Posts Tagged ‘play time’

Your Assignment

July 30, 2015

Should you so accept.

Is to.

Have fun.




I’m sorry, didn’t you see that gigantic stack of reading I have to do on the table in my little kitchen area–which is also now my study area/work desk/cry in my coffee and stress area.


Fun is out of the question.

“I think you shouldn’t do any reading the weekend,” he said to me at the Church Street Café this evening as lay my head down on the table and the tears seeped out of my eyes.

I sat back up.

“That’s not an option,” I said.

In fact, as I was leaving my domicile this evening to take the N-Judah to Church and Duboce I walked out the door as the mail man was delivering another textbook to my house.

Five down.

Two to go.

And this sucker was a big one.

I spent about an hour and a half reading this afternoon after running some errands and grocery shopping.

Yes, people, I did sleep in.

And yes it was glorious, but at some point the call of the bed faded to the call of breakfast and I got up and went on my merry way.

I was supposed to be harkening to the call of fun, but I did not answer the door when it called.

Instead it took me 90 minutes to read 30 pages in the text-book for Human Development.

I had looked at the syllabus and thought, oh hey, only three chapters to read in this one, no biggie, I can totally knock that out before I go meet my person at Church at Market at 6:30p.m. in fact, I may even have time to sneak up to Whole Foods and grab a couple of things that I couldn’t get between Outer Avenues, my food co-op up on 44th and Judah, and Safeway.

But no.

That’s not what happened.

I was barely able to finish one chapter, truth be told, I did not actually finish the chapter.

The chapter was 50 pages.

The three chapters are composed of 150 pages, slightly longer than I had first surmised.

And I’m still thinking in novel size books, not text books, this tome I was reading, is just that, a tome.

It is a big hefty ass book.

If it were an ass it would be callipygian.

I digress.

The book is a text-book, the language is scholarly, and again, I am finding that the concepts are not beyond my grasp, but that I have to read with a different kind of eye, that I have to slow down and make sure that I am absorbing the ideas.

There are a lot of ideas going on.

And there are a lot of words on the page.

I would say double what a novel is and so, yeah, it’s taking me longer.

I have to remind myself, too, that I am not in the reader mode yet, I am discovering what I need to do, how I  need to sit, where I need to sit for that matter.

How I read.

I mean, yes, I do have an undergraduate degree, but it was in English Literature and well, people I’m a fiction reader, so the reading for that was not so difficult, nor arduous.

I’m reading literal ideas and thoughts, it’s not so much a narrative, but a fact gathering, complying, and understanding.

I’m also getting a very holistic, as in whole picture, view of what my field is going to be covering.

Ultimately I will be a therapist and I am certain that the skills really necessary to have are not going to all come out of a text-book; however, they are going to be based there and the knowledge needs to be firmly implanted in my brain.

I made the decision while reading the text-book for my Human Development course that I was going to need to go back and actively read the text with a notebook and answer the questions that were coming up in the material–it’s summarized at the end of each section with some tidy little bits of what you’ll need to know, and although I got the gist of the material, I couldn’t spit it right back out.

I’m going to either read all the chapters and then re-read them with a notebook or start from the beginning and re-read using a notebook.

Fortunately, I have some.

Notebooks that is.

I picked up some today while I was out doing my grocery shopping.

Four glitter notebooks.

I’m not sure what that says about me.

But I feel that Freud would approve.

And if not Freud, that anal motherfucker, perhaps Erickson.

I feel a plethora of new knowledge getting slid into my brain and despite not knowing how to accommodate it all and how that it’s all going to get in there, I do enjoy learning and I am grateful that I am going to continue to grow in my knowledge base and to continue to be teachable.

So that, ultimately, I can be of service.

That’s where it’s at.


I have to enjoy my life a little too.

I need to strike a balance.

I need to have some fun in there.

I may play hooky, for real tomorrow and figure out what that is going to look like and how I will be flexible enough to let it in, the fun that is.

I have been given this suggestion before and I absolutely do need to implement it.

I may not go off camping, although there is a narrow percentage of possibility on my plate, so if I don’t, I need to do something here in town–go to the DeYoung, see the Turner Exhibit; go to Free Gold Watch and play pinball; go to  a matinée–when I was the last time I went to a movie in the middle of the day?

Or take the ferry out to Sausalito and play tourist.

That is always something I enjoy doing.

Fun will be had.

Damn it.

Let it begin now.

I Don’t Like You!

October 15, 2014

That’s ok kid, I know that’s not what you mean.

What you mean is, I don’t like that my mom leaves when you show up.

Nobody likes that.

I understand the correlation, but you like me.

You do.

How do I know?

You told me so.

Oh my heart.

It was a full day, a good day, a big day for staying at home and in pajamas as long as possible since it was also rather a grey day, a dreary overcast day, threatening, so it seemed at one point, to rain down on the city, so pjs and snacks and stories for the late morning into early afternoon, naps and quiet time.

It was a busy day because it was the second day off from school for the oldest boy, so I had two guys on my hands today and lots to do.

But somehow it all got done.

In addition to it all getting done there was also pirates, swashbuckling adventures on the high seas, telescopes, eagles nests, scurvy!

How does one get a little pirate to eat their zucchini?



There were also sea monsters, astronauts, space ships, zip lines through the jungle, excavators, working guys, and coloring of maps, hiding of secret pirate treasures and the unearthing of said booty.

Plus, pooping.

And peeing.

On the potty.

Potty training is happening for the two-year old and it’s going pretty smashingly.

Actually having the older brother around while using the little potty has been super helpful.

That and food bribes.

They love grapes.

So, use the potty, get grapes.

Not a bad trade-off.

And the trade-off to being told that “I don’t like you” this morning was a very happy, contented sweet little guy crawling into my lap, the older boy, the four-year old, after dinner.

“Can I sit in you lap,” he said already crawling into my arms.

Then he tucked his head down underneath my chin and snuggled with me, “I love you.”

Heart melting.

“I love you too.”

We sat and watched his younger brother fling fish about and rice and the happy, I mean very happy, family dog snuffle it all up like the best vacuum cleaner ever.

Then it was bath time, pajama time, rescue on the high seas time, submarine ship time, make pretend avocado sandwich time, more using the potty time, marching band time, and last but certainly not least, snuggle in nanny lap time while I read them Dr. Seuss’s “Oh the Places You’ll Go.”

Not a bad day for Mary Fucking Poppins.

Not bad at all.

Lest you think that all I do is the deal with my nanny charges, whilst hoisting the pretend Jolly Roger on the stroller on the way to the park, I did also confirm that I have a date on Sunday.


Coffee at Trouble.

Hike at Fort Funston after.

Not that I will be hiking any huge hills, but the paths around there should be just fine.

I’m not really sure that this is going to work, he’s an acquaintance/friend I have known for years, but we rarely see each other off of social media since I moved out of the Mission.

I am not certain there’s chemistry there, but, well, like I said, trying the different things hoping for different results.

Instead of doing the same thing expecting different results.

The difference, it is subtle, no?

Yet huge.

I don’t expect he’s the one, in fact I don’t suspect that any man is the one, that just puts a whole house load of pressure on any guy that I am dating.

Not really a fair proposition.

However, I do suspect that he’s part of the process and that it will lead to where I am supposed to be.

I am just dating.

I am going to try to have one date a week.

That is the goal.

Once a week, go on a date, whether it’s for coffee, to the movies, out for dinner, playing pinball at Free Gold Watch, going dancing, walking the beach, hiking in Muir woods, making out on a cable car, walking the labyrinth at Grace Cathedral, going roller skating on Sundays in the park swing dancing (not that I do either of the later very well), going to the Conservatory of Flowers, taking in the view from the top deck of the DeYoung Museum, eating a bowl of pho, walking around North Beach, going to the big kite store in China Town, swinging on the swings at South Park, seeing a show, walking along the Embarcadero, going to the Farmer’s Market, taking a ferry to Sausalito, what ever it is.

I am going to do one date a week.

Until something happens.

I might crack.

I might get a boyfriend.

I might have some hilarious stories.

I might be kissed.

I might get flowers.

I might hear some really bad jokes.

I might have to sit through some odd dates with odd ducks.

But I will be out there doing it, rather than sitting at home twiddling my thumbs and wondering why a girl is going home early on a Friday night.

Not that I can do anything this Friday though.

I am working for the family so that mom and dad can attend a friend’s going away party.

The nice thing about it is that I won’t have to start on Friday until 2 p.m.

I could actually go out Thursday, if I wanted to.

Thursday’s are a tough night, close to the weekend, but not quite, so I don’t want to count on it, but it will be awful nice to sleep in on Friday.

And Uber to and from work.

The family is going to cover that so that I don’t have to ride my bike home at midnight.

I asked the mom the details about the evening and said I would like to have an Uber home or a taxi cab and as I did not want to ride my bike home at midnight through drunk infested waters in the Mission, and she said of course!

And before I said anything about just taking MUNI in for work, she said, “and you’ll Uber to work too, we’ll cover it.”

Damn Gina.

Thank you new family.

I’m feeling the love.

It doesn’t hurt that it’s wrapped up in adorable little boys either.

Especially when I get the hug and squish at the end of the day.

Today was a good day.

And a date for the weekend.

Not too shabby.

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