Posts Tagged ‘necklace’

At The Crack of Dawn

December 15, 2017

I will be up too early.

Yeah.

I know, suck it up baby, have some coffee and shut up.

I hadn’t forgotten that I had an early appointment before work, but man, it did sting a tiny bit setting my alarm clock for 6a.m.

Sigh.

Oh well.

Just because I’m not in school at the moment doesn’t mean that there won’t be days that I need to be up and out early.

Tomorrow is one of those days.

I got into see a chiropractor in the Mission.

At 8 a.m.

She was super sweet to fit me in at that time, normally she doesn’t take clients at that time, but the rest of her schedule was so full and my schedule being also full, she made an exception for me.

She normally doesn’t see clients until 9a.m., but tomorrow she’ll be there at 8 a.m. and sigh, so will I.

The irony of this, which does not escape me at all, is that afterward I will be scootering off to a park in the Upper Noe Valley neighborhood to hang out with the baby while mom gets a work out in with her trainer.

Which means wearing the baby carrier and carrying the baby.

Meh.

One of the reasons my back has been sore and tender for the last few weeks, carrying the baby in the baby carrier.

Grateful as all get out that today he slept in his car seat and had a huge fat nap that I didn’t have to have him strapped to me to get.

Usually he likes to sleep on me.

And don’t get me wrong, I like it too, so much, he’s so sweet and warm and cozy, it’s really nice, but it also hurts my back to carry him around.

So hopefully I get a good adjustment and my hips go back to normal and the small of my back will stop hurting so damn much.

Despite the appointment time being so early I am looking forward to having the adjustment, it really is needed.

It just means going to bed really soon.

I am also contemplating skipping breakfast.

Well.

Not really skipping breakfast, but not eating it at home.

I’m planning on getting up at six am to take a shower and get groomed and dressed and slide out the door by 7:30 a.m.

That doesn’t really give me time to do my morning routine and breakfast, I won’t skip the morning routine and if I want to do breakfast I would have to get up at 5:30 a.m. instead of six a.m.

I’m not ready to sacrifice that half hour of sleep.

I have a feeling it will be much-needed.

So I figure I’ll just grab a couple of persimmons or an apple and some almonds and just eat that at the park when I meet the mom.

And then it’s Friday.

And yes, it will signify my first weekend off in three weeks, my first day off, well, sort of, fuck, haha, I still have to go to group supervision, but it will sort of feel like a day off.

I really could use that feeling.

I’m going to meet some ladies in the Mission Saturday morning for a brunch, then head over to do group supervision and maybe afterward I’ll treat myself to a manicure somewhere before I go do the deal with my peeps.

I am ready for that as well, getting back to some fellowship.

Especially with the holiday sneaking up around the corner.

Sunday will be a little more chill, I’ve got a lady coming over to do some work and then dinner in the Castro with my person who is celebrating a huge anniversary.

That will be really good to be a part of, so much so.

Then one more week of work and a nice three-day weekend.

A weekend I’m still not really sure what I want to do, but I’m taking suggestions and thinking about what would be sweet and nurturing for me.

I think that’s going to be very important over the holiday, good self-care, compassionate actions for myself and those around me, practicing kindness and generosity, getting out to do the deal, go to a movie, fuck, it’s been a while since I was in a movie theater, ages really, go to the museums, get myself a little something.

Last year I gave myself a necklace that I was wearing today, for my birthday, that I had picked up in the Mission at a little art gallery on Valencia Street.

Maybe I do that this weekend, get myself a little birthday present.

I know.

My new car is pretty much the best present ever, but I didn’t really buy that with my birthday in mind.

I think there needs to be some other kind of recognition around it.

And I am so, so, so grateful that I took the night of my birthday off from clients.

That feels really important.

Just as it feels important to give myself a little something.

I rather liked the idea of jewelry, I like wearing it into my client sessions, I’ve been wearing more necklaces than I have in years and I really like that, I’m not sure exactly when the shift happened, but I do have an appreciation for a new accessory in my repertoire for sure.

I will have something to open, my mom’s birthday card, which has been sitting on my table now for a little bit.

And!

I have gotten my licence plates in the mail today.

In fact, I sort of want to open them right now, just to see them.

Ooh!

Ha, that was fun.

I opened them.

I will definitely have to put them on the car.

Maybe Saturday before I head out to the brunch.

I was thinking about riding my scooter since the brunch is in the Mission, but really, I don’t have time constraints except to be at my internship by 2p.m.

So I will allow myself to drive my car.

I really love having her, it’s been such a special experience.

I do feel like that is going to be the thing I do,  a mini road trip.

Just not yet sure where.

But I feel the road calling with its siren song.

Anyway.

Time to call it and get my butt to bed.

It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.

But that’s ok.

It’s the last day in the week and my evening plans look stellar.

Like.

Really stellar.

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You Get A Gold Star

March 13, 2015

Well.

It’s actually iridescent blue, but you know, the idea is the same.

I got my Fiat Lux on tonight after I got out of work on my way to my Thursday night commitment.

I have been eyeballing a necklace there for over a year.

And a ring.

But one thing at a time.

Especially as they are just a little pricey for me.

Not ridiculously so.

And I like that I am supporting a local artist.

Hart Variations

I didn’t actually get the necklace that I had been eyeballing, which was a piece of a monarch wing under glass.

Instead the artist had a new piece in the store, a five point star, I saw it and disregarded the higher price tag.

I needed the star.

It was my validation.

I am my validation.

I validate myself.

And it sure is pretty.

Star

Star

It also goes quite well with the ten other stars scattered over my neck for my sobriety anniversary.

Got to love that.

A girl likes her tattoo’s to match her jewelry.

This girl anyway.

As I said, it was more expensive, but oh, so lovely.

And I didn’t go over my spending plan for clothes for the month, $200 is budgeted and the necklace came to $160.

Officially making it the most expensive piece of jewelry I have ever bought for myself.

It felt good.

It’s nice to be nice to myself.

I deserve pretty things.

I work hard and there’s something right and good about acknowledging this milestone for me.

I’m not buying anything else, I got my “gold” star and I pinned my acceptance letter to the fridge, I feel like I have allowed a little celebratory commemoration to happen for me.

Life in general feels like a celebration of recent.

Even when I have a headache and I am eagerly awaiting the clock hand to sweep to time to go at work, I am grateful for all that I have and appreciate all that I have been given.

It’s been quite a journey getting here and it’s really only just begun.

There is so much more to come.

And tomorrow is Friday.

Yay.

I will work my full day and treat myself to a mani/pedi before hitting my Friday night gig at Our Lady of Safeway and then homeward bound into the weekend.

My schedule has been changing a little in regards to the recent weekends and I find myself to being directed toward doing the deal earlier in the day and having my Saturday nights free.

I have been writing about it a while in my morning pages and talked it over today with my person and he really felt it was a good idea for me and expressed that he too had thought that might be good for me to do.

I will be keeping things a little closer to home on my weekends instead of dragging my butt up and over the hills to Noe Valley, I’ll just be heading into the Inner Sunset instead.

I spend so much time commuting on my bike that I need an easier weekend schedule, and also, as it was pointed out to me, I do enough, I really do, for my recovery.

I don’t have to martyr myself to a spot and a space in a room in a basement all my recovery, I can explore other options.

Besides I’ve been doing the deal there for ten years.

It won’t hurt me to find another spot to get accustomed to.

And I am looking forward to having my Saturday nights free.

Who knows.

I might even go on some dates.

I’m not actively looking, although the interchange with the Frenchman has progressed to the exchanging of phone numbers.

We shall see if anything else comes of it.

I am looking forward to the weekend too because it will be sunny and warm and I will be traveling over to the East Bay, North Berkeley, for a friends baby shower Saturday during the day.

I am wearing some sandals.

I may break out a sundress too.

Sunshine always does me such good.

I may even go hang out on the beach this Saturday, catch the sunset, or maybe even do a bonfire.

I haven’t done a bonfire on the beach in a while.

I don’t know.

It’s nice to think that I am making space for the good things in life, that I don’t have to always push myself so hard to the next goal, the goal really is to be present and love every moment as it arrives.

It doesn’t hurt to be decked out in stars when this happens.

Even though it took me a moment to have the feelings and allow myself to process the magnitude of what is happening.

My life is really going to change when I go to school.

First, it’s been twelve years since I have been a student.

Second, and this is a big second, I have not been sober for my studies.

I just realized that those two statements were not exactly 100% correct.

I did take a memoir writing class with Alan Kaufmann when I had gotten a year sober and two other subsequent classes with the group of writers, but it wasn’t school in the sense of working toward a specific degree goal.

Kaufmann did heavily suggest graduate school for me though, he thought I would make a great creative writing teacher and in fact, had me run a lecture for the class one week.

Which was exhilarating and frightening all at the same time.

I didn’t know how much I knew until I was teaching the class and then it just kept rolling out of me.

I did a lecture on Nabokov and butterfly imagery in his works.

Funny how I got a necklace made out of butterfly wings today.

I have butterfly tattoos as well.

The necklace fits in with it all.

I am a butterfly.

It may be a cliché.

But I don’t care.

They all mean something to me, again and again and again, I am a human being who has meaning.

I have a purpose.

I have a point.

I get to be of service.

I am a star.

 


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