Posts Tagged ‘pen to paper’

Whoa

September 2, 2018

Well.

I am fucking in it.

The work is on.

I sat through some really long classes today.

I did a lot, I mean, a lot of reading.

I just wrapped up my third academic paper of the evening and I am about done.

I was supposed to go dancing with a group of girls across the street from the hotel at some place called Nick’s but when I showed up, in my red lipstick, there was no one there.

And frankly.

Hanging out in a bar is not my scene.

Especially not alone.

I turned tail and headed back to my room.

I have a banana to nibble on after I finish my blog tonight and then maybe a little bit of a video to watch.

I’m going to do my best to get some sleep and get up early, take a shower before breakfast and get right back into another long day of classes.

I’m not quite through the midpoint of the intensive and it is for sure living up to the name.

I am, also, quietly proud of myself for showing up, for participating, for actually getting on top of a chair at one point to make a point, it was experiential, I wasn’t trying to be an asshole, and doing the deal.

It’s going to be a lot of work.

A lot.

But I am up for the challenge.

And I will do it in the two-year.

There is a three-year track, but honestly I don’t think it makes it any easier for the student, it just seems to prolong the inevitable work that must be done.

I will do the work.

It will be challenging, it looks to be a lot of reading for each course, tons really, but I feel like I have given myself a good jump on some of it by reading before the intensive, finishing two of the thirteen books that I will have to read and knocking out four articles thus far, plus an hour-long video.

I will keep up.

And I have an idea about what to write about for my first paper.

The first class that I have sat through seems to be well laid out and reasonable.

It will be challenging, but I can see clearly that the last three years and how I worked through the Master’s program will actually be a benefit to me.

I am fairly self-directed and do readings all the time, I write on my own all the time, the practice keeping my pen fresh and alive for me so that when I need to write the papers I can do so without a lot of effort.

I will have to get better acquainted with the universities library system at some point though, I can see that already.

I haven’t much used it, typically going to the books assigned in my classes to write my papers, but at a certain point I will be doing independent research and I will need to have a good working knowledge of the library system.

I have also to sign up for a session with a writing fellow at school.

Not necessarily because I have grammar or even style issues, but one of my classes makes it an assignment to get connected with a fellow and develop a collaborative relationship with said fellow in an effort to get a different perspective on my writing.

I am down with that.

I just need to double back on my syllabus and find out what day I can do that.

I will be juggling a lot of things as I move forward and I can see that I need to be clear in my intent and keep my head down for a while.

I will continue to the best of my ability to show up here at my blog, to show up at my notebook in the morning, to maintain my practices, even when I am tired.

I do know that I will be more flexible with myself than I was in the beginning of my Masters degree when I had to absolutely write every day no matter what, even when it meant getting less sleep.

I’m not so much open to that sacrifice any longer.

Although my sleep here has been a bit rougher than I would like.

I have dreamed the last two nights of my ex.

The first night was a nightmare of getting separated from him and lost and I woke up so shaken from the dream.

Last night was not a nightmare per se, but it was an insightful dream and my fears definitely crept in.

I did a little Jungian dream analysis of it when I a woke and then wrote down the dream later.

I found it helpful.

I have trepidations of sleep now though.

Although, yes, it does appear to be true, I have no roommate!

No one has shown up.

Every time I walk into the room to take a break between lectures or classes I half expect some strange woman to be unpacking and taking over the second bed, but here it is the third night of the intensive and no one is here but me.

It really has been a huge gift.

I can walk to the bathroom naked.

I don’t have to worry about someone else’s schedule.

I can listen to music, read, write, do what I need to do.

Gack out on Craigslist.

It’s not the best idea in the world, but I have been regularly checking the site.

I have e-mailed a few more places, but gotten no response, which may be indicative of the holiday weekend, or that the places have already been rented.

It’s September.

Holy shit.

Two months.

I have about 60 days to find a place.

I’m not worried yet, but I do find myself going on Craigslist more and more.

I made myself get off it earlier and turned my attention to reading through another paper instead.

Like I said, I am pretty good at being self-directed.

To which end I shall now direct myself to wrap this up and wind it down.

I have a full day tomorrow.

Nighty night.

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Slow it Down

May 2, 2012

My God.

Every time I get on this site there is some new widget, gadget, thingamabob, doohickey, stupidity inducing thing happening.

People, stop.

Please.

Just when I am getting the hang of something you have to go in there and change it all up.  I just spent a half an hour downloading three photos that yesterday I was able to do in three minutes.

Ugh.

This goes for you too, FaceCrack.  Stop it.  In the relentless pursuit of keeping things fresh you are fucking it up.

I may go back to the original blog post here soon, incidentally, just come over and read one of my journals.  I’ll make you a cup of tea and let you peer over my shoulder as I write.

No I won’t.

However, I am thinking that I will be letting you, or some special someone’s out there in on the journals.  I am compiling them.  I have been for some time.  I have stacks, heaps, piles of paper in bins, in storage, in boxes.

One day, one day I will go through them and put them together in some semblance or another.  I have a library of self.

Oh goody.

That should make fairly boring reading.

Some one asked me while out on a date what my blog was about.

Me.

I have no other interests it appears.  Although I am branching out with the photography.  I ran into Chris Black the other night as I was walking back through the Mission headed home to the bungalow.

I stopped in the middle of the cross walk and whipped out my camera to get a shot of Bernal Hill at dusk from the corner of South Van Ess and 24th.  The sky was glorious.

I did not capture what I saw.  But I did get to see Chris, who was leaned up outside the Jelly Donut smoking a cigarette.  Chris takes photographs and I asked if I could pick his brains some day soon.  I got his number and we may get together for a little photography pow wow in the very near future.

I also took out the camera that we use at work and took a photograph of a complete bike.  I am getting better at seeing how the best photographs are set up.  Even a bicycle can be static or dynamic depending on how the photo is framed.  I get nervous picking up the big Canon it feels like a lot of camera and I don’t know what exactly to do with it.

There is just a ton of stuff to learn.  Like anything else I can get overwhelmed with it.  I am taking this as just a fun thing to go out and do.  A fun way to capture the moment and to show what I am seeing.  I feel compelled to show you what I am seeing and to share with you my experiences.

Perhaps that is a shallow way to be, but I feel best after I have expressed and written and blogged and posted my photos.  I feel like a proud little parent.

Like the writing, the photography is going to take practise and it will happen as long as I show up and do a little each day.

Speaking of showing up and doing the writing, I have me some more writing to do after I get done with the blog tonight.  I have an unexpected meet up with Carolyn and I have some writing that I thought I had until next Thursday to write.  She texted me today and said, hey I can meet this week after all.

Oh shit.

There will be no fun time in WhoVille tonight, town’s closing shop early for inventory.  Time to throw out the old dented cans of pumpkin from last Thanksgiving and let in the sunshine.

Sigh.

Which means of course that I both want to run away and hide underneath my blankets on the bed.  I am rather abashed to say that my 500th post

500th Post!

Is going to be a rather bland little blog-a-log.  I have other writing that I must attend to and I am to distracted to give this guy his fair due.

Fact is, I would not be writing this blog if I was attending to the other kind of writing that I have to do from time to time.

So I bid you a fair adieu and an early eve.

It’s time to whip out the original technology–pen to paper.


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