Posts Tagged ‘undergraduate degree’

Almost There!

February 25, 2018

I am almost done with my PhD application!

I have submitted my writing sample–ten pages of an academic paper I wrote for my Transpersonal Spirituality class.

I figured that was a good paper to submit to the program as it, the PhD, is in Transformative Inquiry.

I refreshed and polished my resume and updated it so that it was applicable to the application and I sent that in as well.

I did the online application and submitted that.

I contacted both of the people who wrote me letters of recommendation and confirmed that they had sent said letters to the department.

And.

I ordered my transcripts from UW Madison and CIIS.

I was a little miffed at first that I had to order transcripts.

Can’t the admissions office just look up the transcripts I already sent in from UW Madison when I applied for the Masters program?

And.

Really?

Does the admissions department need a sealed envelope from the registrars office.

Can’t someone just walk that shit down from the 4th floor to the second floor?

I mean.

Fucking come on.

But.

Then I was like.

Ok, not my rules, not my bailiwick, not my place to criticize, not going to change anything by getting all fired up and I certainly am not going to fucking sabotage myself by not getting the transcripts to the admissions team.

So.

I shelled out the $40 bucks and ordered them to be delivered.

They should get there by the time the deadline closes for the applications.

And if they don’t, which I think they will, I will contact the dean of the Transformative Inquiry program and show copies of the receipts indicating that the materials are on the way.

I don’t think it will be a problem and I will also, now that I’m thinking about it, draft her an e-mail and just let her know I was unaware that they would need my transcripts again since I am currently enrolled at the university, that I paid to have them rushed delivered and shit, she can just look me up online and see that I have a 4.0 for my Masters degree.

It’s silly stuff, but I’d rather pay out the little extra and make sure that I dot my “i’s” and cross my “t’s.”

And really I am happy to do the work.

Although it is a little nerve-wracking.

I had a moment earlier today when I just didn’t know if I was going to get it all done and it felt really overwhelming and I had a mild fuck it moment.

But.

Then I remembered the glowing letters of recommendation that I have received and I thought about how disappointed I would be in myself and I just told myself to take some deep breaths and just do the next action in front of me.

Nothing more.

Just that.

Which at one point was just wash my breakfast dishes.

Then.

It was to do my morning writing.

I had hit a place in the online application process where I felt I was too anxious to continue doing it and I realized that a good way to quell that anxiety would be to do my morning pages.

So.

I just stopped working on the application and wrote three and a half pages long hand and then I did my hair and make up.

I got sassy today too.

I was feeling it.

It helps sometimes for me to get sassy when I am working on something like this, it brings my energy up to be playful and dressed up.

I dare say it worked.

I also focused on doing what the next thing was all day long.

After I got my transcripts ordered I had to mail out a piece of mail and I had to go to group supervision.

So.

I did just that.

I got in my car and I drove to the nearest mailbox and I sent off a signed document for permission to send my transcripts from CIIS to CIIS.

I let go of resentment and judgement around it and just sent in the request.

Then I drove to my internship.

Getting there with just enough time to run to Gus’s Market and grab a to go box and get a salad for lunch.

I sat through two hours of group supervision, I discussed clients, I talked about personal self-care, I checked in about a new client and I supported the other trainees in the room with their processes.

After group supervision I dashed over to Optical Underground, which had moved from Grant Avenue to Linden Alley.

The traffic was hellacious, but I made it there on time and I was able to pick out two new frames for my new prescription.

I, yes, splurged on some prescription sunglasses, and I got a nice new pair for progressive glasses for every day use.

I also asked that they tighten up my current frames, which had gone all loosey goosey on me.

I am really happy I got the glasses and then I bounced to the bank to deposit a check from my employers for the over time I worked this past week.

They always pay me for overtime in cash rather than having me get taxed, which is really quite nice.

Filled up the car with gas and found parking close to my nail salon.

Manicure and eye brow waxing.

Then off to do the deal.

And back home.

I wasn’t going to do a bunch more work on the application.

But I had a moment of realizing that I could do it, that there were in fact, a few things that I could just address tonight and get out-of-the-way.

Thus the resume, the transcript order (first one I did earlier and I couldn’t figure out how to access my UW Madison account before I left for group supervision) for the second set of transcripts, the academic writing sample (ten pages that I went back over and combed and edited to tighten and polish), and the resume.

And.

Voila!

I only have to do the autobiographical statement tomorrow and a statement about my goals for the program.

I should be able to knock that out in an hour.

Very happy with everything I got done today.

God damn.

I am almost done with my PhD application!

How crazy is that?

Advertisements

Is Exhausted A Principle?

October 23, 2014

I was practicing joy today, I mean I figured, I did happy yesterday, logical conclusion, try joy today.

Yeah.

You may have guessed it, tomorrow will be free, but who knows, I may change my mind when I ride my bicycle into work.

Today I felt joyful riding into work, the sun was bright, but not too hot, I was in my bib overalls, I got a grand and cheerful hello and good morning from a guy doing municipal work on a bus stop and it felt right.

Joy.

Joy to be alive and healthy and riding my bicycle to work.

I kept it that way most of the day, grateful for work, my health, my place in the world, it’s a small place, but fulfilling, joy to have the four-year old stroke my hand at dinner and then kiss it sweetly.

Are you wooing me little man?

We both wore bib overalls today.

There is construction happening at the house and we both had on our “working man” uniforms.

He got home from school saw me wearing my overalls and immediately dashed upstairs to get his.

Add one white plastic hard hat and he was a go.

We went in search of construction sites in the neighborhood–considering where my job is located, there were no dearth of sites to watch–plenty of condos going up on every corner.

The continuation of housing gentrification does amuse me.

I still rue not taking the studio that I was offered at Valencia and 21st seven years ago.

The rent was $850!

I could have been at Valencia and 21st!

But I am where I am and that’s ok.

The bike ride is good exercise, even when I am tired I am grateful for the exercise.

And I felt no little joy when talking to the mom this afternoon at lunch time while the littlest guy was down for his nap.

“Have you been accepted into a graduate program already,” she asked out of the blue.

“No, the application for the school I am interested in has not been opened yet.  I have been to the open house, but admissions for fall doesn’t open until November 15,” I replied.

We talked about the program.

We talked about my undergraduate degree.

She expressed some amazement at the fact that I worked close to full time hours when I was doing my undergrad.

Sometimes I too am amazed, I worked 30-35 hours a week, went to school full-time and also trained at the dojo I studied martial arts at four to five days a week.

Well.

There were some months when it was more like once or twice a week, but ultimately I was training a lot and found the practice super helpful, in hindsight, it held my drinking in check, even though I was running a brewing company and nightclub.

The packed schedule helped me keep up the illusion that I had some control over my life, even while it was spinning merrily out of my control.

I told the mom that I planned on working while pursuing my masters degree and that yes, I had looked into other programs, but none of them were quite the fit that CIIS is (California Institute of Integral Studies).  The fact that I could get a master’s degree in three years and work full-time is appealing.

Although I have heard from more than one person that I will want to only work part-time.

The mom made it clear that they would have room for me no matter what.

That is awesome to hear.

More joy.

In fact, a bit of a relief, to know that I can go and apply to this program and have a source of income for the time that I will be studying.

“We have the kind of household where we are always going to need help,” she said succinctly.

Yes.

I really like the family and I absolutely adore the boys.

They wear me down, they do, but they are also sweet, and snuggly and beautiful and smart and funny and damn good company.

Whether I am reading a story with the family dog and the littlest guy on the couch or having pirate battles on the high seas with the four-year old, I feel that I have been fully integrated into the mix.

Add to that job security while going after my masters degree and I am quite the content lady.

I do have to continue forward with work around my application.

The admissions for fall will open in three and a half weeks.

Not that I need to send it in the day it opens, but I would like to have it done sooner rather than later, I don’t see the point in putting off doing the work to apply.

Granted I am going to need a little time to write the personal essay and do to an academic paper for the writing sample the school requires.  I will also need a letter of recommendation from an academic source and my transcripts.

Perhaps that is what I can do this weekend–order my transcripts.

The essay of why I want to go back to school won’t be hard, hell, I have had some practice writing about that since I was at Burning Man this summer.

What did you do over summer vacation?

I had an epiphany at Burning Man and decided to go to graduate school in an area I have never thought to explore before–therapy.

And I wasn’t even on drugs when I had my come to Jesus moment!

I will most likely address my sobriety and recovery in a different manner than I do here, there’s a kind of, ahem, anonymity, that I practice here that I can let drop when I am writing my admissions essays.

They won’t be made public.

I keep certain things to myself in matters regarding the press, radio, tv, and film.

Not that I am on tv or film or radio.

But this blog is public and I prefer to keep certain things a little, well, private, although you could probably read between the lines if you spoke the language of the heart.

Anyway.

Enough with being oblique.

Back to being exhausted.

Which is not so bad now that I have had a moment to sit and rest and sip some tea and write some words.

Funny how I always feel invigorated after I write a blog.

This too is my joy.

Joy.

Bliss, gaiety, happiness, satisfaction.

All of the above.

Even when I am tired.

I have loads of joy in my life.

Being aware of it and present might be the best thing about it all.


%d bloggers like this: