To remember.
Nothing striking or out of the ordinary.
But just a lovely day.
A sweet day.
A day when the fog actually lifted and I saw some sunshine, surprisingly late in the day too, it cleared off around 6:30p.m. and was clear all the way through to sunset.
Albeit chilly, it was such a welcome reprieve from the constant summer fog that I made up my mind right quick to get out into that sunshine and eat it up.
I deserved a sunshiny walk on the beach.
I did a lot today.
Laundry, grocery shopping, cooked two separate meals, both lunch and dinner so that I would have plenty of food prepped for the week and then some to toss in the freezer.
I made a sort of jambalaya, my own edited version, with shredded roast chicken, shrimp, Andouille sausage, pork, corn, black olives, onion, garlic, brown rice, crushed tomatoes.
Super yummy and I froze 3/4s of it.
I ate a big bowl for lunch, put a couple of containers in the fridge for meals and I also roasted a chicken for dinner–I happily ate salt and pepper roasted chicken with tarragon butter and brown rice that I seasoned with turmeric, Spike, garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper–savory rice.
I love cooking and I love having a full fridge at the beginning of the week so I don’t have to squeeze in a shopping trip to the store when I am in the middle of a full tilt boogie schedule.
I also went to yoga and got my sweat on, super challenging class, I fell in one of the poses.
Splat!
On my belly and just laughed out loud.
So I feel, so what?
I tried the pose.
I am certain I will fall again, as long as I can laugh at myself, though, then I’m ok.
When I start taking myself to seriously then I know I am in trouble.
I met with a lady as well and did the deal and read and talked and fuck.
It was so good.
I called my person and had a good long check in.
I called a friend who’s going through a hard time and suffering a big loss.
I had a really nice and connected day.
I also took a car over to Cheap Pete’s and picked up my two prints that I brought back from Paris.
I am super happy with the way they turned out and I spent some time re-arranging the art on my walls to accommodate the new pieces.
I don’t have much space, but I think I arranged things well and I’m very pleased with the additions to my collection.
Very pleased.
I really do like my home.
It does feel like an extension of me, of my personality.
It is tiny, but it’s me and I am grateful for all the things I have and all the ways I get to express myself.
I also like that wherever I look there is something pretty to rest my eyes on.
This is my sanctuary and I adore it.
Sure.
I want more space.
But that will come when it comes.
I am experiencing this deepening of faith in places I never knew I needed to have deepened, seeing experiences and suddenly have the knowledge that though I did not know it at the time, I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
Seeing what I needed to see.
And being seen.
Regardless of my ignorance.
I was seen.
And all the things that have led me here were all the experiences I need to have.
So being in this little in-law at the edge of the city, by the edge of the sea, for whatever length of time I am supposed to be is quite fine by me.
I am happy.
I am warm.
My home is sweet and I have precious memories of every foot of it that make me smile when I least expect it.
I have been smiling a lot recently.
I repeat.
I am very happy.
And yes.
Life is full.
But I had such a restful day.
Yes, I did do a lot, but I found all sorts of down time too.
I read a little bit from a novel, novel that, reading something that is not psychology related, a John Updike novel I had gotten last year for my birthday.
My birthday is in December.
Ahem.
I don’t have much down time for pleasure reading, and sometimes I feel that I shouldn’t even, but in the end it was too delicious to not.
I also read a few more letters in the book of Chopin’s Letters that were sweet and nostalgia inducing.
I love the old language used, laced with bits of French.
Lines that caught my attention I underlined and starred, the turn of a phrase that I found enchanting or a sentiment that I echoed and felt stir me.
“I kiss you heartily. Remember me as I remember you.”
And this.
“I wrote it only to arouse a pleasurable emotion, such as greetings usually produce.”
How often have I written something just for the pleasurable emotion of the writing?
So often.
And.
“I press you to my lips and say goodbye till we meet.”
And.
“Give me a kiss, My Life.”
I love how he capitalized “My Life,” how important the person to whom he is writing becomes as I read the letter.
I sat in the sun on my back porch and read these letters and glowed.
Then.
Yes.
I decided it was time for a walk on the beach and it was as I had hoped.
Deserted.
The all day long fog and chilly breezy had deterred most of the city from even bothering with going out to the beach.
I saw one tourist family picnicking.
A father and son in wetsuits with boogie boards.
A couple walking a dog.
A paddle boarder out in the surf.
And me.
There was no one there.
Me, the sand, the ocean, God.
It was beautiful.
I walked the surf, rolled my jeans up, they are still a little damp hours later where a high tide splashed me, stuck my flip-flops in my basket bag and collected seashells.
Yes.
I did.
I collected shells.
Shush.
That’s the kind of girl I am.
I write poetry and collect sea shells and I am just fine with that.
I get to be many, many, many things.
And now that my well is replenished.
I will go back to being a nanny and a therapist.
The week is full.
But full in a good way.
Thank you Sunday for your gifts.
I feel that Monday and I shall be great friends just from the beautiful reprieve I had today and all the things I got to do to take care of myself.
Luckiest damn girl in the world.
Seriously.