Posts Tagged ‘rain fender’

Well, That Was No Fun

October 28, 2016

I knew, sort of, but not really, that I might be courting disaster by making the decision I made this morning.

And I made it anyway.

The good news is that I did not get hurt.

But man.

It was an uncomfortable ride home.

I decided to not take my scooter in to work.

I had planned on taking MUNI.


I don’t know what happened, but I got a wild hair up my ass and decided I was going to take my one speed.


I love my bicycle and its true I have done tons of wet weather riding in San Francisco.


It’s been a minute since I’ve done any commuting on it and I was seriously regretting it as I sloshed through puddles and got soaked, seriously drowned rat soaked on my way home tonight.

The one upside is that I stripped down completely, threw all my clothes in the wash–prompting an early start to the weekend laundry and also giving the excuse to crawl into my pajamas and put on my very cozy bunny slippers.

I mean a wet, rainy ride home in the rain should be rewarded with fluffy bunny slippers.

Just sayin’.

I’m glad I did it, the bike ride in was actually really nice.

I had forgotten how much I love the smell of clover blooming in Kezar Triangle or the smell of the eucalyptus in the Pan Handle.

So good.

It was also a nice ride as I made it in before the rain began to fall.

I even popped over to Valencia Cyclery and got a detachable fender for the rainy ride home.

And it fell off.

I don’t even know where.

But it fell off and I got drenched.


I was wearing a rain jacket so my body was dry, just from the waist down got wet.


I won’t be doing that again.

Sometimes memory can play tricks on me.


Oh, it’s not that bad, riding in the rain, at night, in San Francisco, where I swear people lose their minds when it rains and they drive.

I don’t understand it.

Especially since I learned how to drive in Wisconsin, meaning ice, snow, sleet, horrible driving conditions, I know it’s a little challenging when the weather changes, but it’s crazy out there.

Tomorrow I’ll take the MUNI train in, good old N-Judah line.

It’ll be too long, which is what prompted me to do the bicycle today too, it just takes such a long time to get to work on the train–it’s triple to quadruple the time it takes in comparison to my scooter and about twice as long as me riding in on my bike.

I have a thing for efficiency and using my time well.

I just didn’t want to waste time today.


I needed the exercise, let me also put that out there.

I sort of fell off the beam with the yoga and I haven’t been in about two months.


Maybe not quite that long, but a month and a half?


That seems about right.

And I will get revved up and say to myself, tomorrow, tomorrow, I’ll go back to the studio and I just can’t get my ass to do it.

I have been praying for willingness, I have put that shit in my God box, I have told my people, both of whom were like, girl get yourself back into that.

I know.

I know.

I am being stubborn.

I’m holding a lot of excess emotions and it’s not fun.

I need to exercise, I’m an active person and when I transitioned from riding my bicycle 15 miles a day five days a week to riding my scooter almost every day, well, the yoga was a huge deal.

I also.

Fuck I don’t want to say it, but it’s on my mind.

I’ve gained a few pounds.

Not a lot.

I’d say three to five pounds.

So either I start working out again or I have to cut down on my food intake.

I don’t eat sugar or flour, I don’t eat processed foods, I don’t eat nut butters, I don’t eat white potatoes, very infrequently do I eat any kind of potato.

I eat hella healthy, but I like to have a snack at night and since I stopped riding my bike and doing the yoga I really don’t need it, but the habit, is well, a habit.

I’ve been telling myself for the last couple of weeks, the snack has to go and/or you have to go back to yoga.


I hate this stuff.

I feel like I am always working to maintain and sometimes I have to work harder to maintain than the majority of people I interact with.

Then I think.

Compare and despair.

And I think about how much work I have done, which shows me that I am capable of doing it now.

I just don’t want to.


When I think of all the things I “don’t want to do” and that I do them anyway as they are good for me, I realize again that I don’t know what’s best for me.

I have the feeling I will get back on the mat and I will cry my eyes out.

It’s been leaking out.

I cried a bit today.

Earlier this morning.

When I met with my person tonight at Church Street Cafe.


I’m just grieving some more.

And it comes and goes and I get angry and then that too passes and I’m just sorrowful.

I am not wallowing in it, which is good, I just don’t want to feel it either.

Yoga breaks me down and gives me access to a lot of those emotions and also it allows me to let go of things that aren’t mine to carry too.

Sometimes I will carry other people’s stuff without even realizing it.

I’m feeling it in my body, there’s stuff there that’s not mine, doesn’t actually matter whose stuff it is, just that it’s not mine, and I need to work it out of my system.

Riding my bicycle today helped with that.

Also talking to my person.

“Girl, get back to yoga, you need to get your ya ya’s out, you have too much energy,” he concluded, looking at me from under the brim of his yellow slicker.

“I know,” I said and ducked my head down, damn you tears.

It was just the rain on my face, I swear.

And I do know.

And when I write it down here, things change, I change.

It’s a step in the direction I need to more towards.

I don’t know that I’ll get my ass in tomorrow.

But I’m going to shoot for Saturday.

My favorite teacher is there and though he has a challenging class, he also has a kind heart and I know he’ll just be happy to see me there again.

He always is.




You read it here first.


9 a.m. Saturday.

It’s a date.


Someone Stole My House

April 2, 2014

She cried plaintive and sudden in the silence.

I shuddered.

How bad is it when you are stealing the umbrella of a homeless woman?


I shivered some more on my bicycle ride home from 7th and Irving, after having made a short, drenched trek from Cole Valley to the Inner Sunset just a brief hour previous.

I was wet.


Not miserable though.

A little wary.

A bit scared.

The good kind of fear, the cautious kind, the let the cars go ahead, squeeze that front brake slowly, slow, slow, slow, pause, and take the glasses off.

They ain’t gonna do you no good bleary with rain.

It was a wet ride home, let me tell you.

But no one had stolen my umbrella–it’s in the hallway, and when I got home, I have a home to come home to, another grateful thing, rent was paid this past Friday–no one had appropriated my house.

I peeled the we clothes off, me, literally peeled, cranked up the heater (I think I may actually pause here in a moment, it’s almost as warm as I want it, too warm is not great either), lit some candles up, for the cheeriness of it, and dragged a brush through my wet tangled hair.

That, my friends, is a work out, I tell ya.

Then, into the shower.

The very hot shower.


So freaking good.



And now the clothes are in the washer and soon to be in the dryer, I had to wash off my messenger bag too, it was pretty road grimy, not too bad considering I do have my rain fender on over my rear wheel, but it still got a bit gross.

This too, a blessing.

I have lived in places before where the laundry was not on site, not in the building, not on the same block, and had to dry out the coat and scarf and hope that the shoes would all be dry in the morning when I had to get up and go do it all over again.

But tomorrow, it doesn’t look like rain.

In fact, when I was coming home in the worst of it, I could still see ahead of me, a bright clearing, a gloaming silver and streaky blue where the last light of the day was leaking through the cloud banks.

It will all blow off and tomorrow and Thursday look clear.

Friday, again, probably rain, but Friday I will probably take the MUNI to work.

“I could loan you an umbrella,” my boss said to me sweetly concerned about my riding off into the wet.  “You could take MUNI in the morning.”

She was entirely correct.

I could take MUNI in the morning, but I don’t care for the unreliable N-Judah to get me to work on time.  It will get me to work, but I am either quite a bit early or just a little bit late.

Neither scenario am I a fan of.


Friday, I have a slightly later start and the 45 minutes of leeway I get do allow me to get up at my normal 7 a.m. time and hit the train to the bus to the job without too much anxiety about my timing.

I did not regret that I took my bike home.

I still got home faster than had I taken the train.

Albeit quiet a bit wetter.

As I mentioned earlier, I am grateful to have a home to come home to and get myself cozy in.  It really is a miracle that I am where I am considering all the crazy in my life.

I forget that sometimes when I get in fear about not having enough or getting what I want or being afraid of losing what I have.

I had some rant going in my head this afternoon when I managed to sneak out to the park with the boys in between a cloud burst.

I mean, really, it was amazing.

We made it to Golden Gate park and back without getting drenched.

We did get a little wet, it started up again two and a half blocks away from the house, but my instincts had sussed out that we would have the time to go and maybe get in a carousel ride.

The carousel itself was closed, but the swings were happening and I got to have a minute outside the house to which I have spent a lot of time in the last few days with the super wet weather.

Change of scenery.

Change of pace.

Stretch the legs.

Dash through the wet park to shake out the ya yas in my head.

“Did you drink today,” a booming though imploded in my brain when the fear of not getting what I want went galloping through my head as I walked the path of the park pushing the double stroller ahead of me.


I have not.

And I don’t plan on doing so.

I instantly relaxed.

I let go.

I just surrendered.

So things aren’t on my time line.

When the fuck have they ever been?

I am completely fine.

Taken care of.



The worry, the anxiety, free-floating and useless, drained away and yes, the ride home was not the most pleasant thing I have ever experienced, but it was an experience.

And as a writer, first and foremost, whether published to great acclaim or not, I write, I need experiences.

I can tell you exactly what it feel like to ride through the rain in San Francisco when the wind is cold and the rain falls hard.

When the tops of your thighs are wet, but not the bottom side, the cold stick of blue jeans and the sodden squish of water in a cloth Converse shoe, the part of my back that suddenly, involuntarily shivered, when my jacket rode up and my bare skin got a heavy splash of cold water on it.

Or the way that sky looked, ranging out over the heavy gray sea.

The curls of clouds pushing forward on the ocean wind and the milk cream of light, skinned blue along the edges where the lingering light of day shed its last kiss on my wet face.

Nothing is wasted.

There are no mistakes in God’s world.

And when I surrender to that.

Then everything really is alright.




I am home.


Completely taken care of.

Mary Poppins It Up

February 7, 2014

I am not riding my bike to work tomorrow.

No, the wheel is fine, no more flat tires this week.

I just don’t want another day of riding in the rain.

It is supposed to rain all weekend and I have enough time tomorrow morning to take the train and use my umbrella.

My gigantic, heart-shaped umbrella that I ordered especially for Burning Man this past year having been inspired by my friend in Rome who had one similar.

I think I shall wear a red dress and put my hair up to just have some icing on the cake.

Because if you are going to wear rainy day gear you may as well have fun with it.

I don’t have rain gear, something I have been meaning to remedy and the time has just consistently gotten away with me.  I have not made a trip to Sports Basement to do so and the couple of places I did check in with, although having some, it was not what I was looking for.

Determined to not feel cold and wet all day at work I put on the back fender to my bicycle and charged up the lights on my laptop–I have rechargeable bike lights that charge on the USB port on my laptop–making sure they were at their brightest luminosity.

I wore thick winter leggings, in black glitter, a pair of jean shorts, a long sleeve black top over the tank top, a sweatshirt, my jean jacket, and my black glitter infinity scarf, put my hair in pigtails to keep it off my face, pocketed my glasses–too hard to see with rain drops all over them–and put a hat on my head.

I arrived at work earlier than I expected, also having left ten minutes earlier in case people were cuckoo on the road, which happens often when the weather turns wet, and way over heated, but ultimately, dry.

Not bad.

The day was mellow for me, the rain held steady all day and my little charge and I did not do much besides reading  and singing and making little videos to send to her folks.

We did “You Are My Sunshine” and “If You’re Happy and You Know It”.


Really adorable.

Her grandparents were in town to celebrate her second birthday and when I showed her grandmother the video this afternoon of her singing she clutched my arm and said, “Oh, thank you!”

Apparently my photos from our days have made their way to the grandparents and she gushed about how much they love getting them.

It felt really nice to be acknowledged and to share the joy of getting to work with their grand-daughter.

I also took advantage of the grandparents being with us in the early part of the day to clean and tidy and take care of the house, a little birthday gift to the parents.

I don’t always feel compelled to go above and beyond that much, but it really was also a way to keep myself busy while they played with her.

Then they were off to see the sites and my charge and I went for a little walk.

I bundled her up in the stroller with extra blankets and layers and popped the plastic skin over the top and we ducked out during a slight break in the rain to stretch my legs and give us a little change of pace.

We walked a few blocks, went to BiRite sampled the blood oranges and cheese.

I bought my bag of Stumptown Holler Mountain and some gorgeous organic apples.

Then a quick duck into The Mill for an Americano with almond milk, for me, not my charge, and by the time we got back to the house it was lunch time.

We ate together and sang some more songs and then snuggled and she went down like a little dream boat to nap and I had two hours to read and catch up on some e-mails and texts.

One of which was the very exciting text message from a friend who read my post about researching getting a glitter helmet, and lo and behold, he has one I can haz.


Oh, dear lord it is stupid cute.

Black glitter with silver stars.

I have been trying to get the photo that my friend sent me to one of my other accounts to have it for the post, but the internet is a little wonky right now and I am done trying.

I don’t feel like wasting more time on it, suffice to say, it is spanking cute.

In fact, serendipity, it matches, exactly, what I was wearing today.

Made me laugh right out loud when I was sitting down to breakfast this morning and checking my phone to get the text from my friend and then see the photo attached.

I yipped with glee, basically.

Said, “I want,” and “yes please.”

We’ll meet up for lunch soon and the hand off shall happen.

Oh my things are moving that way.

It will be so lovely to show up for work without having broken a sweat.

So nice.

Funny, wonderful, really, how things fall right into place when they are supposed to.

I mean, my friend offered me this scooter years ago and I wasn’t ready.

For what ever reason, I am now.

Has something to do with doing the work, I suppose.

Going where the resistance is and walking through it.

Or riding through it, as the case may be.

Tomorrow, though, no riding of vehicles, except the train and the bus.

I shall go slow.

I shall wear my trousers rolled.

I shall, wait, I am not going to the beach, I am going to the Castro.

I shall use my Mary Poppins umbrella and show my that my heart really does belong in San Francisco.

Where I will show up, dry and in good cheer for my last nanny shift of the week.

I almost forgot it’s Friday.

Nice how the week has gone by.

Nice to have shown up for it.

Small actions that have led, almost miraculously, to me signing up for the Motorcycle Safety Course, confirming the buy of a scooter, and being given the helmet of my dreams.

“When it’s meant to be,” she told me once, “it will all fall magically into place in a way you cannot imagine.”

I could not have imagined this last week.

And yet, here it is.

How wonderful.


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