Posts Tagged ‘The Poppins’

My Love Tank Filled Up

August 24, 2014

Full to overflowing.

I mean wow.

I wasn’t expecting it to happen and it just did.

I had a nice day with my little guy, some bumps here and there, it’s hard for a little boy to adjust to the heat and the things and the excitement and all the people.

It becomes overwhelming really fast.

And pop.

He will have to reset and refuel and nap and ease back.

Otherwise tantrums.

And that’s cool.

It’s just an expression of feelings that he cannot articulate, and there’s nothing wrong with having feelings, good or bad.

They pass.

Sometimes I feel like they never will, my feelings, but they do and just as I can have a challenging day out here on the playa, I can also have a number of random encounters that blow wide the doors of my heart.

And things are getting to be a challenge—but not in the way of the heat or the dust or the work—just the number of people here at Burning Man.

I mean.

It’s the Saturday night BEFORE the event happens and there’s a wait at the gate hours long, there’s more than 25,000 people already here.

That estimate was given to me by my boss late afternoon today and I bet there’s more than that now.

The gate for regular attendees will open tomorrow morning at 10 a.m.

The Bureau of Land Management has allowed the event to open its gates early to help with the egress of vehicles on the road heading in.

FYI.

The event doesn’t even start until Monday–but it feels like it’s happening all around me.

Right now, it’s all theme camps and workers coming in, artists, musicians, builders, art cars, volunteers, EMS, rangers, fire performers, the folks that do the work to delight all the senses and stop the heart.

Then there’s just the things that are heart stopping for me in particular.

I ran into my first bunny rabbit at the Artery on the Esplanade.

I was heading into town to hit a meet up with some folks at 8p.m. and there she was—Action Girl!

I saw the beautiful read hair and just about rolled over her on my bicycle.

I knew that the Junebug could not be far behind and I was correct.

Oh good gravy.

My heart is just booming now, remembering.

She tackled me with love and I just swept her up in my arms and carried her across the road way and sat down on a bicycle rack and I don’t know what I said, I mean it was just a babble of hugs and love and so good to see you’s and incoherent mumbles into her hair and neck and she still smells like Junebug and she’s still my Bug and oh.

 

Oh.

My heart.

Such damn fine goodness.

Winning.

I am winning.

She remembers me.

That, I cannot say how important that is to me or why exactly that the thought plagues me once in a while, they will forget, the charges, the babies grown, the children off to school, pre-school, other adventures, and though I know I did not lavish the love on the in vain, should they forget I would still have loved just has hard just as much, just as fierce.

But.

To have her know and remember and hug me back and tell me how much she loved me and how she giggled and wrapped her arms and legs and whole self around me, gracious, I felt so verklempt.

Ugh.

The words they do fail.

It’s love and it’s love and it’s more love and I just had my cup so filled and then overfilled and I have to say I may have gotten a little leaky, but I was able to contain myself enough to say hi to mama and papa and let them know EXACTLY where I am camped.

8:45 & C

Camp Equilibrium.

Look for the red and yellow flags.

The Bambi Airstream.

The blue chopper bicycle with the vanity plate “Carmen” on it and the purple pennant, that’s where I will be.

And there’s a dome with couches and hammocks and another little girl here—Sassafrass—and well, me, I’m here.

Let’s hang out and do makeup and talk silly talk and bounce on the jumping balls and travel to the Campoline Camp down the road.

And let’s hug.

A LOT.

Because what I have discovered, again, always more this learning, is that my heart can continue to be broke open to hold more love.

You broke me open little girl.

You made my heart bigger and now I have more capacity for love.

And the love has to be given away, because it’s best shared.

That’s the thing about sharing—there’s more for everyone.

I was not able to stay as long as I wanted.

I had places to go and people to check in with and I rode off on my bicycle into the twilight dusk of Black Rock City so glad, so grateful, so blown open, I must have glowed in the dark with the love.

I was also hoping to run into my friend who were coming into the city tonight, but I suspect that they must have had one hell of a wait at the gate and I did not want to spend my entire evening twiddling my thumbs.

I asked the woman in charge of placement at the Village they are staying at to show me where they would be located in the camp and I will pop in tomorrow.

That’s what a Poppins does.

She pops into places.

Or nanny’s, you, know, semantics.

Then the cherry, really I might be in love and I sure hope I get to meet you again, Johnny from Robot Heart, on my nanny Sundae.

I rolled up to the DMV (Department of Mutant Vehicles–all art cars that venture out on playa have to be registered and checked to make sure they are not a danger to anyone out at the event) thinking that I was seeing Heart Deco, where a friend of mine is camped.

I asked after her to the group of gentleman standing by their vehicle waiting for inspection.

One of them came up to me and asked if he hadn’t just seen me at a meeting.

“Weren’t you just with Feed The Artists?”

Nope.

“I was at a meeting elsewhere,” I said and smiled.

“What’s your name?”

“Johnny.”

“Poppins, as in Mary Fucking Poppins, Not Your Nanny, at your services,” I curtseyed over my bicycle handles, if one could be said to curtsey astride a bicycle.

“Mary Poppins?”

“Or the Poppins, I am a nanny on playa.”

Then.

The most amazing thing.

I mean, I still have goosebumps thinking about it.

He sang me “A Tuppence” from Mary Poppins.

The kissed my hand.

Swoon.

Full.

Full and then some.

I like lot’s of things.

Love, love, and love.

So good.

So blessed.

So, well, loved.

Thank you Burning Man.

So very pleased to be here.

 

Early each day to the steps of Saint Paul’s
The little old bird woman comes.
In her own special way to the people she calls,
“Come, buy my bags full of crumbs.

Come feed the little birds, show them you care
And you’ll be glad if you do.
Their young ones are hungry,
Their nests are so bare;
All it takes is tuppence from you.”

Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag.
“Feed the birds,” that’s what she cries,
While overhead, her birds fill the skies.

All around the cathedral the saints and apostles
Look down as she sells her wares.
Although you can’t see it, you know they are smiling
Each time someone shows that he cares.

Though her words are simple and few,
Listen, listen, she’s calling to you:
“Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag.”

Though her words are simple and few,
Listen, listen, she’s calling to you:
“Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag.”

 

Advertisements

Virgin Bicycle Run

August 19, 2014

That is my news today.

For the first time since my ankle injury on June 5th I rode a bicycle.

My playa bicycle.

And it was a little rusty and a little scary, but I did it!

Yay.

The ride was short.

I was looking for friends and either I got the address wrong or they weren’t around the spot there were supposed to be at 8 p.m. this evening.

I suppose it’s the thought that counts and it also speaks to the general chaos that happens out here when you are trying to locate a person, place, or thing, you often get lost, waylaid, bump into someone else, fall into a rabbit hole and you’re suddenly across the playa at a twerking party at HEAT.

Huh?

Yeah.

That’s happening any minute now.

I was invited, even though I can’t really twerk nor would I if the occasion rose, not my style so much.

I can shake my ass, I just can’t drop it like it’s hot any more.

I might drop it and not be able to pick it back up.

I may dress like a twelve-year-old on a shopping spree at Hot Topic, but my body is that of a 41-year-old woman and there are some things it just doesn’t do so well anymore.

I would go and observe, I really am tempted to see it.

There’s something about the idea of watching a bunch of drunken guys off DPW and Gate crew twerking that arouses every single bone of curiosity in my body, but it’s across the playa and I don’t have bicycle lights on my stead.

I do have lights.

I thought once the sun set and I couldn’t locate the village I was looking for that I would just ride back to camp, hook up my bike lights and head out and take some photographs and see the art as it’s being built up then swing by HEAT and see the boys twerk it out.

I got back and took the lights out of the package and realized that the guy at the store was not joking when he said that it would take about a half hour or so to hook them up.

I got wheel rim lights that roll a pattern and I am quite excited to see how they look–purple and pink hearts spinning around my front wheel, but there’s just not enough light to try to hook up a bicycle light contraption that also has 25 BLACK zip ties.

No way.

I pulled it out look at the instructions and read all sixteen of them and put it away.

I may pull a damsel in distress and find a boy to help me put the lights on my bike.

I am not so mechanically inclined.

I am, however, inclined to have them set up, so that is a must do for tomorrow.

It was a long day, 8a.m. until about 7:30 p.m. with the family.

I did get a break around lunch time, the alternating parents, nanny, and nap time with visits to the Commissary worked well enough today that I was actually able to get in a nap snack.

I didn’t think I would be able to fall asleep, I wasn’t really tired, but when the papa said I could take a little longer as he had a bit of down time before he had to head out to the 2p.m. meeting, I went to the Bambi and looked around my space.

I could read a book.

I could do some writing.

I could lie down and take a nap.

Even if I didn’t sleep it would be rest.

And.

It was too hot to go out and wander playa.

Especially since I discovered that my parasol was broken in transit.

Sad face.

What is a Poppins without a parasol?

I posted a message about having someone bring me one in and got a sweet note from a dear friend that she’ll bring me one, but I may have to scavenge up something before she gets here–this upcoming Saturday–I am going to need one and I know how disoriented I was when I was a virgin getting around, it may take my friend a day or two to find me.

Shit.

I know the city and I couldn’t find the people I went looking for tonight–despite having visited the camp every single year for the last seven burns–so to expect a virgin burner to locate me in a crowded city for a parasol drop off might be challenging.

Then again, I could get to her where she’s at.

Ack.

Anyway.

That’s a massive ways a way in the future.

Anything that is outside what I am doing tomorrow is a long ways off and not worth my bother to think about.

The focus for me is to get my bicycle lights on my rig so that I can leave camp and have a vehicle to mosey about in.

I have camped before where I had some limited access to golf carts but despite being right next to a string of them I won’t be getting access for evening joy rides.

I asked last year and got the thumbs down.

I won’t bother to ask this year.

It’s the bike or nothing.

If I go to bed on the early side of town tonight and skip napping during my break, should I get another break, I will take the time to set up the bike lights then.

That way when I get done with my shift I can go out and cruise.

I  will also locate where my people are at and arrange to see them for real tomorrow night.

Then a playa bicycle cruise under the stars with a spinning wheel of hearts to lead the way.

Sounds like a date with Destiny.

I like it.

Anyone care to join me I should be available around 9 p.m. tomorrow evening for a bike ride to deep playa to watch the stars fall down the sky.

I will be lit up and ready to roll.

Home*

August 17, 2014

And here I am at Burning Man.

Good to be home.

Good to have been given my first and quite spectacular gift without expecting it, a bracelet from Naked Bob–black rubber like those Lance Armstrong Live Strong bracelets, with the slogan on it: “Naked Bob’s Gun Camp For Kids Burning Man 2014.”

I am deeply honored.

My favorite part of the bracelet is that there is another little message in black embossed on the inside of the bracelet which says, “fuck you.”

God, I love you Burning Man.

I also don’t know how much of this blog I am going to be able to write.

I don’t have a hook up yet to charge, but I do have access to the internet and that is awesome.  It’s a great privilege and one I do not take lightly.

I will do my best to post every day and put up photos when I can.

I just shot photographs with my Iphone 5c today, nothing with my Fuji.

That will be rectified tomorrow.

For now, it is just really nice to be here.

I have gotten my trailer set up and it’s beginning to feel a lot like Burning Man.

The stars are so deep and full and rich, I have the door to the trailer open and it is just like looking into the heart of the Universe.

It’s one of my favorite things about coming out so early, there’s so little light pollution, it is as if I could just reach up and touch them.

The whole world makes me feel like I can just reach out and touch it.

The mountains, the flat of the playa, the overturned bowl of Delphic blue, the deep high sky that seems only to be over this particular place and time and it delights me that I get to be a part of it once again.

Granted there are always challenges.

I seem to have caught a cold from one of my charges–all three of them and two of the mom’s this past week have had a cold–and my nose is tender, which does not bode well for being out in the dust.

Fortunately, it is early and there’s not a lot of traffic to kick up the dust and the rain seems to have passed and its great weather.

It was hot when we landed, but not unbearably hot and at one point when we were getting water in Gerlach I just wanted to sit out in the sun and soak it all into my bones to carry back with me when I go back to that socked in fog city, San Francisco.

It’s going to be a long haul, but I am happy to have gotten here and to have my things arranged and ready to go for my first day as playa nanny.

I have my laminate.

I’ll get a radio most likely as well.

I got my utility belt out and it’s loaded with hand salve and lip balm and my Sigg water bottle just hooks right onto the belt.  I also have my goggles and bandana and sunblock ready for tomorrow.

And all my finery.

“I feel like I stand out like a sore thumb,” a new friend confided in me at the Commissary as we stood out in a sea of dusty black.

“Don’t worry,” I said and patted her arm, “I will be doing it up in style tomorrow, I feel really unredressed, frankly, being here in my jeans and tennis shoes.”

I had not had the chance to change-up my travel outfit into my playa clothes as the dropping of the family’s trailer had been derailed and was late getting set up.

We all had dinner in our “street clothes.”

And then after dinner I had visitors drop by camp.

I got to see friends and hang out in the back of a truck bed out underneath the twilight sky, dusky velvet with violet love and indigo sparkled with pinks and mauve.

My friends were so beautiful it hurt my heart a little to look at them.

That might be perhaps what I appreciate the most about Burning Man–it breaks my heart open again and again and forces me to let more love into my being.

“The wind is blowing in my eyes, that’s why I am tearing up,” I shared with them, and though true, it was also not true, they were so rich and stunning and lovely to look upon it brought tears to my eyes.

To be blessed to be in the presence of such luminous beauty is an honor.

I love my life.

I love my friends.

I can’t wait to see the rest of them as they trickle in.

*This is where my computer decided to punk out on me and said no more blog lady pants go to bed*

And now it’s tomorrow.

Or today.

Or my first day on playa, true, my first morning.

I slept well, it took a moment, to fall asleep in a new place the first night is always a bit of a challenge, but it was done.

Unfortunately I woke up an hour before my 7 a.m. alarm.

Fortunately I woke up an hour before my 7 a.m. alarm.

I got to see the sunrise, and that’s always a nice thing to do.

Lots of folks at Burning Man see the sunrise, but they are usually on the other end of it, staying up late to see it happen.

I tend to be up early.

My shifts officially start at 8 a.m.

I have to be up and dressed, a visit to the port-a-potty, sunblock, bed made, prayers said, utility belt strapped on, and ready to hit the ground running.

The day was great to start, though, I will admit I am tired now and it would not be a bad idea to take a nap.  I don’t know that I am going to get one today, I think there will be days I do, but today being the first day and the mama and the papa doing all the stuff, it may be hard to get one in.

My charge is down, which is how I am able to write at the moment, and my computer is charging, which seemed to be the issue last night, ran out of juice.

I have yet to run out of juice myself and I am hoping to keep it that way.

More dusty adventures to come.

 

PS

If you are coming out to the great dust bowl family reunion and want to visit, I am located in a Bambi Airstream at 8:45 & C at Camp Equilibrium.  Just ask for “Mary Fucking Poppins,” or “The Poppins.”

Home

Home


%d bloggers like this: