tongue-tied and I was not making much head way with the guy at the front desk, who as it turns out is a little on the not so nice side.

I was fairly sure he knew what I was saying, but he refused to hand over the shop phone, despite the artists downstairs telling me, just go up and use the shop phone.

I left nearly in tears after the third time being back.

Then I tried to retrace my steps one more time.


Rien, I mean.

“Fuck you Barnaby,” I hissed under my breath.

Uh, hello brain, not Barnaby’s fault that you are chronically lost, or a chronic lost cause, I cannot tell you which, truly.

Then I said to myself, go home.  Just go home.  You do not have to keep wandering around.  He has surely left the cafe by this point and despite having an appointment that I was to meet with Corrine tonight, I did not have to find the cafe at that right exact moment.

Yes, it would be annoying to go home, boot up the computer, get on the interwebs and find the cafe, but it could be done and I have a Metro pass and it won’t cost anything.  I can make a cup of tea and eat at the house and get grounded.

When I finally surrendered to the situation, I felt better and realized, hey look, there are some really neat things to see.

I slowed down my speedy walk and cruised around the Marais and went into a few shops–I almost bought myself a hat, uh, chapeau, I mean, at one store, it was so fabulous–but I know better to shop when I am anxious as I tend to buy things I do not need.

I may, however go back for it, little birthday present for next month.  The shop was fantastic and I definitely will be back.

If I can find it again.

I did take a card, though, and by that time I will have a working Iphone, I will be leaving the house with Barnaby tomorrow, so that should not be a problem, and I will have my map app and I will find the store again.

Although, knowing me, I will probably get lost anyway.

I got home, put the kettle on the stove, used the bathroom, and was nibbling on a pear when Barnaby got back home.

I burst into tears.

No, that is not apt, I burst into tears with Corrine this evening, rather, I leaked tears and put my head down on my knees.

We had a really good chat and check in and again he reminded me that it was all alright.  Truly, it is, I can see that, but this strange place, with strange words, and strange food, has made me a little strange too.

Stranger in a strange land.

I will get acclimated and accustomed and my French will get better and money will be had and all will be alright.

Because it already is.

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