Posts Tagged ‘Queen of Hearts’

Caught In A Down Pour

October 26, 2014

I was suddenly in Paris.

I was really in Noe Valley.

The rain was that sudden, heavy, sharp, the color of the sky, light soft pink around the dark grey edges, the mottled heavy clouds shifting and massing and splitting apart as the wind scuttled them through the valley, it could have been Paris.

I almost ducked into a doorway to wait it out.

It was certainly passing through fast and I knew there was nothing behind it, clear skies, sharp air, the whisper of smoke from a chimney up the hill, I ran for it.

I was wet.

But happy for the rain.

As is anyone who is aware of the drought situation here.

I wasn’t thinking about that, however, I was thinking about the rain coat I had pulled out of my closet and then put back in.

Of course I had.

It wasn’t going to rain, didn’t the universe know I was on my scooter and the last thing I wanted was a wet, dark, rainy ride home up and down the hills of San Francisco.

I mean, hello.

But there it was the rain, and I was glad for it, glad for the sudden deluge and the popping up the hood on my sweatshirt and the fact was I would be dry and warm soon with hot tea and grand company.

We sat for an hour and read and got right with the world and had some laughs and did some work and it was exactly what I needed.

I always get what I need when I get out-of-the-way, but I have a habit of stepping on my own toes.

So I was happy, am happy, to report, that I did not step on my toes tonight and I have a date for tomorrow.


Like that.

“Now that you’ve started doing the work, the date last night, well, you’re going to find that the universe is going to open up the door.”

I smiled.

I actually believed.

And I acted.

I’m not going to say a whole lot more about that, I have a hard time writing about certain things at times, this is one of those times.

Suffice to say I rode my little Vespa home, up and over the hills and through the woods, well, alongside them as the case may be (I ride home along the park and it does feel like the wilds sometime, I can sense all things verdant that used to be the edge of the world–the old growth trees in the park often humble me with their strength, silence, longevity) with a smile, nay a grin on my face.

Let me say when there’s no chemistry it’s apparent, even when I wouldn’t mind if there were, even if he’s a nice guy, even if.

But when there’s chemistry.


Then, why, I grin.

And I am grinning now.

It’s sort of hard to write this and keep things close to my chest, I like being transparent, but I also don’t want everything in my life on this blog, somethings, my dears, are just for me.

And onwards.


Next weekend.

I’m doing something.

I am going to get my Halloween on.

I am really quite surprisingly pleased that a number of my friends are going to be doing something for the holiday.

I had a friend ask me last week if I would go with her, if we could find a ride, over to a big party in San Rafael; only to find today that another darling friend who I have not seen since I got back from Burning Man, is going.

Then another friend tonight mentioned that he’s got a friend from camp at Burning Man staying with him next weekend and they too were contemplating heading over to San Rafael.

I guess I need to get myself a costume.

My first instinct is to go as  bunny rabbit.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I have something for bunnies, I don’t need to get all psychological about it, I just like the little critters, and yes, I did consider going as a jackalope, I mean, come on, how fabulous would that be?

It’s the horns that are tricky.

I did find a super cute head band with horns and moss and flowers on Etsy.

But, uh, for $130 I don’t think so.

I could afford it, I paid rent early today and took care of my student loans and put money in my savings account, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to drop that kind of cash on a set of horns.

I can, however, probably pick up a set of bunny ears and draw some whiskers on my cheeks and a little nose, and wear some pink and call it a day.

I also thought about going as a modern-day interpretation of the queen of hearts, you know since I am trying to put myself out there and date and be vulnerable and stuff.

And stuff.


I could wear my heart tights, a heart sweater, my heart earrings, wear my hair up in braids on my head and get a little tiara from a Multi Kulti on Valencia Street and maybe stick some roses in my braids, some bright red lipstick and voila, she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve.

Conceptually I think it’s cute, but that may just be me.

I’m not interested in being some sexy vixen thing for Halloween, but I do like to look pretty.  Of course if sexy happens, then cool, but that’s not always the aim for me when I have dressed up.

Last year I did wear bunny ears with my little girl Thursday that I was nanny for on the day of the holiday, her grandma made her the cutest little bunny outfit and I did her makeup and also sported a pair of ears to music class with her.

So maybe, bunny rabbit is out, now that I realize I was a bunny, however fleeting, last year.

Queen of Hearts it is.

Seems apropos.

I’m going to stop blogging now.

And go back to grinning.


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