Me.
Nope.
I don’t know.
No.
I don’t care.
Well, a little, I do care a little.
I am just grateful that I have places to go.
In the last day I have been offered another place to couch surf should the need arise in San Francisco and another in Oakland.
Thanks friends!
I was skyping with my darling Shannon earlier, chuckling over many a thing that you can only chuckle over with a girl friend, and I asked her to just tell me what to do.
Seriously.
Somebody just give me some direction.
I will go anywhere.
I had a moment today when I thought, am I taking a geographic? Am I trying to understand some child hood trauma by moving all over the place and constantly be uprooted?
Or am I just having a traveller’s life?
Perhaps both.
And perhaps it does not matter either way.
I could stay on in Paris, I could.
I could couch surf and work under the table and move constantly.
However, I am not feeling that.
It is too much work and damn it, I do a lot of work already.
Shannon had a novel suggestion.
Why don’t you take a break?
Why don’t you act like you are on vacation in Paris?
What would you do?
Where would you go?
These are good questions.
I have done a lot of the things that I have wanted to do since I have been here. Although I could stand a little more museum time. I tried today to go to the Tokyo Palace, but it was just over run. I am going to go on a day that is not free day.
Same with the Louvre.
I thought I would just whisk through at the end of the day, but the lines were still horrendous when I popped up from the underground and after taking a walk through the bottom of the Carousel, I said, no thanks and headed back to the Metro.
I did, however, get some free museum time in.
I went to the Museum of Modern Art right next to the Tokyo Palace.
I saw some Matisse, some Picasso, some Bronnard, and some Modigliani.
My favorite was the Modigliani “Les Yeux Bleu” which was a portrait of a woman with blue eyes. It drew me in and I stared at it for quite some time. I was not the only one attracted to the piece, as I walked back to get some perspective I saw a number of people get pulled into it.
I followed discretely behind a woman with a bright golden orange sack that seemed a piece of art all her own, the way her body listed to the side as she regarded the blue eyes in the painting. I stopped to take her photograph.
Art regarding art.
Blue Eyes
I have 23 days left in Paris.
This go around.
I am not including the days I will be in Rome–I shall be purchasing the ticket tomorrow–so take out three days.
20 days in Paris.
I have not done the big flea market out at Clingancourt. I have not seen the inside of Invalides. There are also two wings of the Louvre I could explore. As well as the top floor of the Pompidou–the observation deck was closed the last time I went there.
I have never been to the top of the Eiffel Tower, as I consistently hear that the view is better from Montparnasse.
I have climbed to the second landing of the Eiffel Tower, so I don’t feel deprived in the viewing of it further.
I could re-visit Pere Lachaise, I have not been this go around.
I do want to take a bicycle ride along the canal, I have not done that yet. The weather seems to be breaking toward warmer, perhaps this week Thursday or Friday I could get out for a long bicycle ride. Or not, I just checked the weather and it does say a warming trend is happening.
Accompanied by a forecast of rain for the next six days.
Paris!
Well, that means museums then. I will do the Palais de Tokyo this week for sure and make a stab at the Louvre. Not on Tuesday. Note to self, the Louvre is closed on Tuesdays.
I would like to get in another performance or two at Le Chat Noir–I should be done early enough tomorrow with a babysitting gig to get to the cafe in time to sign up for the open mic. And even if I don’t I wouldn’t mind just going and listening in, I missed the last week.
I have done a lot of living in Paris.
I have done a lot of writing in Paris.
I have seen the fantasy and the reality are utterly different.
The reality is better, though harder, and more rewarding, ultimately. I have not a single regret about having done this, and yes, I am afraid to be penniless upon my return, but return I am, so I am going to make hay while the sun shines, even if it’s raining.
There are still streets I have not walked down.
Like today, I just decided to take a route one street over and I discovered great statuary and beautiful facades, lamp posts stacked against the sky and churches I had not know existed, just one block over from the walk I normally do along the Seine.
Church of Armenia
Lamp Posts
Or by walking around the back side of Le Grand Palais, I discover this amazing fountain that has steam billowing forth instead of water. It was a spectacular sight.
Steam
There is always just sitting in a cafe as well. Or, perhaps, should the sun deign to come out more than once a week before I go, outside, on a sidewalk, cozied up with a book or a notebook or both, with my trusty camera, and my inquisitive eye.
There is still so much to see.
In Paris.
So, let me live here, while I am here, rather than in the future where it is grim and dark and friendless. I am not without friends. I am not without hope. I go forward with new experiences and still time to experience them.
I don’t want to look back and think, “man, I wasted my last days in Paris worrying about where I was going to live when I get back.”
Or what job I can do or get.
I do want to be an adult and I do want to take responsibility.
Ultimately, no one else can for me.
However, I do not want to dwell in what cannot be done today.
Today is all I have.
Today I am in Paris.
