Posts Tagged ‘new shoes’

Vacation!

February 16, 2016

It’s official.

I am off the next six days in a row.

I’m not freaking out.

Yet.

I have had a lot of loud, however, conversation in my head about the kind of exercise I should, would, or could be doing.

It is in fact driving me a bit bats.

But better to be obsessed with figuring out the best work out for my time and schedule than wondering about what I am going to do with all this time.

Just take it easy.

One day at a time and all that jazz.

I do have plans to meet with a ladybug tomorrow and do the deal and things of that nature are happening, but aside from that, my day is pretty wide open.

I have some pretty wide open days coming up, little things here and there, but lots of opportunity to do things and go places and hang out.

And.

Oh yes.

Sleep in.

I have gotten up at 6:30 a.m. or earlier for the last four days.

I am ready to not have an alarm go off.

I will be sleeping as long as I like.

I tell myself it will be a good long time, but it will be whenever my brain wakes up enough to rouse my body from its slumber.

I did take some actions around looking into things.

I went and talked to a woman at Laughing Lotus on 16th and Guerrero and got a schedule.

I also have done a lot of online trying to figure things out.

I have to say.

I am over trying to figure it out.

I got a great suggestion tonight from a fellow to surrender it and ask for direction and see what shows up.

I don’t have to know tonight.

And I can and have been driving myself a little nutty with it.

I have other things to do.

Homework is one of them, but I think I will at least let myself off the hook for that tomorrow and not worry about delving back into the homework right away.

I actually feel like giving myself the entire day off tomorrow to not think about any of it at all.

Just show up for my commitment and let whatever happens happen.

I am sure the day will show up.

It did today and I got to go into work and happily so, on my scooter.

I got my SFMTA Child Care Parking Permit and I am now allowed to park anywhere in the area of the permit for up to 72 hours without getting a ticket.

I can’t imagine leaving my scooter there overnight, but if something did happen, it would be ok for a few days.

And it means that I will be using my scooter to commute to work starting next week when I go back in.  I will want to have some sort of exercise routine in place, but I don’t have to have it right now.

Rather I can just enjoy looking at the day and the fact that I got to walk around a bit outside, have a nice lunch at Herbivore (I’m not a vegan, but I occasionally play one on tv, I actually just realized that everything I had today was vegan, huh) and in between taking care of things at work and meeting my friend for an iced coffee, I also got a manicure pedicure.

And a new vibrator.

Just saying.

I have some down time.

And.

Um.

Ha.

It works well.

Thumbs up.

Ha!

Anyway, I did pop in and out of a few other places, but nothing else caught my eye and truth be told, I haven’t felt too compelled to buy anything.  I will probably still take some time and do some clothes shopping, but nothing on Valencia Street was doing it for me and I was still sorted of at work, so I didn’t really take time to do a lot of looking.

It was better to hang out with my friend and catch up than worry about new clothes or what yoga studio I should check out.

My friend also mentioned ODC and she’s the third or fourth person to recommend it, so that is a place to investigate too.

I keep trying to get back to that and I really just want to let it lie right now, I am not about to go put on my yoga pants and grab a mat and…

Um.

Hahahaha.

Fuck me.

I am in yoga pants.

I put them on after I tried on a new dress I ordered on Modcloth.

I think I need to stop ordering on Modcloth.

I think I need to go down to the fit shop instead.

The dress is cute and it was one of the things I allowed myself to get when I got my tax return, I’d actually forgotten I had ordered it.

However, although it’s a perfect fit, the bodice is bizarre.

It makes my chest look really strange.

I mean.

It is NOT flattering.

Which is a bummer since it perfectly matches my new John Fluevog shoes!

OMG.

They came today and I picked them up from the shop in the Haight.

I am so wearing them tomorrow.

They are magical.

Maybe I should get dressed up and go to the museum and have a little artist date.

Stop thinking and get into some art.

Put on my fancy new shoes and scooter over to the DeYoung.

That would be fun.

I could have lunch at the cafe or I could go to Park Chow.

Oh yum.

Then, who knows.

I am meeting my ladybug at the Church Street Cafe at 6:15p.m.

That’s the earliest I have to be anywhere.

I can really sleep in.

Heh.

Again, I doubt it will be a long slumber, but it will not be getting up at 6:30 a.m.

No, nope, not at all.

Ah.

Perhaps a nice leisurely breakfast, some writing, a walk on the beach, it’s supposed to be nice tomorrow then rain for a few days, so it could be the right time to do the beach for sure.

Life is good.

I don’t have to know anything.

Be anything.

Or go anywhere.

I am exactly perfect.

Right here.

Right now.

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Unbox This!

February 5, 2016

The reverence in which I just unboxed a ream of paper made me wish I had been video taped.

I was all excited as I saw the box in the hallway when I got home from work tonight and I thought, boy, I could use a little pick me up after the busy day I had at work.

Grandparent visit.

That’s all I’ll say.

Thank God tomorrow is Friday.

Anyway.

I wheeled home, a perfectly temped night, a fast whiz through the park, the smell, dark, rich, fragrant, trees and earth and coolness, the sharp, delicious smell of wood fire burning down at the beach drifting towards me.

I looked up.

Saw Orion in the sky.

Remembered nights, compiled upon one another in a stack of memory Tarot cards, a shuffling of images, heart rendered soft with the sweetness of that unrequited love, that night on the beach there, that hand in my hand on the sea wall, the fall of the red moon into the sea, the lift of the stars above my head.

I thought of all the times I had stared up silent and alone in the awe of the stars, the press of the night on my heart, the alone of not being alone and the loveliness of the sky after just slipping off my bicycle and turning off the flashing lights on my handlebars.

I smiled at the stars, stuck the key in the garage door, wheeled in the bicycle.

I opened up the door to the hallway and there was the box.

Ooh!

Look.

My shoes!

My new Sam Edelman, I bought them with my State Tax Return, shoes.

Oh goody.

Maybe I’ll wear them this weekend.

It’s supposed to be nice.

I started thinking about what dress I should wear and I picked up the box, heavy, satisfying, the weight a sweet promise of eclectic colored pedicures and walks in the sunshine.

I got a pair of “flatform” sandals.

A retro wood platform with leather toe and ankle straps.

Super cute.

The Bentlee by Sam Edelman.

I mean.

Serious cuteness.

I delayed a little.

I put the box on the table and turned on the lights, lit the candles, cued up some music.

I am in a nostalgic music phase and am listening to Masters of Reality, Sunrise on the Surferbus.

It always reminds me of a particular boyfriend and one summer day coming into our room at the house and I didn’t know he was home, he must have come in after me, and I had the album playing loudly in the bedroom.

It was the song, Jody Sings.

The sun was slanting through the elm trees and dappling the wood floor.

I was in a long skirt, one that I had salvaged from a house dress of my mom’s, I wish I still had it, it was the perfect A-line skirt and it spun so well, I always felt so pretty when I wore it.

A long A-line skirt, a navy blue leotard, my hair down, my feet bare, the sunlight warm on the wood floors, Jody Sings playing on the tape deck player, one, two, three, I’m on my knees, Jody sings, I get high, when she rings, clouds roll by, Jody sings, I get high, when she rings clouds roll by.

Lucky one.

I am two.

Yes, I am.

Lucky three, oheee

The one for me.

One, two, three, I’m on my knees.

On my knees.

On my knees.

On my knees.

Please.

Baby, please, baby please.

I remember swaying my hips and the skirt flaring out above my knees and the sun playing on the fabric, I felt soft and sweet and sensuous.

I spun on my toes and stopped mid spin when I saw my boyfriend leaning in the doorway watching me.

His eyes aglow.

It is something.

To have someone look at you like that.

Wow.

I just had the most intense rush of emotion remembering that.

It was a hard, horrible relationship at the end, but I forget, sometimes, not always, the sweetness of the early part, the mixed tapes and the rides on the back of his motorcycle, the picnics at Picnic Point, the long nights talking until dawn, the realization that this was my person and I was his and then the realization that I was so, so, so stuck.

Ah.

Perspective.

I called it, recently, as I recall, the one night stand that became a five year relationship.

I don’t do that anymore.

Not that I have been horribly successful with romantic relationships over the past decade.

Although, truth be told, I found the One long ago, me.

And that was a divine discovery.

“Go, be frivolous!” He texted me today after my check in about my finances and some residual fear that was still trying to hang on to, even though I did some inventory around it last night before I went to bed.

He’s right, though.

He usually is.

I’m excited to be frivolous, in case you were wondering.

I found another pair of Fluevog’s I’m pretty raring to get and another pair of sneakers, I’ve had my eye on them for a bit and they’d be super good for work and also cute, which is important.

I also did my spending plan for February and tallied all my expenses for January.

I figured out what I need to put into savings and what I am allowed to spend on myself.

I’m going to have fun.

I’ll keep you updated.

Especially since I did not get the shoes tonight.

Ha.

Nope.

As I said.

The sacred cutting open of the brown cardboard box did not reveal a fancy box full of adorable platform sandals.

I reverently removed the plastic bubble wrap and said, “what the fuck?”

Oh!

Bwahahahaha.

It’s my paper for my new printer.

Well.

I guess I’m ready to write my Clinical Relationship paper now.

Ha.

Hopefully the shoes will come in time for the weekend.

And if not.

I’m sure I will find something else to bring me joy.

I have a heart full of it.

I plan on keeping it that way.

It doesn’t have to come in a box in the mail.

I have an unlimited source of it whenever I look inside myself.

Right.

There.

Hello.

Love.

Nice to see you again.

Let’s have fun this weekend.

Ok?

 

 

A Walk On The Beach

January 6, 2014

A phone call with a friend.

Poor friend who is in Wisconsin where they are declaring schools called off tomorrow with expected temperatures at -50 degrees Farenheit.

Yeesh.

That is cold.

I, meantime, was walking barefoot on the beach, a balmy San Francisco January Sunday stroll, with my pant legs rolled and just a button up and a tank top on.

We compared notes, caught up, and yes, laid out some tentative plans for me to come back to Wisconsin and have a visit with her, because it’s been too damn long.

She will be e-mailing me some dates that will work best for the family, having three boys takes some juggling, and I will be looking at going back either in middle May or late June, early July.

I said I cannot come after mid-July, nor in August or September.

Nope.

I will be getting ready to go do Burning Man and I suspect I will be working a lot more for the families as the event gets closer, I won’t be taking time off during those months.

So, Wisconsin in late spring or in high summer.

Either way, it won’t be winter.

Brrr.

The day really was gorgeous.

I sat outside and did a nice long, for me any way, twenty-minute meditation and got some nice sunshine on my face.

I chatted up my mom for a minute going over my flight itinerary for my trip next week, and I made plans to do nothing.

Well, I had a commitment tonight at 5:15 and another at 6:30 down at Church and Market, but other than that, nada.

I was going to beat myself up for not getting out into the surf and being in the water, but I reminded myself that the ocean is not going anywhere and there will be other days to thrash around in the tides.

Instead, I did something novel, saying out loud, “I forgive you for not going surfing today.”

I don’t have to improve every god damn day.

I could, I don’t know, like fucking relax and let the day happen.

Which, well, what do you know, it did.

After I had the long walk on the beach and the long, much-needed catch up with my best friend, I came back to the house and made lunch–so grateful for the grocery shopping trip I did–cooking up some savory oatmeal and having a nice mug of tea while I contemplated what I wanted to do with the rest of the day.

I wanted a book.

I also wanted to swing into Therapy since they were having a crazy clearance sale.

I got my stuff together and took the sweetest warm weather bike ride through the Pan Handle.  A bicycle ride that was not replete with bicycle commuters and people in a mad rush to pass by you and make the lights and get to work, just sweet warm sunshine, a soft breeze, and the delicious smell of eucalyptus trees perfuming the air.

It was gorgeous, which meant it would be even nicer in the Mission.

It was the perfect day to be in the Mission.

Normally a sunny day in the Mission would be crawling with people, but as it turns out, lucky me, there was a 49ers game happening and most everyone was inside getting their football on.

I got to Therapy and it was empty. I spent an hour combing the racks and got out of the shop with a new pair of shoes, a tank top, and three blouses for $117!

Sweet.

Huge score from the store.

The shoes alone were originally more than what I spent in toto.

Now I have some fun new clothes to wear down to Florida.

I checked the weather before speaking with my mom and despite them going through a slight cold snap, the weather is supposed to be in the mid 70s to low 80s while I am there.

High heeled sandals and a soft creamy new blouse, just meant for trotting around the golf cart community.

Or at least sitting and having ice tea with my family.

And if the weather continues to be as lovely as it was today, perhaps even I shall be sporting sandals about the city.

I will certainly have them for my summer jaunt to Wisconsin.

Though I am fairly certain flip-flops will be more my style when I am there.

Nice to have a trip like this to look forward to.

I priced out tickets recently and I not only can afford it, I feel that I cannot afford to not do it.  I just want to spend more time with the people I love and not seeing my best friend in years just doesn’t do it for me.

Aside from my score at Therapy I also got a fantastic “new” frame from Harrington’s on Valencia and 17th, for my copy of my grandparents wedding photograph.

Very excited to see it restored to its “original” self.

Then, with my messenger bag loaded with goodies I left my bicycle locked up and took a walk down the block to Clarion Alley.

It is an alley connecting Valencia Street with Mission Street and is notable for its many murals.

There were two artists working on pieces and the lack of tourists and natives, for that matter, holed up in the bars rooting for the home team, left me with the perfect time to pull out my camera.

I took a slow walk down the alley and looked at the murals.

With Much Respect

With Much Respect

Saint

Saint

Artist Working

Artist Working

Clarion Alley

Clarion Alley

Marilyn

Marilyn

Enjoying having my camera out and the quiet of the streets.

For about another ten minutes, then the hooting and hollering and honking began, and well, I ain’t no dummy, I guess them footballers were celebrating a Niner win.

So I gathered my things about me and got back to my bike.

It was time to make it over to Church and Market any how and I wanted to avoid the revellers that were spilling out of the bars and the cops that showed up out of the blue to watch that the drunken party not get out of hand.

The sun dipped quickly behind Twin Peaks and I was grateful that I am a true San Franciscan, not lured by the lull of luscious afternoon sun, I know it’s going to cold after the sunsets, and yup.

Sure did.

I grabbed my sweatshirt and jean jacket and got cozy for the ride.

And it was much needed for the ride back to the ocean by the time I finished with my commitment it was officially cold.

The ride home was just as satisfying though.

Little traffic, crisp air, the indigo sky blushing a late slip of coral as the last kiss of sun fled this side of the hemisphere.

I felt comfortable and rode my bike down the middle of the road breezing along happy in myself, my life, my city.

Didn’t hurt that I had a new pair of shoes in my bag either.

Ready for the week ahead of me and looking forward to a little trip down South.

Life is pretty grand.

Especially when I get out of my way.


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