Fall in love with me?
I asked you.
Recently.
I mean.
I know when.
Or whereabouts.
I remember.
Yet.
I needed to hear you say it.
The pause as you thought, all the memories of our first “I love you’s,” tumbled in between the breath of your response and the beat of my heart.
“When you started writing me poetry.”
My heart stopped.
I knew.
And yet.
I was not expecting quite that response.
For days now.
Poems, pieces and bits and images, meander through my head.
I must write him another poem.
I must.
I want him to still love me.
I know you do.
(please don’t fall out of love with me)
What do you want to do?
I asked.
You paused.
“Keep on kissing you and making you happy.”
My love.
You make me so happy.
It’s been such a journey and it’s not over yet.
Has just barely begun.
That first I love you an inscription.
A quote.
The beginning of the preface.
Let alone the first chapter of a book.
Our story.
Well.
The narrative, all pink and purple blush, like a Victorian house at sunset with newspaper hearts strung across the front porch, Valentine paper dolls hands entwined, it marches on.
I did not burn down the house.
Thank God.
No.
I did not.
Not at all.
Even when I tried to break up with you.
And I did try.
You just wouldn’t let me.
Or I wouldn’t let me.
Or God wouldn’t let me.
“You never really broke up with him.”
My therapist.
A wise woman with knowing eyes, told me recently.
I never really did.
I could not disentangle the threads of you in the woof of me.
I never wanted to.
I never want to.
I want to be touching noses with you like kittens do for always.
I want to be in the crook of your arm forever.
It is home.
And when you are away.
I am homesick.
I get homesick for you so fast.
I miss you now.
Even though we were just talking.
I was thinking about you as I drove home, down towards the gloaming sunset and grey blue haze hovering over the twilight ocean.
Thinking about you and the poem I wanted to write you.
The love beating in my heart an infinity bracelet of desire and longing that has no end.
Thinking about you so hard.
That.
You.
Call.
You felt it.
You knew.
You know me.
I am known by you.
This means everything.
I have known and know great love.
You are my greatest love.
My moon.
I will watch for you again through the back window of my studio tonight as I lay down to sleep.
Waiting.
For.
When you fall from the sky and shine your love light on my face.
I will lay dreaming.
Dreams about.
Serenading.
The mermaids to the beach.
Each to each.
Waiting.
Waiting again.
For you.
Your embrace, the dunes, the sea, the warm husk of your breath on my neck.
And the oft-repeated, as you wish, whispered into the shell of my ear.
My love I never could cut asunder.
My only wish to be now and always.
Your.
Babygirl.
Auntiebubba 