Posts Tagged ‘M. Night Shamalyan’

So Much To Do

September 20, 2015

And it will all get done.

I have not exactly procrastinated.

But.

I did take some time to do some things today that are indicative to me of living a full, rounded, lucky California girl kind of day.

I got some outside time.

I watched the moon set.

It was gorgeous and dreamy and deep thick cream color that darkened and brightened until it was a fiery coal ember settling into the sea.

I had long conversations.

I met with ladies and did the deal at Tart to Tart.

Yes.

I got the nails done.

I am not even sure how the hell I snuck that in.

I did some grocery shopping.

I did some cooking and prep work for the week of work.

And.

I stared at my stacks and piles of books and readers.

I did read some.

I had a four o’clock appointment that got pushed back until 4:30, which allowed a half hour phone check in with my person and also a scoop of reading time to flip through another few pages.

I know that if I continue to show up to the page and live through the page, the reading will get done.

I did not do quite as much as I had originally thought I would do, but I outlined some time in my schedule and made a concerted effort to acknowledge the amount of work and also that I am not going to get to all of it.

I am just not.

And that’s ok.

It has to be ok.

I am not willing to sacrifice certain things in my life to the altar of graduate school.

I can’t.

I have obligations and people and stuff and things.

Perhaps that is vague, but I have responsibilities to be working with my fellows too.

I can’t do one without the other.

And as I got plugged back into the matrix of my community I felt more settled and whole than I have in a while what with the traveling and schooling and Burning Man’ing.  I got my reconnection back.

I got my ladies back and that just felt so good.

I am still up in the air with my work schedule and how that is all going to suss out, but primarily, I feel like I am slowly establishing a routine that is working for me.

And.

Yes.

I am tired.

But my day was fabulous.

Even if I did not get all the reading done that I wanted to do.

I ate divine sushi.

I saw a movie.

I know!

I went to a theater.

Who is this woman of leisure?

Not I.

My person gave me crap today and took out an imaginary date book and pen and jotted down all the things that I was going to do today and made a list and checked it twice and I giggled in horror at how accurate she was in her ribbing of me.

I mean.

Spot fucking on.

Then I gleefully informed her that I was also going to have fun today and outlined the plans and she was happy to hear it.

“You have to have fun too, otherwise, what’s the point?” She asked me and smiled.

What’s the point indeed.

I am proud of myself and the work I do.

But, yes, I do need to have fun once in a while and I took my friend’s suggestion from school and went and saw M. Night Shamalyan’s movie, The Visit.

Holy shit.

It was scary.

And.

It was hella funny.

I mean I laughed almost as much as I screamed, out loud with fright, a couple of times.

Yes.

I am that girl in the theater.

So glad I took my classmates suggestion.

“Yeah, your grad school people are an important part of your life for the next three years, they are going to know you and see you and be there for you,” she said to me on the phone as I checked in from the back porch.

The sun came out today.

The fog ran away with the spoon.

The little dog laughed to see such a sight.

And the moon ran away with the night.

It tasted like coconut lip gloss and looked like love.

I wore a sundress and my crinoline.

I felt sassy.

Just for today, just for a little while I took some time away from the so much to do and let myself have a little play time.

A little space to hollow out a softness in my heart to be myself to grow further and find that gentle sweet balance that I know I can achieve.

All the adventures.

All the ways and days.

I am so excited.

I can barely see the outline of the days to come, I just know they will be full.

That I will be alive.

That I have so much to do and give and grow and become.

It is awesome.

Exciting.

Intense.

Growth.

Love.

All the things.

And the cusp of buttery moon swimming down into the inky black of the sea, the bright flames of a bonfire on the beach, the rumble of the surf on the sand, the catch of smoke my nose, and the living of life all about me.

So much gratitude.

My tiredness slips from my shoulders and I make plans on the morrow knowing the softness, the tenderness in my being will remain nestled in my heart, secure and strong in joyful living.

I am woman.

Hear me roar.

Soft.

But strong.

Here and present.

Clear with love.

Always.

This.

Love.

Always.

Love is everywhere

Love is everywhere

Love is everywhere

Love is everywhere

People can you feel it

Love is everywhere

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